Letters

[Lil]

I can’t imagine living in the conditions she does.

I sometimes think of the "voluntarily homeless" - those would rather be shiftless and steal or drug and sleep on the streets than be clean and industrious and work and live in a decent home - as being much like hoarders. You see people who literally live in filth, without utilities and with so much stuff they can't find, much less use, the kitchen and bathroom or the pet cat that died in the next room, and you wonder, WHY? Why live that way? HOW can they stand it?

But to them, it's just regular life.

I think maybe sometimes they just get so used to the life they live that they don't see any reason to change. But, like the hoarders who get help and end up having their house cleaned and starting over, those people can choose to clean up their act and start living a "typical" life, with a job and possessions and a roof over their heads.

There are success stories, even from drugs and homelessness.

Your girls are in my prayers Leafy, as are you.

 

[BusynMember]

As a future winter RVer, called snowbird, I have looked up people who travel and live in cars, vans, RVs and tents, some on purpose, some because its very cost effective and can be exciting and the people you meet tend to be friendly. Campfires every night, everyone shares, etc .

Some build tents on slab cities abd never plan to leave. They know where to get food and supplies...some live on SSI. They obviously figure out where to go potty, where to bathe, etc. I am sure many know when Grocery Store throws out its food and they take it. I have looked up dumpster diving out of curiousity.. Its interesting. I wouldnt choose it, but I would do it if I had to. The thing is, our adults dont have to. They want to.

I kind of look at this, after lots of youtuve videos, as permanant dry camping. I wouldnt like it, but some do. Everyone is accepted there. Maybe that is part of it. You dont have to follow societys rules or be "normal" to be part of the "family." Some people are fine with this lifestyle. I am not quite that adventurous.

 

[Littleboylost]

Came home to find correspondence from Tornado. Written on pieces of scrap, brown toilet paper wrapping, backside of laundry ticket, phone instruction, etc.
It seems there is no stationary in jail.
She quoted a bible verse about love. Wrote about being duped with “given a stolen moped.” Couldn’t provide a first and last name of the guy that gave it to her so the “CRU” arrested her. Said the judge refused her request for supervised release. Asked me to contact her public defender and try to make this all go by “faster, so I can get out and get back to a normal lifestyle so I can properly take care of myself and my kids.” Thanked me for paying for calls. Asked for photos and.....40$ for “chocolate, shampoo and conditioner.” Also wanted our names and social security numbers for visits.
That sounded odd to me. I would not give anyone my SS number, especially someone in jail. Okay, maybe authorities, but not an inmate. 40$? Things must be expensive in jail. How does that work? Do inmates use that stuff to trade for drugs?
Sorry, I have no clue about this.
Her writing is almost manic sounding.
Words. Mean. Nothing.
We shall see what the weekend brings.
Phone calls.
I have not written to her yet, but will reply when I have time.
I am glad she is reading the Bible.
Perhaps she will find herself.
For now, I know it is too early.
One can hope.
It is her journey and up to her.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy

Hi Leafy my life has been crazy fast paced I am trying my best to keep up with my kinfolk here.
We have Evan no money not a thing. They can trade commissary for drugs. I know Jail is different here in Canada. Here they get all the toiletries they need and Two lots of paper and stamps with envelopes a week to be able to write letters. There is a way to set up third party jail calls so they are not so expensive (should T be sentenced and do time this may be important to look into).
As for the SS number exactly forget that.
Hang in there Leafy. Sending much love to feed your spirit. I will give a coles note version of my life update soon.

 

[BusynMember]

Oh please LBL! Give us a hopefully good update on your son's journey and your own!

 

[New Leaf]

Hi all. No word on Tornado, she did not try to call me this weekend so we are back to square one, just wondering what’s up and praying for a pivot point.

There are success stories, even from drugs and homelessness.

Your girls are in my prayers Leafy, as are you.

Thank you Lil, I so much appreciate your prayers.

The thing is, our adults dont have to. They want to.

Rent here is sky high. A lot of it has to do with the explosion of AirB@B rentals flooding the inventory. I can see how some folks end up houseless, all it takes is illness, bills piling up and missed payments. There are places that rent rooms, even small rooms go for upwards of $700 monthly.
I think the analogy with hoarders is spot on. It becomes a normal way of living for them. It seems that the homeless have their own communities and territories for their dumpster diving. Listening to Rain awhile back, she had a schedule she stuck to for her rounds, before anyone else got there. It was in a sense, like a job.
Reminds me of hobos back in the day. Drifters. I don’t know if she even thinks about all of the work she does to remain status quo. The city has random raids on parks and throws everything away. I don’t even know if she has her ID, ss card, health insurance. I have heard that there are outreach workers who try to help get folks back on their feet. Hopefully one day soon she will tire of living this way. I have stopped asking her about it when I see her. It is a dead end conversation.

There is a way to set up third party jail calls so they are not so expensive (should T be sentenced and do time this may be important to look into).

Thank you LBL for sharing your experience. I feel the same way about money in her account. She will just use it to trade.

Hang in there Leafy. Sending much love to feed your spirit. I will give a coles note version of my life update soon.

