2much2recover
Well-Known Member
Another crisis solved 
Evil thoughts...
- Thread starter Lil
- Start date
Nikimoto
Pursuit of peace
Lol! And here I was feeling mildly concerned someone would take offense at my accidental cussing! Right, did not type thank you, my descriptive language was s h i t t y without the spaces.
Also, I am a landlord too, and its 'censor me thank you'.
I joined the landlord protection agency, and you can legally have tenants acknowledge wonderful things such as you don't provide appliances for destructive hobbies.
Also,
"All he had to do was stop stealing from us."
Yes, my E was caught, red handed at times, stealing left and right. He would twist the facts and deride us for 'making accusations' or even accuse me of misplacing things and money that went missing, and accusing me of coercing my then 5 year old daughter to lie. We know 5 year olds can lie, but when I walk in the door and she looks upset and begins to spontaneously utter things she saw him do, and her story does not change from telling me, to telling dad, to telling the cops, he much loses all credibility. It was horrible, and we moved him out slightly before he turned 18. Oh well!
Also, I am a landlord too, and its 'censor me thank you'.
I joined the landlord protection agency, and you can legally have tenants acknowledge wonderful things such as you don't provide appliances for destructive hobbies.
Also,
"All he had to do was stop stealing from us."
Yes, my E was caught, red handed at times, stealing left and right. He would twist the facts and deride us for 'making accusations' or even accuse me of misplacing things and money that went missing, and accusing me of coercing my then 5 year old daughter to lie. We know 5 year olds can lie, but when I walk in the door and she looks upset and begins to spontaneously utter things she saw him do, and her story does not change from telling me, to telling dad, to telling the cops, he much loses all credibility. It was horrible, and we moved him out slightly before he turned 18. Oh well!
Jabberwockey
Well-Known Member
First off Niki, I've worked in the Department of Corrections for going on 23 years so you're going to have to try pretty hard to offend me.
For the record, we weren't landlords by choice. Long story short, we found out the hard way that if you charge lower rent you tend to get a lower class of people. We only had one mobile home on a rented lot and at one point we did a favor for one of the clerical at my wife's work. We were eating around $140 each month (not even charging her what the payment on the trailer was much less lot rent) and she repayed us by trashing the place and trying to claim it was already in that condition when she moved in. One woman moved in after a friend of mine. She was a friend of his so he just gave her the key. I still chew him out every once in a while for that! Never got a dime from her and she moved in around August and we finally had to take her to court in December to evict her. She had pets even though they weren't allowed. She trashed it too. We raised the rent and the woman stayed in it for years and actually bought it from us last spring.
Our son tried the denial thing but he was always so stupid about what he did. Pawned my guitars when I take weekly lessons, tried to deny stealing the cash we had in a jar in the closet in our room. He actually tried the whole "I dont know what happened" routine until I called him on it.
Basically said even if it were one of his friends rooting around in our room, which I DONT believe, YOU were the one who let them wander around our house stealing stuff so its STILL your responsibility. At that point he fessed up to stealing at least part of the money. He still hasnt completely admitted it but he knows we know.
Within a week or so of me co-signing for his apartment he screwed things up at work and while he is technically still employed, it really doesnt help since the boss isnt giving him any hours due to excessive call ins and complaining. Since he currently has a roof over his head on our dime (Lil paid the rent AGAIN this afternoon) and is now getting food stamps, he is apparently in no hurry to go job hunting. Yeah, come June 1st he has a VERY rude awakening coming his way. No more apartment, no more cell phone (unless he gets around to signing up for the government assistance one which he HAS been warned to do), no more anything. He wants his freedom, have at it.
For the record, we weren't landlords by choice. Long story short, we found out the hard way that if you charge lower rent you tend to get a lower class of people. We only had one mobile home on a rented lot and at one point we did a favor for one of the clerical at my wife's work. We were eating around $140 each month (not even charging her what the payment on the trailer was much less lot rent) and she repayed us by trashing the place and trying to claim it was already in that condition when she moved in. One woman moved in after a friend of mine. She was a friend of his so he just gave her the key. I still chew him out every once in a while for that! Never got a dime from her and she moved in around August and we finally had to take her to court in December to evict her. She had pets even though they weren't allowed. She trashed it too. We raised the rent and the woman stayed in it for years and actually bought it from us last spring.
Our son tried the denial thing but he was always so stupid about what he did. Pawned my guitars when I take weekly lessons, tried to deny stealing the cash we had in a jar in the closet in our room. He actually tried the whole "I dont know what happened" routine until I called him on it.
Basically said even if it were one of his friends rooting around in our room, which I DONT believe, YOU were the one who let them wander around our house stealing stuff so its STILL your responsibility. At that point he fessed up to stealing at least part of the money. He still hasnt completely admitted it but he knows we know.
Within a week or so of me co-signing for his apartment he screwed things up at work and while he is technically still employed, it really doesnt help since the boss isnt giving him any hours due to excessive call ins and complaining. Since he currently has a roof over his head on our dime (Lil paid the rent AGAIN this afternoon) and is now getting food stamps, he is apparently in no hurry to go job hunting. Yeah, come June 1st he has a VERY rude awakening coming his way. No more apartment, no more cell phone (unless he gets around to signing up for the government assistance one which he HAS been warned to do), no more anything. He wants his freedom, have at it.
Nikimoto
Pursuit of peace
All the priviledge of being an adult with all the comforts of being a child. This is exactly Evan.
Evan's stealing from the little kids' jar.
Evan's breaking into our library to steal things.
Evan's lying about attending Judo while he forged my name to donate blood.
