Copa....catching up on this thread. Thinking of you my friend. It is so hard. One thing I thought of that was said to me years ago to me about my son when I was thinking what could I have done differently. A therapist told me that we were a protective factor.....that without us he probably would have been much worse off much sooner. I think that is true of your son too. I know he is homeless, I know things are not great, I know he has many challenges. I think all those things are true, and none of those are your fault or are due to anything you did or due to any denial on your part. I do think your love of him has made a difference. A difference that is hard to see... because it is hard to see the ways it has protected him, since it could not protect him completely because that was not possible. But he is still alive and finding ways to survivie. So do believe your love of him has made a differemce.