He is not well.

[Childofmine]

Suzir I am sorry for what is going on with ache right now. I also see the comfort and purpose that his work brings for him and for you. He is working and from my experience that is always a good thing. We all need to be busy and have purpose. Doing nothing allows way too much time to focus on ourselves. Being accountable to others, physically and mentally tired and focusing on something else when we have problems is healthy behavior.

You can't know the future. I am hoping and praying he levels out and continues on with his profession, however imperfectly that looks like.

 

[TerryJ2]

This is so painful, and no matter how many of us are here for you and with you and share your experiences, I feel like it it is still a lonely place for you. I wish I could make it better.
Just know that I care.

 

[SuZir]

Outwardly Ache has been doing little better during the last couple of weeks. Apparently seems calmer, more engaged, shows less bizarre behaviours. But apparently that is, at least in part, just front.

He has had one episode of being really out of it and delusional. This one was again substance induced. He was having anxiety attack and was given one 10 mg tablet of oxazepam, which he has before used rarely without any other issues than feeling bit slow the next day (the reason he hates all benzos) by a doctor. That was only substance he did take and given circumstances they can be sure about that. Still that one, low dose oxazepam caused him to spiral to delusional and bizarre thoughts, talk and actions for several hours.

So maybe those thoughts are there all the time and it is sheer will that keeps it under control. And then something happens and he relaxes a bit or loses some of that control, all that mess comes to surface. In that case he is fighting a losing battle, I'm afraid.

So while aside of that episode he seems to be doing better, and while still not talking to us, he is talking to his grandpa and according him trying to figure out how to repair the relationship with both us and his mentor figure who is very important to him and whom he angered earlier, I don't dare to be too hopeful. Something seems to continue being really wrong with him.

 

[Copabanana]

Hi Suzir. I am glad you posted. I was wondering how Ache and you guys were doing. Is he still with the same girlfriend you liked so much?

Good for him that he is talking with his Grandpa, and thinking about resuming contact and repairing his relationship with his mentor.

Is this Grandpa your father who you have posted about?

Suzir, how are you doing?

Take care.

COPA

 

[SuZir]

Is he still with the same girlfriend you liked so much?

Yes he is. She just came back from her summer internship abroad. I'm not sure how much she knows about Ache's current issues. Some I'm sure, but maybe not the worst parts. It is a long distance relationship even now and was that even more so from last winter to now and she may not have been aware of his more disturbing behaviours lately. Not sure how he has explained his current situation to her.

Is this Grandpa your father who you have posted about?

Thank goodness, no. I would be running to the hills if it were. No, this grandpa is hubby's dad, my father-in-law, who is a great guy, very sensible and stable and whom Ache has idolized his whole life and who has always doted Ache.

Suzir, how are you doing?

To be honest, I have had better times. Aside of all things Ache (and that would be enough), my work is currently crazy and that makes it very difficult for me to do any decisions about my career. And my dissertation defence day is getting closer. Also Joy is injured and in pain and being a pain.

 

[Copabanana]

And my dissertation defence day is getting closer.

Suzir, I went through that. They will be very gentle and encouraging. I hope. All decisions about you have already been made, I think, already.

What happened with Joy, Suzir?

 

[SuZir]

They will be very gentle and encouraging.

It will mostly be a formality. Though of course I do not wish to screw up in front of the audience (not a big one though, not on my field.) Arranging the party afterwards is more of the challenge.

Still can't help the nerves.

What happened with Joy, Suzir?

Sport injury. Nothing he wouldn't recover and be as good as new after a while. But keeps him out of game for few weeks. And hurts. And makes him a pita.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Sending hugs, SuZir. Its so hard to deal with when our kids are messing up majorly and it isn't even really their choices... I hate mental illness!