I have the worst news ever. He’s deceased.

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by lovemyson1, Nov 12, 2019.

  1. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry Lovemyson, no words can express such a deep loss. Sending up prayers and gentle hugs.
    Leaf
     
  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so, so sorry.
     
  3. Helpless29

    Helpless29 Member

    I am so sorry. You will be in my prayers. My heart breaks for you .
     
  4. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    I haven’t been on the forums in a long time but had heard this devastating news and wanted to reach out with my condolences. I am so very sorry for this tragic loss and am thinking of you in this horrible time. So so sorry.
     
  5. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    I am so sorry for your loss.
     
  6. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    What I need is some explanation for why he would ever use again. Why!? He was at the top of his game in life. Someone please explain to me why he would use again.
     
  7. BusynMember

    BusynMember Active Member

    I am so sorry about this tragedy. So sad. So awful.

    My friend is an addict, thirty years clean. He explains that once you are an addict, t follows you your whole life. He is very active in Nar Anon. He has seen plenty stop for periods of time then have one drink, one joint and fully relapse.

    Your son maybe had a drink which set it off. He did not think the one drink would affect him. It did.

    Of course that is just a guess. We never know. But it was not in any way your fault and he is with God now. And I still believe he is with you. Do you ever feel him? Dream vividly of him? I don't believe they ever leave us, not really.

    My prayers are with you. He did more good in his years than many ever do.

    I am so sorry this happened. My heart aches for your loss.
     
  8. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I think it was the addiction that used again. I don't think the son you know and love made the choice.

    I think that's why the AA and NA people have the principle about powerlessness over the addictive substance. That really we have no power over an addiction. We will succumb and succumb until we have the tools to no longer do so. To the extent that your son consented, I agree with Busy, that either at first he had a drink which lowered his defenses, or else he gave himself an excuse to rationalize his use. He told himself, maybe, just this once. I don't think any consequence ever entered his head. That is the nature of addiction.

    I am so very sorry lovemyson. My heart, too, aches for you.

    And I think young people in general often don't think about consequences.
     
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  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. I haven't been here in a while and just saw this. My heart aches for you greatly. (((((hugs)))))
     
  10. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your grieving heart Lovemyson. I can only imagine how difficult it is to celebrate your sons recovery, see him rise above his addiction, then succumb to using, and passing. It is a horrible, senseless loss. Addiction is a terrible monster on our wayward children’s backs. I don’t know if any answer will soothe the heartache you feel. My heart goes out to yours as you go through this tough and heart wrenching time. It is a living nightmare none of us should have to endure. Please know you are not alone and reach out whenever you are able. I have no answers for you, just deep sadness for your loss and hopes that you are surrounded with love and support.
    Gentle hugs,
    New Leaf
     
  11. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    I don’t know if there is any explanation, lovemyson1. I too believe your son did not make the choice to use again with any thought of the potential outcome.

    It is the nature of addiction to think “I can handle it, just this once” and the obsession to use is utterly without thought for the possible consequences, as others have said.

    I have often wondered if addiction is Evil’s way of trying to prevent some of our best and brightest from shining their bright light. Your son showed tremendous strength in so many facets of his life. It truly is so very tragic. I’m so sorry.
     
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  12. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    Thank you all. You’ve been through all of it with me. I’m just so devastated. I agree with your comments but it’s just so hard to accept. Hugs.
     
  13. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, lovemyson1.

    Total shock.

    Devastating.

    I’m so sorry.
     
  14. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    My good friend lost her son to heroin in July of this year also.

    He had been clean for only six months - so not as long as your son - but he was doing very well. Loved his group, had a job he liked and was due for his 90 day raise. Had reconnected with his father (parents are divorced) and had moved back in with my friend (his mom) and she would drive him to work and back daily and they were reconnecting. He was truly sorry for all the pain he had caused her, ruined her credit etc. He did not know.

    He would have a few beers on occasion but wasn't much of a drinker she said. Was going to a party. She begged him to stay home with her that night and watch a movie. He said "I'll be alright, mom". He overdosed later that night. She replays it over and over in her head. I have not been able to get in touch with her the past week. I'm sure the holidays are hard for her as I'm sure they will be for you.

    It's a senseless and tragic loss but we are only loving mothers and we do not control the universe. It could happen to any of us.

    Someday we will be together again with our loved ones. God's will.

    Hugs and prayers for peace for you and all of us here.
     
  15. JMom

    JMom Active Member

    Lovemyson1,

    I am deeply saddened for the loss that you have experienced. I am praying for you and your family. Indeed, he did go out as a hero.

    ((Hugs))
     
  16. beebz

    beebz Member

    You, and your son, in spite of his earthly absence, are in my thoughts, in my heart, in my soul today and everyday. ~hugs~