How Do You Get Your Kids To Tell You Whats Wrong?

[dstc_99]

Check into a court designated worker and see if they have an unruly child program. Basically you as a parent go in and fill out paperwork stating what the issues are and what rules you would like followed. The CDW takes this to a judge and has them approve the child to be in the program. Once they are the CDW tells them how life is going to be and what the consequences are for offenses. If at anytime the child breaks the contract the parent/school calls the CDW and the difficult child gets a punishment. It can be as simple as volunteering to rake a yard or as bad as them being removed from the home. It all depends upon the offense and the severity of it or the number of offenses.

From what was explained to me it doesn't go into their records like juvie does unless they get to the point where they are going to juvie.

Having said that I can see that most of what seems to be going on is mental health related. The CDW can help you mandate their attendance in counseling. The best part is you don't have to do all the punishing they CDW handles it.

One thing you should keep in mind is that they don't put kids or adults for that matter into a psychiatric hospital simply because they wont mind and are unruly. They generally have to be a danger to themselves or others. I would stop threatening the kids with that because it just gives them something to prove you don't follow through. You can take them to the doctor the ER or wherever but they will not put them in the psychiatric hospital at your request if they can't find a truly significant reason. They would be more likely to pull them from you and put them in a respite situation so you could get some releif. Actually those of us who have dealt with mental health for years would place bets on them calming you down and sending them right back home with you.

 

[BusynMember]

dstc_ is right. In fact, it is even worse than that. 36, when he was far from 36, used to say he was going to kill himself all the time. I'd take him to ER when he got that way and they'd say, "Well, son, are you suicidal now?"

He'd say, "No" because he didn't want to get admitted an d was calm by then.

They'd ask, "Do you feel like hurting anyone else?"

He'd predictably shake his head."No."

Home he'd go, sometimes to call up in hysterics threatening to kill himself again that night. Another trip to ER, another trip home. When asked why he did that, he said, "I really do feel that way, but I'm afraid of the hospital."

He is about twenty years older now. He lives far away. I call 911. But I agree with dstc_...I would not threaten the kids with that because they will find out that it isn't going to happen and difficult child kids keep score. They will see this as a win for them and another, "Mommy can't do anything." I like the cliche "Actions speak louder than words." If you have a plan, do it without talking it over with them. Then they'll see that you do have some power over them, at least until they are eighteen.

Hugs again. You are a real trooper. You take a lickin' and keep on tickin' (as the very old retro Timex commercials say). You are a Warrior Mom of the finest.

 

[Confused]

Thank you Insane, dstc, and Midwest. Its hard with more then one, you all know that and I shouldnt be complaining like this. I think its gonna take some time to get over this shock about my daughter. I mean, I knew things were up in the air, but never did I think there would be such a 180. I read what you all said and I will do as you say, you all know and have been through it. I feel so alone, no one here understands what Im going through ( you all do) My grandpa and I are fighting because he wants me to take her to he hospital and I agree but seeing what your saying.. I know your right, whats it going to prove - its not going to get her a diagnose I have to wait until Wed for her pediatrician. Shes so angry about me taking her to get tested but I cant stop it anymore- the state ( school district too) will test her either way the first week or two shes their with the way she is. Shes out of school options and its either she goes in quietly to get tested or the officials will drag her in to the courts and get her tested anyways.

She didnt go to school she claims because my dad wouldnt turn around and get her water bottle on the way to school. Thats no excuse not to go.. she never does her homework and still refuses to admit somethings wrong. But everyday she wants out or doesn't want to go. Shes been laying in bed all day .. I told her to clean her room she wants to sleep so she can be up all night (im not here nights my dad is ) so I cant watch her to make sure she stays off the computer.

 

[Confused]

I just cant do this alone anymore. EVERYDAY something with someone goes wrong.. now been trying over 2 hrs to get son ready- daughter wont go.. son copying daughter another reason I cant have her home because theres no way in the living world can I have him home schooled! Son destroyed his room, damaged the doors more,threw his clean school clothes on the floor screaming " these are dirty give me clean clothes now or ill ki%$ you you bit%^" I hate you k k k k k k k is all hes yelling... My kids are my life and I wasnt complete until I had them... now..

Bloody murder hes screaming and breaking things the story of my life I guess..

Looks like Ill be going to jail and court soon for both kids refusal not going to school. Theres no way no way no way... they can be at home all day too. No way. Well now I will have a jail record isnt this just nice

 

[Confused]

Im done and at my last ive had it. He has no destroyed the bathroom door stabbed a hole in the dog food food all over the floor, threw wet dog food cans all over the room .. pounding the window trying to break it, kicked me, ruined some food, destroyed his matteres just this morning

 

[InsaneCdn]

He is a risk to himself and others. Call police for transport to psychiatric hospital. He is out of control.

 

[Confused]

He calmed down after a bit. Some maybe good news.. I found a school that specializes in disorders and they do some basic testing, but if the kids need further testing she believes they can give us a referral. I told her ( on the phone) that I always heard of referrals from the pediatrician but I need an actual ref for actual testing and she says they can point me in the right directions even if my kids dont qualify for their school! Its very expensive but has great reviews so far! I wont say where cuz that will pin point me haha but.. I pray that person has help for me. Their program might work for my daughter. Calling for an appointment and looked up Psychologist and Neuro psychologist calling all of them today and in the morning and asking dr tomorrow for referral whoever says they will see them quickly and of course given insurance. I always get told Im getting to see someone to help them, but now I hope this time its true. Ill see it when they hand me that paper and their tests are done..