Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
- Thread starter Feeling Sad
- Start date
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Feeling. I am on a cell and unable to comment much. So happy reading the start of your post. Saddened with the latter. Glad you are here. Missed you.
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
I check our joint account Ince a month and put a small amount of money in the bank. I just found out that my son had $158 taken out of our joint account for a Legal Order LTS. I do not know what it is pertaining to at all. All tickets are still sent here for parking or expired tags because this is still his address. He lives in his car. Why would they garnish money? He does not work or receive SSI. Maybe he got in trouble for parking in a residential area overnight. But, if it was a ticket, it would have come here. He must have been arrested, right? Maybe for strange behavior. I hate this. I hate not knowing. He only had $5 left in the bank. He is probably even skinnier now. I will try to look up records.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Just Googled it. Nowhere is arrest mentioned. Have you thought about putting money in his account?
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
How are you both?
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
Yes, I put money in. I always make sure that he has money.
I don't think that he was arrested. He also only missed 2 days at a time not using his debit card. On some sites it said that you have to be sued for someone to be able to get a court order to levy money. One mentioned that attorneys could sue for services rendered.
I also found out that the dmv now can levy accounts through the irs. They do not need to go to court. Maybe they mailed notices to the shelter that he never saw because he moves from town to town in his car. Maybe he didn't pay his registration and it didn't come here because he changed his address on his driver's license.
Maybe someone stole his identity because he hasn't worked in 12 years. Someone stole my father's identity for tax purposes after he died. The irs contacted me asking for the money.
They took $125 out from our account as a fee and $158 as a debt. I am going to the bank tomorrow. They might not tell me. I want to pay it off. They can take funds out monthly and it will ruin both of our credit reports because it is a joint account.
My middle son is not doing well at all. He stays in his room and hardly eats a thing. I am trying to get myself together to be upbeat and perky to welcome my new charges in a week. Yes, I am fortunate that I have a rewarding job, but I am still smiling and dancing at the cotillion...
I don't think that he was arrested. He also only missed 2 days at a time not using his debit card. On some sites it said that you have to be sued for someone to be able to get a court order to levy money. One mentioned that attorneys could sue for services rendered.
I also found out that the dmv now can levy accounts through the irs. They do not need to go to court. Maybe they mailed notices to the shelter that he never saw because he moves from town to town in his car. Maybe he didn't pay his registration and it didn't come here because he changed his address on his driver's license.
Maybe someone stole his identity because he hasn't worked in 12 years. Someone stole my father's identity for tax purposes after he died. The irs contacted me asking for the money.
They took $125 out from our account as a fee and $158 as a debt. I am going to the bank tomorrow. They might not tell me. I want to pay it off. They can take funds out monthly and it will ruin both of our credit reports because it is a joint account.
My middle son is not doing well at all. He stays in his room and hardly eats a thing. I am trying to get myself together to be upbeat and perky to welcome my new charges in a week. Yes, I am fortunate that I have a rewarding job, but I am still smiling and dancing at the cotillion...
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Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Middle son requires diagnosis
and treatment hopefully in an excellent
Hospital over a period of months. You can shelter and nurture him but
he needs what you cannot give too.
Independent of whether he develops
psychosis I fear you re
Tracing your path with elder son.
and treatment hopefully in an excellent
Hospital over a period of months. You can shelter and nurture him but
he needs what you cannot give too.
Independent of whether he develops
psychosis I fear you re
Tracing your path with elder son.
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
I am extremely aware that he needs therapy. It took me 2 years of urging for him to finally get on antidepressants. He had to hit rock bottom. His taking of hair loss medicine caused him to have a reaction and caused his breasts to grow. He stopped the hair loss medications and reduced his antidepressants. I was unaware of these things. He had not moved back home yet.
He was very verbally abusive on our trip and saw a doctor when he returned. She increased his antidepressants to where they should be. He is no longer verbally abusive.
Yes, he is not doing well. Yes, he should receive intensive therapy. I am acutely aware of this fact. He hardly eats and weighs only 110 at 5 feet 9 inches. I have called the suicide prevention line twice in the last 2 years. They will/can do nothing unless he is actively killing himself.
He wants to leave, at times, because he doesn't like how he is treating me. He is not happy living here as an adult. He pays his own way. I will not kick him out when he is suicidal and losing weight. This is very different than my eldest son. He never once spoke of suicide. Yes, I am aware that I am helpless to help him, but I will not throw him out.
He would never admit to being suicidal to anyone. I fear that he is scared that he is becoming schizophrenic. I am petrified. He has never been violent, but is extremely angry at life. I strongly urge him almost daily to receive therapy.
