Had to tell the truth

Helpless29

Active Member
Today my son called, said the mental health therapist & his public defender will be calling me, so they can release him on April 28th.He said he told them i said it was ok for him to stay with me, maybe he thought so because I was always afraid to say no & always changed the conversation without giving a direct answer because I didn’t want to hurt him, but today I told the truth & gave him my reasons. He said I don’t care about him , he said how could I leave him in jail like a locked up animal , he said I haven’t cared for him in years , I tried talking to him but he was not trying hear a thing , & hung up on me. Does he know how much I love him? Does he know how so badly I would love to say yes but can’t ? Does he know how much this hurts me ?? I know it shouldn’t be about me, I’m free he’s not , it just hurts so bad .His case has been all over the place & no one knows what to do, they mentioned a group home & getting DCFS involved , they mentioned finding a long term treatment centers,& then they say they want to release him.I know he’s mad / angry because lots of other juveniles are getting released due to the coronovirus but he can’t because me & his father will no longer accept him in our homes . I know he is hurt
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
I am sorry that you are having to go through this.

But your son has made choices which resulted in you making the best choice for your family. He could have changed and turned things around. He could have used this time to straighten himself out.

Your son is young. My son was crazy at that age too. He is now almost 25 and settled down a lot. I disowned him for part of that time and my husband dealt with him. He was NOT in our home for almost 3 years.

Looking back, I only wish I had gotten tougher sooner. He was not willing to change back then so I had to change.

No regrets. Don't write the end of the story. We all know you love your son.
:staystrong::youreright:
 

ChickPea

Well-Known Member
No sure how old your son is, but my daughter went to a court-ordered treatment center when she was 17. I remember her making "miraculous changes" according to he staff there, but knew better. We had young children at home and needed to have some non-chaotic time, and I flat refused to take her back home so she could be released early for "good behavior."

She threw a FIT. She raged. That was the first time she showed her true colors there (and this was after 8-ish weeks). The counselor called me to tell me what happened, and then proceeded to tell me that they were wrong, and she was sorry - but her bed was already going to someone else and she was going to be released anyway. I refused to pick her up or have her stay here. So my parents did. In time, they regretted it.

None of it was easy. Well, it was easy to know that she could not come home. It was hard to fight the system, deal with her rants and cruelty, etc. Hang in there, darling.

He was not willing to change back then so I had to change.
Gosh, what a fantastic quote right there.
 

FluffyOne

New Member
My daughter is not in detention, but she was at Job Corps. We refused to let her come home when they closed her JC Center due to Corona. It's not easy to say, 'No she/he can't come here.' But we knew that if she did come here that she would disrupt the whole family (me trying to work from home, husband is and essential worker, 2 daughters doing high school via social media app, and a 2nd grader that needs attention/help with homeschooling). She was unruly when she lived with us and our home has been extremely peaceful since she's been away (since September 2018). I just can't go back to the way it was before she left. She hasn't changed and I'm done putting up with her outbursts, chaos and quite frankly, her abuse.
 

Helpless29

Active Member
No sure how old your son is, but my daughter went to a court-ordered treatment center when she was 17. I remember her making "miraculous changes" according to he staff there, but knew better. We had young children at home and needed to have some non-chaotic time, and I flat refused to take her back home so she could be released early for "good behavior."

She threw a FIT. She raged. That was the first time she showed her true colors there (and this was after 8-ish weeks). The counselor called me to tell me what happened, and then proceeded to tell me that they were wrong, and she was sorry - but her bed was already going to someone else and she was going to be released anyway. I refused to pick her up or have her stay here. So my parents did. In time, they regretted it.

None of it was easy. Well, it was easy to know that she could not come home. It was hard to fight the system, deal with her rants and cruelty, etc. Hang in there, darling.



Gosh, what a fantastic quote right there.
Chickpea my son is 17​
 

Helpless29

Active Member
Chickpea my son is 17​
Chickpea how old is your daughter now? Has she gotten better? I’m so afraid of the future and what’s to come. He called me yesterday & told me what a bad mom I was & how can I leave him there & DCFS might transfer him to a group home , I don’t know what’s going to happen yet , a lot of things are on standstill because of the Coronovirus, the unknown is the hardest part & not knowing if he will he ever forgive me.
 
Top