I have missed you. What do we do now?

[Copabanana]

Hello Everybody
Nandina just texted me to let me know she got on. She was wondering if it was a fluke.

I do not know how long the site will be running again. And who knows what will be coming next. It was heartbreaking to be unable to say goodbye. I felt like I lost part of my life. I have near 10000 posts here, over almost a decade. I wouldn't be who I am without this site.

I want to tell all of you how grateful I am for your support and tolerance and wisdom. Goodbye. Copa

 

[Nandina]

I agree. It has felt like a part of me is missing! I visit the site frequently and feel a friendship with many people here. I heard from Deni, our former administrator, who said she was unaware of the site going back online so she doesn’t know how long it will continue like this.

I would suggest people continue to check this site frequently to see if it is still up. And please continue to post. Some people are trying to come up with ideas for it to continue in possibly a different format because the owner has indicated interest in selling it and we don’t know how long it will continue in this format.

Just don’t give up! We need our CD!

Love, Nandina

 

[Nomad]

HI everyone! MIss and appreciate you all as well. Deni is still acting as Administrator. However, of course, when the site is down, there is little to nothing she can do except communicate with the owner and take it from there. Fingers crossed all works out well.

 

[LetGo]

Hello everyone...oh my goodness...I had just found you all recently and then suddenly, I could not get on the site! I am hoping this forum can be started in another way. I finally felt that I am amongst kindred spirits who truly understand what I have been dealing with. Here is hoping we can work something out...
LetGo adopted daughter, age 35, multiple diagnosis, in prison

 

[Nandina]

We’re glad you found us again, LetGo. I invite you to start a new post about your daughter and give us an update. There is a lot of experience here, even with the few people who have found their way back. And I’m sure more will follow as word gets around that the site is online once again. Welcome back!

 

[katya02]

Hi everyone, I just got the notification that the site has been down. I'm very sorry that there's difficulty keeping it running - it has been a lifesaver for so many of us over the years. If it stays down, I wish everyone the very best in future. And I hope it is possible to keep the site going. Such a valuable support is still very much needed.

Katya02

 

[LetGo]

We’re glad you found us again, LetGo. I invite you to start a new post about your daughter and give us an update. There is a lot of experience here, even with the few people who have found their way back. And I’m sure more will follow as word gets around that the site is online once again. Welcome back!

Thank you, Nandina!

 

[LetGo]

Hi Everyone, My adopted daughter , age 35, with multiple diagnosis, who continues to tug at my heartstrings but I have no contact with, that is best for me. In 2023 she had been charged with 2 counts of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon (without the intent to kill). She was put on probation for 18 months. She met with her PO for one month and then took off. She had been listed as a missing person with tik tok, facebook, etc posts from the police dept. Long story short, she faked her name, they tracked her down and she went to jail for violation of probation. When she went to court for her hearing she was sentenced to prison for 12 months, scheduled for possible release in spring 2025. She is still in reception being assessed, etc. so she has not yet been assigned to a place within the prison. Last picture that I saw of her, I believe she is pregnant but I am not sure of that now. I cannot imagine how this is going for her...sad to say, in some ways, I can see her reoffending when she gets out. How am I doing? Partly feeling really badly that I can't do anything for her, I am like the Devil's spawn in her opinion. Any letter or any type of contact would be greeted with nastiness. For a child that I gave my everything and love for...it just was not enough to care for her many issues.

 

[New Leaf]

I was sitting at my computer and thought "Iʻll give it another try" and was so surprised to be able to log on. I am so grateful for this site and all of the wonderful parents who share their journey, trials and challenges and hope. I so missed all of you! What to do? Like our dearest Copa, I have been here nearly 10 years and have received so much support and love. If this is to be my last post, please know how thankful I am to each and every one of you. I hope that the site can be saved, it is such a vital source of comfort and knowledge.
Hugs to all.
Nui ke Aloha
New Leaf

 

[Dad34]

Hi All, I’ve missed everyone here too, and was wondering what happened to the website, whether there was a problem with the server or it was hacked? I hope this isn’t goodbye because even though I only found this website a few months ago, I came to treasure it. It’s a place to share our nightmarish stories as parents of addicted children, with other parents who have experienced similar situations and who understand. Thank you everyone, and Godspeed. May this website stay up and running for a long time to come. Letgo, I’m praying for you and your situation.

 

[newstart]

I hope we can stay on. If not I send love to each of you for your wonderful support and care. This site has been a life saver for me. Things are still off and on with weird behavior and things that don't make sense with my daughter.. Things with her are just plain weird sometimes. I noticed in the last few years whenever I win an award she tells everyone her dad won the award or anything good happens to me she says it's her dad that it happened to. So weird. Other weird things too but this thread is about the possibility of the site closing down. I sure hope not. I hope all of you have been well.