My class this year is exceedingly difficult with para educators, O.T.'s, speech therapists, behavioralists, psychologists, etc. in my room daily. I am very stressed running the show at school and then coming home to more problems. I had an investment property that I let go of, that I wish that I still had. I was losing $12,000 a year, but he could be there instead. But, he would have had to have roommates to meet the mortgage and he is very antisocial now. It is what it is.
I have suggested therapy, as well as, volunteer work, small part time job, seeing friends, hobbies, fun classes, or joining clubs or sports.
I have horrible vertigo today on my day off. I can't walk or watch t.v. due to the room spinning. It makes me nauseous to scroll down on the computer. I never had it before my craniotomy. Now, I have exteme vertigo twice a year. I am due for my MRI of my brain. During my last one, they found some suspicious shadows behind the titanium plate and could not conclusively state what it was. Hopefully, my tumor is not growing back. He said that we would have to "wait and see". My middle son thinks that it is because, he says, I forget small things. I know that I am very nervous around him and do not sleep well at all.
I am making a MRI with and without contrast appointment tomorrow. If my vertigo does not improve, they will perform it when I am brought in.
I am just tired...very tired.
He was very verbally abusive on our trip and saw a doctor when he returned. She increased his antidepressants to where they should be. He is no longer verbally abusive.
Yes, he is not doing well. Yes, he should receive intensive therapy. I am acutely aware of this fact. He hardly eats and weighs only 110 at 5 feet 9 inches. I have called the suicide prevention line twice in the last 2 years. They will/can do nothing unless he is actively killing himself.
He wants to leave, at times, because he doesn't like how he is treating me. He is not happy living here as an adult. He pays his own way. I will not kick him out when he is suicidal and losing weight. This is very different than my eldest son. He never once spoke of suicide. Yes, I am aware that I am helpless to help him, but I will not throw him out.
He would never admit to being suicidal to anyone. I fear that he is scared that he is becoming schizophrenic. I am petrified. He has never been violent, but is extremely angry at life. I strongly urge him almost daily to receive therapy.
My class this year is exceedingly difficult with para educators, O.T.'s, speech therapists, behavioralists, psychologists, etc. in my room daily. I am very stressed running the show at school and then coming home to more problems. I had an investment property that I let go of, that I wish that I still had. I was losing $12,000 a year, but he could be there instead. But, he would have had to have roommates to meet the mortgage and he is very antisocial now. It is what it is.
I have suggested therapy, as well as, volunteer work, small part time job, seeing friends, hobbies, fun classes, or joining clubs or sports.
I have horrible vertigo today on my day off. I can't walk or watch t.v. due to the room spinning. It makes me nauseous to scroll down on the computer. I never had it before my craniotomy. Now, I have exteme vertigo twice a year. I am due for my MRI of my brain. During my last one, they found some suspicious shadows behind the titanium plate and could not conclusively state what it was. Hopefully, my tumor is not growing back. He said that we would have to "wait and see". My middle son thinks that it is because, he says, I forget small things. I know that I am very nervous around him and do not sleep well at all.
I am making a MRI with and without contrast appointment tomorrow. If my vertigo does not improve, they will perform it when I am brought in.
I am just tired...very tired.
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Sam3
Active Member
Ugh! I'm so sorry for you guys. I hate that feeling that more might be going on than just anger issues, or substance abuse. I guess that's why when I'm not turning here for support, sometimes I find comfort in learning about the science.
I'm neither a believer nor a denier of holistic approaches, but in the last few days I was reading about some interesting connections between gut microbes and mood disorders but also schizophrenia. It's way above my pay grade, but the articles mentioned the impact of intestinal flora on dopamine and serotonin dysregulation generally, but for schizophrenics in particular, I guess there are high occurrences of intestinal symptoms and yeasts that damage the lining and affect absorption or something to that effect. I mention it because probiotics are recommended. Seems like such a simple thing to try and since so many people take them just for overall health, it wouldn't need to imply anything. ( I've ordered some for our family.)
And on the pharma side, I was reading that schz disease progression is greatly improved by early detection and early treatment with antipsychotics, esp these newer long acting ones they only have to administer twice a month.
I may have some links if you want to message me.
Acacia
Well-Known Member
Feeling Sad, you have more on your plate than most people could bear. As someone with PTSD, a high school teacher, a mother of two difficult children myself, I marvel at how you have continued to weather the storms in your life.
Most important, most important: take care of you; no one else will. You are such an empath, and now that empathy needs to be extended to you through self-compassion and self-care. The body bears the burden. Your body is holding all your pain, and you keep being re-traumatized.
