*Family, Rob could use a good thought*-Update
- Thread starter Suz
- Start date
ScentofCedar
New Member
Suz, I just finished a book about the power of prayer ~ especially when more than one of us is focusing attention.
Know that J will be in my thoughts, and in my prayers, for the next few days.
Barbara
Know that J will be in my thoughts, and in my prayers, for the next few days.
Barbara
DDD
Well-Known Member
You know that Rob remains in my thoughts and prayers. I do understand what you are experiencing and I'm assuming alot of Rob's feelings are like those of easy child/difficult child. I don't know if it is more depressing to know that the experts say three to five years passes before you "level". That, of course, is not the same as becoming the person you used to be but means you will have a good idea how your future will be.
We had the fourth anniversary last month. There has been alot of improvement but he "pretends" to be sharper than he really is now and can pull it off when he stays sober and limits the time frame. Denial and fear are common side effects.
easy child/difficult child took antidepressants for a short while. Since he has always had ADHD, the stimulant medication made a big difference for awhile. He then decided he didn't want to take them anymore because it "made him feel like a child instead of an adult" Yikes.
If Rob is not in denial he might feel better using one of the message boards for Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) survivors. I learned alot there but easy child/difficult child never wanted to connect with other disabled people. Many hugs coming your way. DDD
We had the fourth anniversary last month. There has been alot of improvement but he "pretends" to be sharper than he really is now and can pull it off when he stays sober and limits the time frame. Denial and fear are common side effects.
easy child/difficult child took antidepressants for a short while. Since he has always had ADHD, the stimulant medication made a big difference for awhile. He then decided he didn't want to take them anymore because it "made him feel like a child instead of an adult" Yikes.
If Rob is not in denial he might feel better using one of the message boards for Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) survivors. I learned alot there but easy child/difficult child never wanted to connect with other disabled people. Many hugs coming your way. DDD
Marcie Mac
Just Plain Ole Tired
Lots of good JuJu being sent your and Robs way..
Marcie
Marcie
Suz
(the future) MRS. GERE
Thank you so much for your good thoughts and suggestions. I spent a lot of time today on the phone searching for some program or other for Rob. It turns out that there are several State resources for Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) folks, even a support group in the city where he lives! I talked to someone there, was thrilled to tell Rob when I called him tonight, and he started complaining. Honestly, it made me want to scream. I told him I'd pursue more info and we'd talk about it on Sunday when he and Heather are coming over for our Christmas celebration dinner. I know a lot of his response is anxiety speaking. It's still annoying. Give me strength.
Suz
Suz
N
Nomad
Guest
Sending good thoughts as well.
Ironically, I called the other day re: Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) groups and was happy that I got a message on my recorder re: a chapter in my state.
I do wonder if not only is he suffering from the physical manifestations of the accident, but also the psychological (trauma/grief) impact as well.
Ironically, I called the other day re: Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) groups and was happy that I got a message on my recorder re: a chapter in my state.
I do wonder if not only is he suffering from the physical manifestations of the accident, but also the psychological (trauma/grief) impact as well.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Suz, I"m sorry I didn't check in until now. I don't check PE every day. I'm so sad for poor Rob. I have some point of reference as to how hard it can be with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) because my brother in law was in a serious motorcycle accident and literally had to learn everything from scratch. It sounds like Rob is doing better than that. I truly hope he can find some cheer and hope during this holiday season and perhaps some good resources to speed his recovery. Sending prayers and good vibes to all of you. Perhaps the baby will perk him up (a lot!) when it is born, give him something to focus on that is good.
Take care.
Take care.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
It is a whole lot to have to think about and do. I had to relearn how to walk and use my arms and hands to feed myself. I still have nightmares about that. I have PTSD about the fact that I cant remember the why's and how's it happened to me. Im sure he does too. All you know is one day you are perfectly fine and then you wake up in the hospital and you are broken. You dont feel right. You cant do what you think you could do before this "whatever you dont remember" happened to you.
DDD
Well-Known Member
easy child/difficult child had no interest in attending the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) meetings either. There is a HUGE emotional component to Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)'s and men are not into "sharing" as you know. It's the nature of the animals. There often is also a lack of motivation (or inability to get motivated) that can linger for years plus.
Chances are Rob is hoping that he can visit someone who can "fix it".
I'd also guess that the arrival of the new baby is triggering emotional response too. easy child/difficult child has always been wonderful with babies but he had too much stress trying to remember all the little things that have to be recalled when caring for a baby. He was not up to babysitting his little sister even though he loved her to death. It scared him. DDD
Chances are Rob is hoping that he can visit someone who can "fix it".