 

[LetGo]

I was sitting at my computer and thought "Iʻll give it another try" and was so surprised to be able to log on. I am so grateful for this site and all of the wonderful parents who share their journey, trials and challenges and hope. I so missed all of you! What to do? Like our dearest Copa, I have been here nearly 10 years and have received so much support and love. If this is to be my last post, please know how thankful I am to each and every one of you. I hope that the site can be saved, it is such a vital source of comfort and knowledge.
Hugs to all.
Nui ke Aloha
New Leaf

Hi New Leaf, I kept trying also! I am so glad to have met those of you who have been here long before me. I so appreciate a place to go with others who "get it". Let's hope the site can be saved. Hugs, LetGo

 

[LetGo]

Hi All, I’ve missed everyone here too, and was wondering what happened to the website, whether there was a problem with the server or it was hacked? I hope this isn’t goodbye because even though I only found this website a few months ago, I came to treasure it. It’s a place to share our nightmarish stories as parents of addicted children, with other parents who have experienced similar situations and who understand. Thank you everyone, and Godspeed. May this website stay up and running for a long time to come. Letgo, I’m praying for you and your situation.

Hi Dad34, Thank you for your prayers. You put it so well, it has been a "nightmarish situation." I am somewhat a newbie here also and I am so grateful for everyone here. I find it to be a place of support and it gives me solace to be among those who understand.

 

[LetGo]

I hope we can stay on. If not I send love to each of you for your wonderful support and care. This site has been a life saver for me. Things are still off and on with weird behavior and things that don't make sense with my daughter.. Things with her are just plain weird sometimes. I noticed in the last few years whenever I win an award she tells everyone her dad won the award or anything good happens to me she says it's her dad that it happened to. So weird. Other weird things too but this thread is about the possibility of the site closing down. I sure hope not. I hope all of you have been well.

Hi NewStart, I am thinking of you and your daughter's behavior. It is hard to know what to make of this. Is she just trying to be annoying"? To deflect anything positive that happens to you, away from you? These children of ours can keep us guessing, for sure. I hope the site stays up as well.

 

[EthelCat]

Hi NewStart, I am thinking of you and your daughter's behavior. It is hard to know what to make of this. Is she just trying to be annoying"? To deflect anything positive that happens to you, away from you? These children of ours can keep us guessing, for sure. I hope the site stays up as well.

This website has saved my life and informed my choices. Please, please keep it going. If it ceases, will it be available to look at and read and scroll through anyway? Or will it simply disappear? It is the only place I have ever found in tne trauma of my children, now 18 and 22, and still problematic, that helps, where other parents have dealt with issues so difficult, violent, and sometimes repugnant, where it feels safe to share. I have not posted at all or much. The 3 page manifesto of boy satire, has been one lifesaver. I LOVE getting emails that there are new posts.
In short, because of the wisdom I’ve learned on this site, I moved. Sold my house, found a place to live with a middle aged roommate, like me. The kicker is, I’ve told no one my address. My kids don’t know where I live. My mother doesn’t know where I live. (They live with her and now the shitshow is there, to some degree). I feel safe. Like I’m not scared at night to go to sleep. Each kid has been violent or threatening to me at different points. My son bc mental ill was associated with THC vape/pot use, leading to schizo affective disorder, 3 5150s, and a ransacking of my house, and my daughter for bringing disrespectful friends over , one of whom plotted with her to kill me. Could have been angry teen talk. But who knows? I was t going to find out. There have been police calls, running away, scary nights. This site gave me the courage to put severe boundaries up. Most people don’t understand boundaries toward one’s kids. But here they do. I’m tired of being judged by the glossy, shiny, ordinary problems of the well heeled, college bound kids community I’m in. I don’t know what it takes to keep a site or message board like this going, or who owns it. It’s so valuable to me. And clearly to many others. There is no community like this I have ever found. Please, please keep it up. Or keep it as at least available to read or reread. -Ethel

 

[EthelCat]

