Helping family member

[Hummingbird]

Although I have been on computers for quite a while, the IT part. The fixing, building, networking, troubleshooting part. I have not had very much exposure to forums. The signature thing is a little confusing. I am not sure what is expected for that. I am a 50yo mother and now Grandmother. I have raised three adult children, the oldest 31yo male, oppositional from age 4, just out of prison wanting to improve and change his life. He and I are now living with his half sister and her 11yo male severely oppositional child. Having to adjust and compassionately work with all three of them to get along in this extremely disfunctional setting is challenging. Very nice to have my oldest see a reflection of the behavior of his younger years and how it affected me and landed him serving the years in prison. He is motivated to help his nephew change his ways and show me his appreciation. I found this website looking for ways that we might be able to help her son. And just writing this is actually letting off some steam. So thank you for making it available. I plan on reading and writing whenever possible. Thank you. Hummingbird.

 

[Hummingbird]

Oh, okayy. now I'm seeing how this works.

 

[Copabanana]

Welcome Hummingbird. Weekends are always slow.

Wow. Your current situation seems to me to have the makings of a movie.

How very exciting in a certain way. What I mean here is there is great potential for each one of you. High stakes. Risk, too.

I admire you greatly for taking this on. Many, many of us, would try to get as far away as we can.

I, for one, have both impulses, with respect to my 30 year old son. To run, and to draw close. I cannot yet determine which one is stronger. Not easy for me.

I am just now seeing your photo. And statement. Everything...up for review. What extraordinary power and courage in that.

Glad you are here.

 

[Hummingbird]

I can totally relate to everything you said. I have such a strong urge to want to let my son grow through this experience and also to share my wisdom about what I found that works and does not work. And to encourage the creativity that so often is needed to get by from day to day to find ways to cope.

 

[susiestar]

Welcome, Hummingbird! You are amazing to help them all so much!!! Be sure to take good care of yourself as all of this is going on. It is completely true that if you are not taken care of, you cannot help any of them. For many of us that was a super hard lesson to learn.