I'd also guess that the arrival of the new baby is triggering emotional response too. easy child/difficult child has always been wonderful with babies but he had too much stress trying to remember all the little things that have to be recalled when caring for a baby. He was not up to babysitting his little sister even though he loved her to death. It scared him. DDD
busywend
Well-Known Member
Aw Suz....HUGS!!!!
I am sending you a ton of strength to continue to help your boy through this.
I am sending a ton of healing vibes to Rob and will be praying that he can work with a therapist or psychiatrist on his depressed feelings.
Your description of his experience brought it much clearer to me, too. I can not imagine knowing there was an old you and how the old you was - and now being a new you. Ugh! The frustration that must bring on.
HUGS!
I am sending you a ton of strength to continue to help your boy through this.
I am sending a ton of healing vibes to Rob and will be praying that he can work with a therapist or psychiatrist on his depressed feelings.
Your description of his experience brought it much clearer to me, too. I can not imagine knowing there was an old you and how the old you was - and now being a new you. Ugh! The frustration that must bring on.
HUGS!
Steely
Active Member
Suz, I came into this late, but please know my prayers and thoughts are being sent your way.
Two weekends ago I had a horrible, intense bout with depression. It was purely chemical, I could feel it. There was not one thing I could "do" that would have changed it - and it was so scary. I know when we are this depressed that the fear compounds the depression. The fear that we will always stay this "way". Still, it was an epiphany for me into the world of people that feel that way every single day. I have only had bouts, not a day in and day out struggle for months at a time. But even those small periods are enough to sink me to my knees.
I truly hope he is able to get some help and possibly some medications that will change his world. Hugs to him, you, and his family.
Two weekends ago I had a horrible, intense bout with depression. It was purely chemical, I could feel it. There was not one thing I could "do" that would have changed it - and it was so scary. I know when we are this depressed that the fear compounds the depression. The fear that we will always stay this "way". Still, it was an epiphany for me into the world of people that feel that way every single day. I have only had bouts, not a day in and day out struggle for months at a time. But even those small periods are enough to sink me to my knees.
I truly hope he is able to get some help and possibly some medications that will change his world. Hugs to him, you, and his family.
Suzi dear.
Rattling the beads madly for Rob, for you, and for all you love
His grief is "normal" under the circumstances
I had a craniotomy 20+ years ago -- and there are still holes in my memory and coordination that I probably never will recover. But so so so SOOOO much of it came back, it was like a miracle! Altho a miracle requiring a lot of work and a lot of STUBBORN!
Now "Stubborn" Rob has yes? So, that's half the battle won, then!
Much love and hoping for some restfulness for you all,
Blondie
Rattling the beads madly for Rob, for you, and for all you love
His grief is "normal" under the circumstances
I had a craniotomy 20+ years ago -- and there are still holes in my memory and coordination that I probably never will recover. But so so so SOOOO much of it came back, it was like a miracle! Altho a miracle requiring a lot of work and a lot of STUBBORN!
Now "Stubborn" Rob has yes? So, that's half the battle won, then!
Much love and hoping for some restfulness for you all,
Blondie
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Like Janet, 7 yrs later I still have PSTD....however mine is vastly improved and pretty much under control at this point. Although out of the blue I can be riding in the car and out of nowhere I'm in the fetal position. (think over exaggerated wince) It never happens when I'm in control of the car, so I try not to ride with others often.
I remember the accident before/after. Although after feels more like a dream than it actually happened. Hard to explain. I still have trouble talking......I tend to mix up what I'm saying or other words from what I intend to say come out of my mouth. At least it has stopped in my writing. It was really severe there at first. I could think I was writing one sentence but what I wrote made no sense.....and I could read it 3-4 times and never spot something was wrong with it until someone actually pointed it out.
I have the same issue with numbers. It has improved a bit, but not that much. I have to be extremely careful when doing numbers. And often a calculator isn't very helpful. It might help me get the math right but when I transpose the numbers getting the math right doesn't matter. This is what scares me to death with pharmacology class. The math is complicated and reversing numbers could kill someone.
I am not the person I was before the accident. And there are times when I find that downright infuriating. I had to work on accepting that.
I hope he'll take you up on the support group. I think it will give him valuable insight that 1. he will improve with time and if he works on it, and 2. he is not alone and 3. that some of the odds things he can't do/ or does now is shared by others with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
(hugs)
I remember the accident before/after. Although after feels more like a dream than it actually happened. Hard to explain. I still have trouble talking......I tend to mix up what I'm saying or other words from what I intend to say come out of my mouth. At least it has stopped in my writing. It was really severe there at first. I could think I was writing one sentence but what I wrote made no sense.....and I could read it 3-4 times and never spot something was wrong with it until someone actually pointed it out.