This website has saved my life and informed my choices. Please, please keep it going. If it ceases, will it be available to look at and read and scroll through anyway? Or will it simply disappear? It is the only place I have ever found in tne trauma of my children, now 18 and 22, and still problematic, that helps, where other parents have dealt with issues so difficult, violent, and sometimes repugnant, where it feels safe to share. I have not posted at all or much. The 3 page manifesto of boy satire, has been one lifesaver. I LOVE getting emails that there are new posts.
In short, because of the wisdom I’ve learned on this site, I moved. Sold my house, found a place to live with a middle aged roommate, like me. The kicker is, I’ve told no one my address. My kids don’t know where I live. My mother doesn’t know where I live. (They live with her and now the shitshow is there, to some degree). I feel safe. Like I’m not scared at night to go to sleep. Each kid has been violent or threatening to me at different points. My son bc mental ill was associated with THC vape/pot use, leading to schizo affective disorder, 3 5150s, and a ransacking of my house, and my daughter for bringing disrespectful friends over , one of whom plotted with her to kill me. Could have been angry teen talk. But who knows? I was t going to find out. There have been police calls, running away, scary nights. This site gave me the courage to put severe boundaries up. Most people don’t understand boundaries toward one’s kids. But here they do. I’m tired of being judged by the glossy, shiny, ordinary problems of the well heeled, college bound kids community I’m in. I don’t know what it takes to keep a site or message board like this going, or who owns it. It’s so valuable to me. And clearly to many others. There is no community like this I have ever found. Please, please keep it up. Or keep it as at least available to read or reread. -Ethel

Not boy satire. Boundaries. I need to check what I write before posting. I’m referring to the post with the wisdom of not enabling, setting boundaries, and being okay. I forget what it is called. It’s probably the biggest takeaway from the site I’ve found.

 

[Beta]

Oh my goodness! I have been trying to get back on the site for weeks! And I just tried again, not expecting to be able to get on, and it worked! What has been going on?
I have missed all of you as well, and I hope the site can continue somehow. I was so sad to think I would not be able to check in with you all again and keep up with you. You all have been such a help to me over the last seven years.
If something happens, and it doesn't work out, I just wanted all of you to know that. I'll check back tomorrow. With love...

 

[Copabanana]

I hope the site can continue somehow.

Me too. Hi Beta!

 

[MommaTried24]

Hello Everybody
Nandina just texted me to let me know she got on. She was wondering if it was a fluke.

I do not know how long the site will be running again. And who knows what will be coming next. It was heartbreaking to be unable to say goodbye. I felt like I lost part of my life. I have near 10000 posts here, over almost a decade. I wouldn't be who I am without this site.

I want to tell all of you how grateful I am for your support and tolerance and wisdom. Goodbye. Copa

I thought this site was gone forever until I Googled for help with my son in jail again and this popped up! This has been my go to place for when I'm not doing good. I've missed being able to log on and not feel alone. I pray this site continues. I don't do well without it now. So grateful to have this kind of support and praying it lasts.

 

[LetGo]

This website has saved my life and informed my choices. Please, please keep it going. If it ceases, will it be available to look at and read and scroll through anyway? Or will it simply disappear? It is the only place I have ever found in tne trauma of my children, now 18 and 22, and still problematic, that helps, where other parents have dealt with issues so difficult, violent, and sometimes repugnant, where it feels safe to share. I have not posted at all or much. The 3 page manifesto of boy satire, has been one lifesaver. I LOVE getting emails that there are new posts.
In short, because of the wisdom I’ve learned on this site, I moved. Sold my house, found a place to live with a middle aged roommate, like me. The kicker is, I’ve told no one my address. My kids don’t know where I live. My mother doesn’t know where I live. (They live with her and now the shitshow is there, to some degree). I feel safe. Like I’m not scared at night to go to sleep. Each kid has been violent or threatening to me at different points. My son bc mental ill was associated with THC vape/pot use, leading to schizo affective disorder, 3 5150s, and a ransacking of my house, and my daughter for bringing disrespectful friends over , one of whom plotted with her to kill me. Could have been angry teen talk. But who knows? I was t going to find out. There have been police calls, running away, scary nights. This site gave me the courage to put severe boundaries up. Most people don’t understand boundaries toward one’s kids. But here they do. I’m tired of being judged by the glossy, shiny, ordinary problems of the well heeled, college bound kids community I’m in. I don’t know what it takes to keep a site or message board like this going, or who owns it. It’s so valuable to me. And clearly to many others. There is no community like this I have ever found. Please, please keep it up. Or keep it as at least available to read or reread. -Ethel

Hi EthelCat, you are so right in that others do not understand this level or kind of parenting. I have also set up severe boundaries. I moved and my daughter has never been to where I live for over 13 years. I would not feel safe if I thought she knew where I am. I am relieved that she is over 1,000 miles away from me but unfortunately, she is in prison as a result of her choices and actions. I am sorry for the violence and threats that you have gone through. You deserve to be safe and to not be afraid to go to sleep. I agree that this site is a lifesaver. I feel it is the one place that I can "unburden" my heart aches and others will understand. LetGo