Thank you LBL for taking the time to post. I send back love and thank you for your support. I will look for your post. It is always good to see progress and hope for our beloveds.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy

 

[Lil]

I can see how some folks end up houseless, all it takes is illness, bills piling up and missed payments.

Those are the people who I would consider "involuntarily homeless." They didn't choose to live like that and don't want to. They are more likely to try to get out of the life. I'd consider our kids voluntarily homeless. They could have a roof over their heads - I don't think any of us would tell clean, hard-working, non-drugging kids to leave our homes. But, they choose a life that makes that impossible.

 

[New Leaf]

- I don't think any of us would tell clean, hard-working, non-drugging kids to leave our homes. But, they choose a life that makes that impossible.

This is true. I have my daughter with me, they are struggling to make ends meet but do not use drugs and try as best can to contribute. That is a big difference. My two are out there because their focus is on drugs. They have made their drug using street friends family. We are held with contempt because we won’t house them, which basically funds their drug use. It is a vicious cycle. I hope they are able to escape the grip, but I do fear that the longer they live this way, the harder it will be. It is a whole different world out there.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy

 

[Snow White]

Leafy - I can only imagine you sitting on the outside, just waiting to make sure your girls survive another day. It is so hard. They would love to have a room/house paid for, food supply and everything else we go to work for each day. Mine is a user also - sometimes she's using drugs/alcohol and other times she is using people to get what she wants. The more she finds she can get, the more she stays in the "routine". So much harder to do things the legal and right way. And they have no fear.

I can relate to the homeless/hoarder analogies, as we tried to also rescue a good friend who was a hoarder. She went from a cluttered but health-passable rental home to living hours in the country in what can only be described as a "shack". We took her in when she was evicted and after 10 months, she couldn't make any forward progress with her hoarded items or work prospects. Her answer is always, "That's the way I am."

I read through your earlier posts on this thread and am sad that T would be trying to use your SSN. Definitely a BIG red flag.

But I did see the one positive:

I have my daughter with me, they are struggling to make ends meet but do not use drugs and try as best can to contribute. That is a big difference.

That is what most of our lives are about. And they are doing it.

Hugs to you (always)

 

[Jabberwockey]

They would love to have a room/house paid for, food supply and everything else we go to work for each day.

, I'd love to have that!!!! We're just mature enough to realize that no matter how badly adulting might suck, its a necessary part of the lifestyle WE chose to live.

Stupid auto correct changed adulting to adulating!

 

[newstart]

Came home to find correspondence from Tornado. Written on pieces of scrap, brown toilet paper wrapping, backside of laundry ticket, phone instruction, etc.
It seems there is no stationary in jail.
She quoted a bible verse about love. Wrote about being duped with “given a stolen moped.” Couldn’t provide a first and last name of the guy that gave it to her so the “CRU” arrested her. Said the judge refused her request for supervised release. Asked me to contact her public defender and try to make this all go by “faster, so I can get out and get back to a normal lifestyle so I can properly take care of myself and my kids.” Thanked me for paying for calls. Asked for photos and.....40$ for “chocolate, shampoo and conditioner.” Also wanted our names and social security numbers for visits.
That sounded odd to me. I would not give anyone my SS number, especially someone in jail. Okay, maybe authorities, but not an inmate. 40$? Things must be expensive in jail. How does that work? Do inmates use that stuff to trade for drugs?
Sorry, I have no clue about this.
Her writing is almost manic sounding.
Words. Mean. Nothing.
We shall see what the weekend brings.
Phone calls.
I have not written to her yet, but will reply when I have time.
I am glad she is reading the Bible.
Perhaps she will find herself.
For now, I know it is too early.
One can hope.
It is her journey and up to her.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy

Leafy, I am so sorry to hear all this about your daughter being in jail. I agree with everyone about not putting money in her account. I know this is a hard call and your have to listen to your intuition. I pray for your peace.

 

[New Leaf]

They would love to have a room/house paid for, food supply and everything else we go to work for each day. Mine is a user also - sometimes she's using drugs/alcohol and other times she is using people to get what she wants. The more she finds she can get, the more she stays in the "routine". So much harder to do things the legal and right way. And they have no fear.

This became evident each time we took them in to try to help them. They helped themselves alright, to our food, lodging, stole from us and denied it, slept all day feigning illness, then would disappear into the night.
No fear. It is true.
Tough and hardened. Re put it correctly, “feral living”.

That is what most of our lives are about. And they are doing it.

I am thankful to have two adult children who are making good choices, my son is still in high school and planning for his future. Hopefully he will stay on track, so far, his wayward sisters have shown him what he doesn’t want for his life.

We're just mature enough to realize that no matter how badly adulting might suck, its a necessary part of the lifestyle WE chose to live.

No trust fund baby here, I have had to work for a living and am thankful for what I have. I must say, I am counting down the years to retirement.

Leafy, I am so sorry to hear all this about your daughter being in jail. I agree with everyone about not putting money in her account. I know this is a hard call and your have to listen to your intuition. I pray for your peace.

Newstart, I think jail is a Godsend. Even her homeless sister feels this way, that is a big picture of how far off the charts she has gone out there on the streets.
No money for sure. I don’t want to fund her habits in jail.
Thank you so much for your support and prayers.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy