Could it be that we've

[jbrain]

I stopped taking difficult child about 18 months ago because he just kept
regurgitating the same issues over and over again and the various
therapist kept acting like it was the most important thing they
ever heard. Finally I said to the new school therapist "I really
do appreciate your caring and concern BUT believe me difficult child has
already discovered that his past traumas draw attention. It is
my opinion that it is time for him to ask help in moving forward
and not rehashing the past." difficult child was present and kinda smiled
as I said that. I turned to him and said "Son, you and X can
meet as many times a week as he chooses but you know and I know
there is NO value in rehashing your childhood with your Mom and
her sorry boyfriend...NONE."

DDD

Hi DDD,
this sure sounds familiar! Emily kept regurgitating the same issues too--her dad's death, my dating and remarrying after his death. Yes, I know these were big issues with her but the same thing would happen--therapist would focus in on those things and that's what they would work on. Never mind that she had issues before her dad ever got sick--none of the therapists ever seemed to place much weight on that!

I, too, told her she needed to move on from these issues but she never did.

Thanks,
Jane

 

[Wiped Out]

I'm piping in late on this (not sure how I missed this yesterday) and haven't had a chance to read all the responses but I often wonder if all the therapy is helping. I don't see a lot of changes in difficult child and am sometimes so frustrated but yet I keep taking him hoping maybe at some point it will help.

 

[Shari]

Add me to the list.

However, altho therapy never seemed to offer long-term solutions for either difficult child 1 or his bio dad before that, it DID help them both be functional in society when they were attending.

For difficult child 1, I truly feel it kept him from getting into serious trouble at younger ages. And I think with difficult child's, the more time for maturity you allow, the better their chances. So maybe it helps in the long run, who knows.

I know I changed therapists on difficult child 1 because, like DDD said, enough rehashing the past, lets move forward.

 

[timer lady]

Our tdocs have been pushing the tweedles to move forward. To take on the role of survivor rather than victim along with new coping skills & such.

Having said that - it's a slow go. Yup, a nap in the rocking chair works for me. I'll meet anyone anywhere for coffee while our little wonders have their sessions.

 

[DDD]

You know what, Linda? I decided it was not appropriate for me to
post Mothers Day but this thread that you started indicates that
there is a relevence. When you posted the Mothers Day card from
your daughter I had two thoughts. First, I thought how sweet it
was that she remembered you and made a card. My second thought,
however, was similar to this thread. I wondered how long is she
going to think "you saved me from abuse" as opposed to "you love
me now and forever".

I'm still not sure if it is appropriate for me to share that thought because your children have such complex histories. on the other hand
when difficult child stopped thanking me for including him in our family, I felt we had made a big step forward. Does that make sense? DDD

 

[WhymeMom?]

I'm drinking my coffee and thinking of you...

 

[guest3]

in therapy he knocks down blocks and lets the air out of balloons at home he kicks holes in the walls and leaves bruises on my arms from pinching me, yep, therapy works great!