I have the same issue with numbers. It has improved a bit, but not that much. I have to be extremely careful when doing numbers. And often a calculator isn't very helpful. It might help me get the math right but when I transpose the numbers getting the math right doesn't matter. This is what scares me to death with pharmacology class. The math is complicated and reversing numbers could kill someone.
I am not the person I was before the accident. And there are times when I find that downright infuriating.
I had to work on accepting that.I hope he'll take you up on the support group. I think it will give him valuable insight that 1. he will improve with time and if he works on it, and 2. he is not alone and 3. that some of the odds things he can't do/ or does now is shared by others with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
(hugs)
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
The numbers thing must be a real brain problem shared by all. Can you imagine how embarrassing it was yesterday to stand there and ask the electric guy "my bill is 160 and I have 200 in twenties...how many should I keep in my hand to give you the right amount? I had a brain injury last year and cant subtract anymore."
Thankfully, most people are pretty honest around here and tell me the truth. I try desperately to only use my debit card or have someone with me who can do the math for me.
Thankfully, most people are pretty honest around here and tell me the truth. I try desperately to only use my debit card or have someone with me who can do the math for me.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
((hugs)) Janet. Yes. It is embarrassing. I had trouble the last time I went to the store. I dunno why as most of the time I'm fairly ok with that part now. But the cashier told the me total and I just looked at my money and it might as well have been foreign currency cuz my mind went blank and I did a super intelligent thing and went Huh? Luckily easy child was with me and caught it and told me what to give her. The cashier gave me the strangest look even after easy child explained I'd had a head injury.
I hate those blank brain moments. I don't know why they happen, but that doesn't seem to be going away. Gawd they're embarrassing!
I can't wait to get insurance. My injury was to the back of my skull. My vision is deteriorating rather fast. That part of the brain is the vision center. So I'm curious as to whether the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is a contributing factor to my visual issues. I've worn glasses most of my life, but it can take years and years before I need a new script. Not now. Every time I turn around the glasses I have aren't enough, I no way can I see without them anymore. So I don't know if it's age (I'm not that old) or the injury.
I think finding a support group is an excellent idea. So much so that I think I'm going to look to see if there is one close enough to me that I can go to.
I hate those blank brain moments. I don't know why they happen, but that doesn't seem to be going away. Gawd they're embarrassing!
I can't wait to get insurance. My injury was to the back of my skull. My vision is deteriorating rather fast. That part of the brain is the vision center. So I'm curious as to whether the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is a contributing factor to my visual issues. I've worn glasses most of my life, but it can take years and years before I need a new script. Not now. Every time I turn around the glasses I have aren't enough, I no way can I see without them anymore.
So I don't know if it's age (I'm not that old) or the injury.I think finding a support group is an excellent idea. So much so that I think I'm going to look to see if there is one close enough to me that I can go to.
Suz
(the future) MRS. GERE
Janet/Lisa, check into your states' Department of Health. I was delighted to find out how many services there are for people with brain injuries. It is obviously more common than one would think since there are so many resources. I received a flyer about some of the services today and it said that there are 250,000 people in PA alone with brain injuries. Amazing.
We had our appointment with the neuro-opthalmologist this morning. Long story short, thank goodness he seems to know what he's talking about. Rob needs to go back Jan 7 to get an MRI to confirm. Apparently each eye has 12 nerves that do various things. Rob has "left 4th nerve palsy" that is interfering with his vision. The doctor won't consider surgery until Rob is 6 months post-accident but at least in a couple of weeks we can start to make a plan.
On Jan 21 Rob sees a regular neurologist. I plan to go to that appointment to talk about other therapies....like PT for his left arm if it hasn't gotten stronger by then...and to see what can be done, if anything, to help his short-term memory and cognitive deficits.
What a long haul. Thank you so much for going on this journey with us.
Suz
We had our appointment with the neuro-opthalmologist this morning. Long story short, thank goodness he seems to know what he's talking about. Rob needs to go back Jan 7 to get an MRI to confirm. Apparently each eye has 12 nerves that do various things. Rob has "left 4th nerve palsy" that is interfering with his vision. The doctor won't consider surgery until Rob is 6 months post-accident but at least in a couple of weeks we can start to make a plan.
On Jan 21 Rob sees a regular neurologist. I plan to go to that appointment to talk about other therapies....like PT for his left arm if it hasn't gotten stronger by then...and to see what can be done, if anything, to help his short-term memory and cognitive deficits.
What a long haul. Thank you so much for going on this journey with us.
Suz
