WearyMomof2
New Member
I’ve seen posts about stepchildren, but I was wondering if anyone has a difficult child whose behavior is affecting the custody of your spouse’s biological children?
My son has ADHD (inattentive type), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and occasionally has explosive episodes, the worst of which resulted in his younger stepbrother getting a concussion. He followed that up with giving the same stepbrother a black eye while my husband was meeting with the custody mediator. My son is regularly seen by a therapist and psychiatrist. He's had a neuropsychological evaluation. His explosive episodes are very short and are not Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). Afterwards, he is very remorseful and embarrassed. We are doing what we need to do for all of the boys, but then we have my stepsons’ mother involved in the discussion and contradicting what our family therapist advises. In the end, their custody agreement trumps good advice from a therapist.
Most of the time, my son is a completely non-violent, highly immature and over-emotional child who never stops talking. Emotionally he often acts more like a 6 to 8-year-old. He cries all the time. He needs so much more parenting that I can give him. He needs constant one on one interaction.
My husband shares custody of his four boys ages 8-14, and together we have a 3-year-old who is showing signs of autism and is in early autism intervention. It’s overwhelming, and I feel no matter what I do, I’m failing someone.
My son’s therapist says he needs to practice the skills he is lacking to help resolve the issues between him and his stepbrothers, but it risks him having a challenging episode, and my husband doesn’t feel it’s worth the risk. More and more, my son and stepsons have zero time together that isn’t heavily monitored by my husband. When in doubt, he sends the boys off to their mother's and then the resentment builds because my stepsons see their father less often. I wish this could be an opportunity for them to develop empathy towards my son but they don’t have any relationship with my son, and their mother doesn’t care about my son or how things work for our family, only that her boys get time with their dad. There’s only so much time in the day, and my stepsons get shortchanged, and there is nothing we can do about it. I think my stepsons take that resentment out on my son. He doesn’t have the frustration tolerance or social skills to deal with it, so he lashes out.
I fear my son is internalizing the criticisms. Recently he's acted out damaging my stepsons' belongings. When I ask him about it, he says he wants to 'get them back.' It's so out of character for him. I try to advocate for him and help him navigate the world and then he just does something stupid and he's back to being the 'bad' kid again.
My son has ADHD (inattentive type), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and occasionally has explosive episodes, the worst of which resulted in his younger stepbrother getting a concussion. He followed that up with giving the same stepbrother a black eye while my husband was meeting with the custody mediator. My son is regularly seen by a therapist and psychiatrist. He's had a neuropsychological evaluation. His explosive episodes are very short and are not Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). Afterwards, he is very remorseful and embarrassed. We are doing what we need to do for all of the boys, but then we have my stepsons’ mother involved in the discussion and contradicting what our family therapist advises. In the end, their custody agreement trumps good advice from a therapist.
Most of the time, my son is a completely non-violent, highly immature and over-emotional child who never stops talking. Emotionally he often acts more like a 6 to 8-year-old. He cries all the time. He needs so much more parenting that I can give him. He needs constant one on one interaction.
My husband shares custody of his four boys ages 8-14, and together we have a 3-year-old who is showing signs of autism and is in early autism intervention. It’s overwhelming, and I feel no matter what I do, I’m failing someone.
My son’s therapist says he needs to practice the skills he is lacking to help resolve the issues between him and his stepbrothers, but it risks him having a challenging episode, and my husband doesn’t feel it’s worth the risk. More and more, my son and stepsons have zero time together that isn’t heavily monitored by my husband. When in doubt, he sends the boys off to their mother's and then the resentment builds because my stepsons see their father less often. I wish this could be an opportunity for them to develop empathy towards my son but they don’t have any relationship with my son, and their mother doesn’t care about my son or how things work for our family, only that her boys get time with their dad. There’s only so much time in the day, and my stepsons get shortchanged, and there is nothing we can do about it. I think my stepsons take that resentment out on my son. He doesn’t have the frustration tolerance or social skills to deal with it, so he lashes out.
I fear my son is internalizing the criticisms. Recently he's acted out damaging my stepsons' belongings. When I ask him about it, he says he wants to 'get them back.' It's so out of character for him. I try to advocate for him and help him navigate the world and then he just does something stupid and he's back to being the 'bad' kid again.
Last edited: