When your loved ones were drinking/drug use, did they twist your words around? Did they threaten to take their lives all the time? Did they tell you you were horrible and that you did this to them?
All we ever did was try to help. Now I get that I can't be trusted, etc.
Drugs do horrible things to people. I can never say the right things to my two. I feel that deep down inside they know they are making bad choices, but the drug addiction gnaws at them more than their conscience. It is easier to blame it all on us. Then, they don’t have to look at themselves.
Mine haven’t threatened to take their own lives outright, but have dropped subtle innuendos that play on my fears.
As far as mental illness goes, my two have been using for so long, escalating to meth, which I have read causes psychosis and schizophrenic mimicking side effects.
Mine have loomed over me in threatening postures, sworn at me, stolen from me. No apologies or remorse, just more of the same. Rain called the other day saying she was coming over, never did. Tornado, I have not seen or heard from.
I think they cling to like minded addicts and reject “normal” people who work and are self sufficient. The world they are living in is their own perspective and reality.
As long as I don’t house them and enable them, I am the enemy.
It is hard to live through and witness, but this is what is, for me.
I have decided that I will no longer be their target, nor should I see myself through their drug hazed eyes. I still hope and pray that they will wake up and find their true potential, but honestly, how much can a brain endure before damage is irreversible?
Sigh.
Trying, You did the best job you could raising your son.
They grow up and choose how to live.
It is painfully sad, a waste of life and health.
I am sorry for the ache of this.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy
