Court order treatment but I have doubts

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by joysheph, Feb 23, 2019.

  1. joysheph

    joysheph Member

    A neighbor finally reported my son sleeping in his car in front of my house. Bound to happen. I recieved a call from son stating he has been in detox and went for a psychiatric evaluation that's over 100 miles away. I asked if its court ordered but he quickly changed the subject. Now hes in a 30 days inpatient treatment program. I'm very glad to here this news. But on our conversation he seemed as if it's a jail sentence just doing whatever until release day. I've asked if hes soaking the treatment and hes just like yeh it's this and that. No excitement in his tone of voice.
    He says when he gets out hes getting old job back and going to oxford house back in my town. I asked if that's a good idea to come back in comfort environment he says yes cause drugs are everywhere. And he knows people in our town. I'm uncertain about that decision due to the fact I doubt this recovery I dont trust him yet. I'm Leary hell be right back on my porch high! I hate that I just dont believe him. I feel this treatment is court ordered so he will just work it until release day. I pray I'm wrong.
    Joysheph
     
  2. Acacia

    Acacia Active Member

    My 33 son was in exactly the same situation. Released to rehab and then sober house. Didn't take it seriously. Got kicked out of sober house and is now homeless in our home town with the same group of 'friends' he's been getting into trouble with for years.

    I always have kept the candle of hope, but I think the flame has gone out. It's cold, he texts me for $ or something else almost every day. I, too, am afraid of him showing up. I told him to stop contacting me for at least a couple of weeks. That lasted 4 days - says he needs my support. I decided not to respond, shut my phone off, am imaging all sorts of sad and stressful outcomes, but I refuse to keep being part of this dance. One minute at a time.

    I'll pray for both our sons.
     
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Ladies I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

    I spoke to a friend the other night whose son was in rehab for heroin and doing great. He was there a month and when she picked him up he was actually himself and saying everything she wanted to hear. Within a few days he was back at it. He had gone to live with his father after rehab. She now knows she should have sent him to a sober house. He is 26. They keep on taking care of him so why should he change right? He lived with her, then his uncle (a former addict) and now is with his dad. If she had asked me I would have told her to not bring him to someone's home again but she did not. I am the only person she knows that has dealt with this and she doesn't go to therapy or reach out in any way to get help or advice other than me.

    We sent our son to another state for a few years where he bounced around, even overdosed. Was in and out of treatment centers. I did not want him around me. I couldn't do it. I liked him being far away. He finally went to a 13 month faith based program which seemed to make a difference. He has been home now for 4 months and doing better than I could have imagined. He worked 62 hours last week. Before we couldn't get him to work or keep a job.

    He is not perfectly sober but he is not doing pills and as says he will not because he paid severe dues for that. Only time will tell but we feel hopeful. If he hasn't learned that lesson by now then he may never.

    This is so very hard on all of us. There just isn't any way to sugar coat it. Love shouldn't hurt this much.
     
  4. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    Until he wants it badly enough, he may not be able to stop. The addict has to want it for himself or herself, not for other people or other reasons. He hasn't learned how to handle the problems or emotions he's trying to block out with drugs. He has to find better solutions when the stressors come.