You know I wander, if( maybe when really) he does go to a hospital, how long will it take him to act up?
What happens once he is there will just be what happens while he is there. Good or bad, you both will do your best, and you will pull through it together.
If you can remember that doing the best we know is the best there is, that will help you fee more settled around this issue, I think. And if you can keep thinking and wondering and learning how best to help your son through this, that is how you will know you are doing the best for him that you know. Then, when you know you will still be keeping a part of your heart open for new information for him, let the worry of it fall away from you.
Once we have done our best, then we just get to love what's left.
That is a gift too, in a way.
Accepting that we have done everything we know, I mean. That acceptance makes it possible for us to relax into loving our people and ourselves. Knowing we have done all we can and giving ourselves credit for the hardness of it frees us somehow, too. We can be more flexible then, I think, in how we respond to the hard things.
I don't know what will happen with your son either, but I do know that you love him and that you are in his corner. In that sense, he is such a fortunate boy, who has a mother who loves him as you do.
There is a kind of awesomeness, a kind of wonder, about how much we love one another, down beneath the rotten everyday things that are happening to all of us.
I think we need to trust that this is true, and from that, know that we are enough and more than enough, for whatever our situations turn out to be.
It's scary sometimes, though.
We want so badly for everything to be alright.
I was on my second day trying to figure it out, he looked in and told me what it was, second time- different issue!! I just want him to use that part of his brain all the time!
This is a good thing, a thing in his favor.
Are there ways you can think of to help him use his talents more often, maybe changing his idea of who he is and how he responds? Our emotions are such crazy things. Take PTSD or night terrors or anxiety. Now, why would any of that
help us? But there had to be a reason we evolved the way we did, so we just have to accept that they are there in us and do our best to cope. Part of that for me, part of that "How do I cope with
this?!?" has been to do more of those things I do well. Then, I can get a handle on the other stuff, too.
I can regain a little sense of control, so I can remember who I am, really.
And I am more than PTSD or Anxiety Lady.
:O)
Maybe that would help your son, too? Some simple mechanical thing to put together or figure out, maybe?
Maybe, Grandpa could help you figure something out.
Two birds. One stone.
I feel everything I have been through as my kids and family, I do have something to offer, at least a shoulder, other parents , esp new members might be in a similar dilemma as me
Your comments would mean so much to other moms. You are right. We don't need to have any answers. Most of the time, there aren't any. But just to know we are not alone, that we are not the only ones, that someone else has made it through the parts that seem overwhelming inspires courage and certainty that we can do it, too.
And so, we are stronger, and we pull ourselves and our people through it.
Post away!!!
:O)
I just want them to know how Im still pushing for my kids to be ok, and our paths takes different routes but we are all here for the same reason overall. Our kids. Nobody agrees on everything and thats ok, you all are great and you know what? Im ok too.
I love this.
You are very right. You will strengthen some other mom and help some other child you don't even know yet.
And the world will be a better, kinder, saner place.
It's sort of a miracle, isn't it.
Cedar
