Star*
call 911........call 911
Jane,
Do you suppose if you called a Naval recruiter and asked them it would solidify your doubt or give you some peace? Maybe the internet is outdated, incorrect.....something.
I think that her giving custody to K is good - regardless of if she has joined the Navy or is running wherever to do whatever with whomever. My thought over it all is that she has good enough sense to leave Liam with someone who will take care of him well. Not just so-so, he's not on the road, he's not with looser biodad. So that in itself is a turn in the right direction for your daughter. SHE IS THINKING - about SOMEONE ....other than HERSELF. So kudos for that. BIG ONES.
However - now that she is free from a child and all the responsibilities of that enormous care? Setting aside the fact that you love her, and always will - what she does from here on out is ultimately HER problem/choice/decision/repercussions. You couldn't fix or control her if you tried. Telling her you are aware of yet another in a long line of potential lies? I think it's just going to cause you (YOU) more problems. YES I'd want to tell my son - YES, I'd want him to know I'm not stupid, YES I would have to bite my tongue clear off to say something - but the LAWS of detachment surely must say something about NOT engaging them in any confrontation wherein - you know you are right (or even suspect you are right) and they come back with MORE lies to cover up the big one they told you that got you to this point in the first place.
Does that make sense? () much huh?
I think about how I react to Dudes conversations and I'm happier for it. When he tells me things that I'm sure are "****" I just say "Oh that's nice." and go on with my life - with less aggravation. It took a long time to be able to do this - and I'm still not great at it - but I figure 10 minutes later the phone will ring and it will be a lie to cover up the first lie and then I feel like I got taken in all over again. So I seem to be able to just let him go with the first lie and then sit back and learn from the things he says----while he's covering up from that lie. Knowing I'm not frustrated with myself OR him....It is what it is. () much sense huh?
I don't know anymore (personally) if there is ANYTHING to be gained by calling him on the mat for anything. ---Other than history tells me when I have in the past? It only frustrates ME. Further. More. -
Trying desperately to get rid of the lollipop wraper - and exchange it for a nice bikini to enjoy my basking days in the sun of One upped-ness.
Hugs & Love
Star
Do you suppose if you called a Naval recruiter and asked them it would solidify your doubt or give you some peace? Maybe the internet is outdated, incorrect.....something.
I think that her giving custody to K is good - regardless of if she has joined the Navy or is running wherever to do whatever with whomever. My thought over it all is that she has good enough sense to leave Liam with someone who will take care of him well. Not just so-so, he's not on the road, he's not with looser biodad. So that in itself is a turn in the right direction for your daughter. SHE IS THINKING - about SOMEONE ....other than HERSELF. So kudos for that. BIG ONES.
However - now that she is free from a child and all the responsibilities of that enormous care? Setting aside the fact that you love her, and always will - what she does from here on out is ultimately HER problem/choice/decision/repercussions. You couldn't fix or control her if you tried. Telling her you are aware of yet another in a long line of potential lies? I think it's just going to cause you (YOU) more problems. YES I'd want to tell my son - YES, I'd want him to know I'm not stupid, YES I would have to bite my tongue clear off to say something - but the LAWS of detachment surely must say something about NOT engaging them in any confrontation wherein - you know you are right (or even suspect you are right) and they come back with MORE lies to cover up the big one they told you that got you to this point in the first place.
Does that make sense? () much huh?
I think about how I react to Dudes conversations and I'm happier for it. When he tells me things that I'm sure are "****" I just say "Oh that's nice." and go on with my life - with less aggravation. It took a long time to be able to do this - and I'm still not great at it - but I figure 10 minutes later the phone will ring and it will be a lie to cover up the first lie and then I feel like I got taken in all over again. So I seem to be able to just let him go with the first lie and then sit back and learn from the things he says----while he's covering up from that lie. Knowing I'm not frustrated with myself OR him....It is what it is. () much sense huh?
I don't know anymore (personally) if there is ANYTHING to be gained by calling him on the mat for anything. ---Other than history tells me when I have in the past? It only frustrates ME. Further. More. -
Trying desperately to get rid of the lollipop wraper - and exchange it for a nice bikini to enjoy my basking days in the sun of One upped-ness.
Hugs & Love
Star