I have tried more and more to let go of my difficult children. They have their own paths and their own higher power. It hurts, and I feel tremendous anxiety and sorrow, but I came to truly understand that I can't save them, and they no real concern about their effect on me.
My prayers are with you.
Most important, most important: take care of you; no one else will. You are such an empath, and now that empathy needs to be extended to you through self-compassion and self-care. The body bears the burden. Your body is holding all your pain, and you keep being re-traumatized.
I have tried more and more to let go of my difficult children. They have their own paths and their own higher power. It hurts, and I feel tremendous anxiety and sorrow, but I came to truly understand that I can't save them, and they no real concern about their effect on me.
My prayers are with you.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Hi Feeling.
I am sorry it is so hard. Your situation with middle son sounds very similar to mine with my son who we believe is now homeless a few hours from us.
I apologize for any insensitivity which may numb my own sadness and fear and powerlessness.
You get so much from your teaching. Do you think it will soon settle down?
Everything acacia says I ditto. I do care.
I am sorry it is so hard. Your situation with middle son sounds very similar to mine with my son who we believe is now homeless a few hours from us.
I apologize for any insensitivity which may numb my own sadness and fear and powerlessness.
You get so much from your teaching. Do you think it will soon settle down?
Everything acacia says I ditto. I do care.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Feeling. You know I bought a property with the same idea that you lament you forfeited with the sale of the investment property. That my son live there. It did not work. In that it solved not one thing.
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
Copa, I am very sorry to hear that your son is homeless. No apologies needed. We are all hurting. None of my sons are able to be on my health insurance. They are all overage and no one has been diagnosed.
Sam3, yes there is a lot of new research about schizophrenia, mainly about dopamine. I bought tons of vitamins and herbs for my eldest. He never took one. Why would he? He didn't feel that he was ill. Perhaps he thought that I was trying to poison him.
Acacia, I carry on because I have to. I need to support myself. My teaching directs me and forces me to focus on others. It helps me greatly to continue to help others, when I was not able to help my own son. I am fortunate that my health allows me to work. There are always behaviors to address, deadlines, conferences, IEP's, etc. I want to crawl off someplace, but in actuality, it would make me worse. I would have too much time to perseverate.
They also have high hopes of early socialization in treating schizophrenia, which looks rewarding. With my eldest, I tried to get him into a research program at UCLA. Two main problems...they only took patients in the early stages of schizophrenia and, he has anosognosia and lacks insight into being ill.
I have 2 sisters and my eldest son with schizophrenia. There is a very strong genetic component. My middle son, a biologist, told me that I rolled the dice and 'lost' by my son having schizophrenia. He never wants children to pass the disease on.
He is petrified. He keeps saying that he does not feel well. He actually said today that he does not want to "go crazy" like his brother.
Copa, I am finally starting to realize that I lived in fear of being killed for many years. I tried my best. I recently read cases of matricide, again. It helps me to try to strip the situation of any guilt.
The mother usually was trying to get her son to receive help. Most mothers either did not receive help because doctors did not feel that there was a valid threat, they downplayed the violence so that their son would not be arrested, or they had no warnings. I was very fortunate that I had warnings. I numbed out his many death threats with my PTSD. It was a very dangerous situation for my youngest son and myself. I am forcing myself to see it as it really was and I am trying, still, to forgive myself. I truly tried my best.
My eldest was very childlike. I feel like I have pushed a child out into homelessness, but he also was a tall man that had the ability to hurt or kill us. I ache for him every day.
I had a psychologist tell me that he could have killed me without realizing what he was doing. I asked him, in earnest, if I did the right thing. He responded, "Are you kidding?".
I pray that my middle son just has depression and not schizophrenia.
Sam3, yes there is a lot of new research about schizophrenia, mainly about dopamine. I bought tons of vitamins and herbs for my eldest. He never took one. Why would he? He didn't feel that he was ill. Perhaps he thought that I was trying to poison him.
Acacia, I carry on because I have to. I need to support myself. My teaching directs me and forces me to focus on others. It helps me greatly to continue to help others, when I was not able to help my own son. I am fortunate that my health allows me to work. There are always behaviors to address, deadlines, conferences, IEP's, etc. I want to crawl off someplace, but in actuality, it would make me worse. I would have too much time to perseverate.
They also have high hopes of early socialization in treating schizophrenia, which looks rewarding. With my eldest, I tried to get him into a research program at UCLA. Two main problems...they only took patients in the early stages of schizophrenia and, he has anosognosia and lacks insight into being ill.
