I Love and Hate my Herion addict daughter. Torn heart

[Childofmine]

Whatwentwrong, welcome. I am so sorry for your pain. It is very familiar and I so understand.

Please start trying Al-Anon for yourself and your husband. Go at least six times until you decide whether or not it is for you.

Al-Anon has saved my life. It is the most wonderful way to live---letting go of other people and what they do/don't do, detachment with love, acceptance, living in today, finding peace and serenity no matter what is going on around you.

Al-Anon helps me with every aspect of my life, and even though my son is doing much better right now, I go every single week. I have been working the program seriously for the past five years.

It is free, it is accessible and the people there have been through the same things we have been through. There is respect and trust and caring. We all need that when we are in these types of times.

Keep posting here. We get it and we care.

 

[Nancy]

WWW (I gave your name a shortcut lol) D.O.C. means drug of choice. Here is a link to many of our acronyms: http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/board-abbreviations-acronyms.8/#axzz3XDW0JBt5

Scroll down to the last entry by runawaybunny since many of our terms have been changed.

I went through many of the same things you did, dropping out(or really getting kicked out) of college, legal troubles, losing jobs/friends, running away, living in drug houses, rehab, etc. etc. We did finally have to kick her out of our house also. It hurt something awful, I couldn't even go to the grocery store without crying and I hid from all our neighbors and friends.

You will be OK. Families Anonymous was a great support for me. We are a friendly bunch here and we all know what you are going through. Little by little you will find it easier to get through the day.

 

[blackgnat]

Hi there! I am a poster here, but usually just on Parents Emeritus, though God knows I should be on here too and I plan to be...

I just want to acknowledge the depth of pain and sorrow you must be going through-when I have been in these dark places, I think, "WHAT THE HELL ELSE IS COMING DOWN THE PIKE??? ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" I can only imagine that you feel helpless, overwhelmed and alone. But as you can see as you read these boards, we are all going through some incredible (not in a good way) sh*t. And here we all are, surviving! Wobbly as hell and scared and confused and crazed...but still here.

This website has been my lifeline on innumerable occasions and I hope it will be the same for you. Thoughts and prayers are with you...

 

[SadMominTx]

I can only imagine what you are going through and I'm sorry. My son is 23 and his girlfriend died after trying heroin for the first time. My son had broken up with her and 3 months later she hooked up with some guy who got her to try heroin. She was addicted to "bars" (Xanax} and I guess decided to try something stronger. This girl was 19, was in her freshman year at Rice U studying biochemistry. Extremely smart girl, very pretty, came from wealthy family (dad is a well known doctor). My son was not surprised when he heard of her death. He said she was extreme in everything she did from studying to partying. I just can't believe heroin is making the rounds these days. I still think of it as a drug that only hard core junkies use. Unfortunately it's made it's way to the 20 something scene and these kids are just clueless as to how dangerous and strong heroin, meth, crack, molly and all the other stuff out there is. I hope your daughter can get help soon. God bless.

 

[Copabanana]

Hi WhatWentWrong.

I am a older than many of you. One benefit to that is to have a long view of things. I am from the hippy generation. We had drugs, too. But chemically, they were much more benign, I think. Destructive, but nothing like now.

Extremely smart girl, very pretty, came from wealthy family (dad is a well known doctor). My son was not surprised when he heard of her death. He said she was extreme in everything she did from studying to partying.

Good kids, from great families don't know what hit them. A little youthful rebellion, a desire for escape...and they become addicts.

Such pain for everybody. And for what?

Sometimes I think the solutions may be political. If all of our kids are at such risk, why is there not more effective drug enforcement?

And there is the issue of social class. It seems that the rich kids are vulnerable because there is too much, too soon, including too much freedom, and the poorer and working class kids, because there is not enough opportunity. Or assistance. Or access.

We are all in this together. Maybe that is the message. Like here on the board.

But I see sadness in him. Almost like a reflection of myself.

This makes me sad and it hits home. I have spent way too long consumed by sad things over which I have had no control and were not my fault. Is it not enough, and time, to be happy?

It seems to this observer that you have done and are doing everything right.

I am glad that you are here with us now. Keep posting.

We all, I think, need one another.

Take care.

 

[comatheart]

As many have said, you did the right thing. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, tell my son he can't live here and drop him off at the homeless shelter. But you are not alone!!!! Just knowing that gave me great peace. I have personally gotten a lot out of alanon. It's made me a better person overall, not just in my dealings with my son. I also found a local support group for parents of addicts and they are an amazing support. Read books, if that's your thing and share, share, share. Sharing about our struggle (cause hes's not the only one struggling here, it's affected the whole family) was freeing for me. *hugs*