Are we in the same universe where our well cared for and beloved sons lose their minds?
Evan's stealing from the little kids' jar.
Evan's breaking into our library to steal things.
Evan's lying about attending Judo while he forged my name to donate blood.
Are we in the same universe where our well cared for and beloved sons lose their minds?
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
This one sounds like he is doing serious drugs. That's what they do to be able to afford the hard stuff. Pot is cheap and easy to get and kids share. When they start having to steal big items...it is worse. That is the reason they steal most of the time. They also tend to sell their own valuables when they use drugs. Often we have no idea how mired in drugs they really are. In fact, like me, often we feel badly for them because we feel they are mentally ill (bipolar is the most common thing we believe they have and not drug ups and downs). Please watch your wallet and don't give this kid a dime. You'll be helping him buy drugs...even if you don't have proof...yet.
Nikimoto
Pursuit of peace
We have never been the openly giving kind of parents. Our children are taught the self respect of earning and saving. He gets jobs easily, can be very charismatic, but also easily cons people. He had a guy at his last job giving him money to do laundry though he had his own money, and bringing him food, though he had access to all the food he needed here. He's just a con, and a belligerent one at that.
As to his laundry being done out of his pocket? Well, my policy even years, a whole decade before I married his wonderful step dad, was to start the laundry on Friday morning, have everything in the hampers, I do it all. That evolved slightly over the years, to the older the kids got, showing them how to start loads, help with the drying either by machine or line, help with folding and putting away. This was eventually eroded by him into not doing any of it. He would sit on the floor and look at me dumbly as I threatened to give all his unfolded laundry to goodwill if he refused to care for it. He would keep his filthy clothes in his room for two weeks until he ran short, then instead of bringing it on Fridays, would load up the empty hampers on Sunday nights, claiming he forgot. I dumped those hampers into the middle of his floor and said no. He began to lie that we refused to allow him clean laundry. I one day refused to allow him to use our home laundry any longer, just fed up with his petty conceit. So stupid to pick that fight. When he finally moved in with his brother, which I doubt was the best idea in the world, he still refused to take his own $6 to the laundry mat a couple blocks from here and pack all his clothes. He left them in the garbage bags I had put them into. So, I washed, dried, folded and donated them all to goodwill like I said. He started demanding for me to send the rest of his stuff after he left in a nasty, ungrateful huff, and was succinctly told he has no stuff here.
Done.
As to his laundry being done out of his pocket? Well, my policy even years, a whole decade before I married his wonderful step dad, was to start the laundry on Friday morning, have everything in the hampers, I do it all. That evolved slightly over the years, to the older the kids got, showing them how to start loads, help with the drying either by machine or line, help with folding and putting away. This was eventually eroded by him into not doing any of it. He would sit on the floor and look at me dumbly as I threatened to give all his unfolded laundry to goodwill if he refused to care for it. He would keep his filthy clothes in his room for two weeks until he ran short, then instead of bringing it on Fridays, would load up the empty hampers on Sunday nights, claiming he forgot. I dumped those hampers into the middle of his floor and said no. He began to lie that we refused to allow him clean laundry. I one day refused to allow him to use our home laundry any longer, just fed up with his petty conceit. So stupid to pick that fight. When he finally moved in with his brother, which I doubt was the best idea in the world, he still refused to take his own $6 to the laundry mat a couple blocks from here and pack all his clothes. He left them in the garbage bags I had put them into. So, I washed, dried, folded and donated them all to goodwill like I said. He started demanding for me to send the rest of his stuff after he left in a nasty, ungrateful huff, and was succinctly told he has no stuff here.
Done.
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2much2recover
Well-Known Member
Bravo Nikimoto, you are one tough mama, good for you for taking a tough stand!
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
As an employee of Goodwill, I say bravo! There are people very willing to buy nice clothes at a good price.
On the other hand, if they are in stinky condition, Goodwill will discard them because they don't have the faculties to wash them. They go out "as is" and stinky, musty or B.O. splattered clothes are not even good to go to third world countries.
However, it is a nice tax deduction either way so great move!!!!
On the other hand, if they are in stinky condition, Goodwill will discard them because they don't have the faculties to wash them. They go out "as is" and stinky, musty or B.O. splattered clothes are not even good to go to third world countries.
However, it is a nice tax deduction either way so great move!!!!
mjhawks
Member
Oh, you guys get me. You guys understand me. I can NOT wrap my head around the logic, EVER. DQ is the same as all the other "kids" here. Its always what someone else has done to her, never that she earned a consequence. And the stealing.... oh god, the stealing drives me batty. I'll look for my iPod for an hour, before it dawns on me that DQ probably took it. And sure enough, every time, she does. And she always has a good reason for taking it. Like, "I wanted to listen to music and you took my phone, so...." Mind boggling.
Tentimesaround
New Member
My daughter is the same as well. The theft, the lies and then the denial until you think you are crazy one! Letting go ... And trying so hard not to try to figure out "why"
Lil
Well-Known Member
That would have been a refreshing change of pace. Our son didn't use our stuff...he pawned it.
Nikimoto
Pursuit of peace
When Evan quit his job at mcds and reneged on his sweet cell contract his stepdad and I worked out for him, he would often go back in out library and take it, arguing he needed it. ? Nobody needs a cell phone. Not even today, we still have a house phone he can use it all he wants. So, we warned him that he owed us for the two months of use and would have to pay for the unit if he took it again. Which he did of course, and racked up data charges over the whole 5 months until we finally cut it off. When we presented him with the bill? "You can't charge me for being your son". Lol!