I have 2 sisters and my eldest son with schizophrenia. There is a very strong genetic component. My middle son, a biologist, told me that I rolled the dice and 'lost' by my son having schizophrenia. He never wants children to pass the disease on.
He is petrified. He keeps saying that he does not feel well. He actually said today that he does not want to "go crazy" like his brother.
Copa, I am finally starting to realize that I lived in fear of being killed for many years. I tried my best. I recently read cases of matricide, again. It helps me to try to strip the situation of any guilt.
The mother usually was trying to get her son to receive help. Most mothers either did not receive help because doctors did not feel that there was a valid threat, they downplayed the violence so that their son would not be arrested, or they had no warnings. I was very fortunate that I had warnings. I numbed out his many death threats with my PTSD. It was a very dangerous situation for my youngest son and myself. I am forcing myself to see it as it really was and I am trying, still, to forgive myself. I truly tried my best.
My eldest was very childlike. I feel like I have pushed a child out into homelessness, but he also was a tall man that had the ability to hurt or kill us. I ache for him every day.
I had a psychologist tell me that he could have killed me without realizing what he was doing. I asked him, in earnest, if I did the right thing. He responded, "Are you kidding?".
I pray that my middle son just has depression and not schizophrenia.
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
Do not apologize. My middle sister became schizophrenic when she was 13 and I was 11. She would threaten my life. My eldest sister had late onset schizophrenia in her 50's. My eldest son became schizophrenic in his early 20"s. I tried to get him to get help for 9 years. I had to file a restraining order 2 years ago because he cracked a bottle and held it to my throat and also argued with his voices about not wanting to kill me. My youngest son lived with me at the time. I have had, unfortunately, a lot of experience with schizophrenia.
Littleboylost
Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Feeling
I had my best friend of 35 years committed to hospital as she was off the rails schizophrenic. Her mother was schizophrenic. The thing that upset me was her husband is a paramedic and he was in such denial that he put his own kids and other at risk.
She attempted to cut her own thumb off as she felt the thumb scanner at work had implanted something in her body. She then pit the family car into a bag and began to beat it to death become ir too had a chip.
Her husband wanted to wait and take her to their family doctor! I said not a chance. I called ahead to be hospital, they had a team and police waiting for us. She tried to run was speaking to peoleband sending signals to people in Colorado through Jesus. It was heart breaking. I just wanted to wring her husbands neck!!
She is doing very well on medication. Was able to return to work as a nurse and continue to care for her children.
She was devistated to learn what she had done to the car as she did not recall this incident and she is a big animal lover.
He husband actually had the gall to insinuate that she try to go off of her medications because they made her gain weight. Unreal.
I had my best friend of 35 years committed to hospital as she was off the rails schizophrenic. Her mother was schizophrenic. The thing that upset me was her husband is a paramedic and he was in such denial that he put his own kids and other at risk.
She attempted to cut her own thumb off as she felt the thumb scanner at work had implanted something in her body. She then pit the family car into a bag and began to beat it to death become ir too had a chip.
Her husband wanted to wait and take her to their family doctor! I said not a chance. I called ahead to be hospital, they had a team and police waiting for us. She tried to run was speaking to peoleband sending signals to people in Colorado through Jesus. It was heart breaking. I just wanted to wring her husbands neck!!
She is doing very well on medication. Was able to return to work as a nurse and continue to care for her children.
She was devistated to learn what she had done to the car as she did not recall this incident and she is a big animal lover.
He husband actually had the gall to insinuate that she try to go off of her medications because they made her gain weight. Unreal.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Wow. The husband is not a nice man.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Feeling. I find the social response fascinating. I read about a Scandinavian country that has close to zero incidence of schizophrenia. Why?
Because they never meet the criteria which requires 6 mos of psychosis, etc.
Why? Because there is an overwhelming social intervention. They throw support to family, peer group and see the illness as a collectively shared affliction and see the remedy as such.
I was amazed at this. Our society is so regressed. So much judgement and blame to the individual and family which results in shame, hiding and fear. Worsening not addressing distress.
You are strong and good, feeling. You are a model of courage.
Because they never meet the criteria which requires 6 mos of psychosis, etc.
Why? Because there is an overwhelming social intervention. They throw support to family, peer group and see the illness as a collectively shared affliction and see the remedy as such.
I was amazed at this. Our society is so regressed. So much judgement and blame to the individual and family which results in shame, hiding and fear. Worsening not addressing distress.
You are strong and good, feeling. You are a model of courage.
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Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
Due to terrible vertigo, I had an MRI last Sunday. I saw my neurologist today and the tumor is not growing back. My middle son is still doing very poorly, but I am grateful that I will be around to help my 3 sons.
Day by day...
Day by day...
