My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help

[BusynMember]

Sorry, Ander. I dobt know who you are or if you have kids, but you cant love a child to wellness, especially a mentally ill adult that wont get professional help.

I have suffered depression badly most of my young years but I kept trying hard to help myself. Love does not cure clinical depression. Getting the right intervention medically helps. I'm in a good place today because I accepted help. And worked hard to change my negative thinking. it does require time and effort and desire to become well.

If people don't come to this forum, but seek out professionals, they will also be told that we can not legally do anything to force a mentally ill person to get help and likely we will be told that we can't do anything to force it. So we love them still, but it is only one person who can help anyone...the person himself. So we dont continue involvement in the outcome. It has nothing to do with us.

Nobody can give up or not give up on somebody else. It us impossible. Giving up is strictly on the sick person. Only they can either stop trying or forge ahead, Others dont have the ability to give up on somebody else...this is like saying we can force somebody else to lose weight. Sometimes the more we nag, the less they do. Only they decide whether to give up or try.

it appears to me that perhaps, and this is common, that you may not understand clinical depression. At all. It is a medical chemical difference in the brain requiring medical attention. It takes hard work to get better and a willingness to seek out appropriate help. Therefore outsiders, such as parents, do not have control. The depressed person is in control and Id back off too if a grown child of mine refused to get medical help for a medical brain disorder.

Depression is not a willful state of sadness. It is a treatable illness. Ander, I dont believe you understand thst these are ADULT children or that depression is not simple. I hope you never have to learn about it.

 

[Tyler]

I feel I am qualified to answer this question after having been through the psychiatric run-around for the last 7 years, been in inpatient over 15 times, and have been on every single drug that has come on the market. Now I'm drug free and better than ever.

The advice given to OP on this thread is downright dangerous, both to her and to her son. People with major depression need serious help. Thinking it is a life choice is beyond ignorance. Thinking that being hard on them will make them wake up and suddenly get better is one of the most incompetent things I have ever heard. Here we have a case of the stupid leading the beggars. You can't always take the advice of others, because like most things in life, you get what you pay for (free advice = dogshit).

Clinical depression makes a person not want something. They are dead inside. To the person who said the OP's son is doing these things because he "wants to" needs to never post here again. The chemical imbalance theory is just that: a theory. In my mind, it is the biggest crock of to hit the mental health world, right up there with frontal lobotomies. Drugs are handed out like candy when what we really need is to get down to the basics. I'm going to tell you what they are:

1. Everybody is different. Some people have strengths others don't have, and everyone has a different personality. Some people are far more intelligent than the rest of the population, and others are borderline retarded. Thinking pills are going to help everyone is ridiculous. The human brain is so complex we cannot even begin to understand it, yet we have doctors who make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year (pushing pills) who believe they are the authority on the subject. How asinine. The worst are the forum posters who think they know something they don't, and routinely give bad advice from their soap box. News flash, nobody gives a what you have to say, so stop saying it.
2. Clinical depression is, more likely than not for your son, a broken soul. He is either in a toxic environment, around toxic people, or has given up from being in a state of despair and hopelessness at something going on in his life. One does not just shut down without some sort of event taking place. We can train rats to become hopeless through regular torture. Does that mean they suddenly acquire a chemical imbalance? There is much more to depression than what pharma and quacksters would have you believe. I would be willing to bet that your child is highly intelligent, if not gifted.
3. The last thing a person with this level of crippling depression needs is someone abandoning him. Being hard on him will make him feel even worse. Have you not figured out by now that he is unable to just snap out of it? Why don't you take a problem solving approach and figure out what is wrong with him.

Oh wait, you already do. He feels like his life is over. He has given up. Do you really think being tough on him to get his act together will solve anything? Will that suddenly make him realize life again? Do you see how that doesn't make any sense at all?

Why don't you sit down with him for 10 minutes and ask him what is REALLY on his mind. Chances are he'll be too depressed to talk about it. People with this level of pain need to have others around them that recognize what they are going through. Sometimes you need someone to see how bad you look, rather than have someone continuously ask you how you feel. It's black and white.

Chances are he's broken and going through an identity crisis. His mind is shutting down due to complete inability to figure out himself or where is place in the world is. Do you think beating him down further will solve the problem? Do you think stressing him out over what he's going to do with his life will solve anything? Maybe all he needs is another 6 months to a year to chill the out, become stress free, and then figure out what it is that he wants to do.

Had I taken the well needed 6 month to 1 year break that I needed, I wouldn't be in the position that I am in today. Instead, I listened to the "professionals" and my family tell me what they think they know. Bottom line is the drugs don't work, and he's right not to take them. Nobody in their right mind would. I wish I NEVER went down that path, and trusted my gut. My gut was telling me I needed to calm down, and the world kept pressuring me to do things I did not want to do. I eventually snapped (as any sane person would).

Had I listened to myself and wallowed around for a year, I would have rested, recharged, and eventually made it out of there, ready to take on the world.

Sometimes all we need is a recharge. You throwing him the hell out is setting him up for years of abuse. Why don't you be a good ing parent and treat your son as you would want to be treated in that situation, and treat your son with the love, respect, and kindness that he deserves? If I had a child I would be there for my son. This "tough love" crap comes from parents who are either too ignorant or too incompetent to do things the right way. Me, me, me, me, me. The level of narcissism from parents who are supposed to be there for their children is astounding. Baby boomers need to really get the out of the way.

I would go into debt for my son. I would kill or be killed for my son. Where are all these "great" parents coming from who are ready to throw their child out on the street? You said it yourself, he was a VERY good kid. Why are you abandoning him all of a sudden? He falls from grace and you feed him to the wolves. It wasn't like he was a bag that didn't get his act together. Why don't you try listening to him and stop force feeding him this stupid medication. People like you make me sick.

 

[Childofmine]

Hi Tyler, and welcome to the forum.

We welcome all points of view here that are respectful of all views. You make some good points in your post.

Please take a look at our guidelines:

http://www.conductdisorders.com/com...orum-updated-august-2015.60921/#axzz4EZF8zDQB

Every situation is different. We are all speaking from experience, and all of our experiences are different, and all have been very hard, and we've learned tough lessons over many years.

Our position is this: we offer support, encouragement and ideas/advice/options. Every person has the option to "take what they like and leave the rest." We realize every experience doesn't fit every situation, but we all look for truth in each person's experience and try to apply that truth, if applicable, to our own experience.

Being respectful of all views will go a long way on this forum. We welcome you and respect your experience.

 

[BusynMember]

Tyler, you are obviously young. Probably no kids or young kids. I have grown kids and have suffered from depression and anxiety all my life. I know that even if you spend very dime on an adult child, and many of us have, and if that child wont get help, the money won't do any good. Depression is not just about needing a time out, I wish!! If it is clinical depression usually it requires medical attention and depression has been proven to get worse with inactivity.

I've been in three psychiatric hospitals and you are not allowed to lay around BECAUSE it makes you worse. You must dress in street clothes, participate in activities and therapy and socialize. Your entire day is planned. I am much better now, but I had to do the hard work. Parents cant make depression go away, but they can push their adult kids to get help or to find their paths on their own. Mine did. I am grateful.

Please dont diagnose us. You probably are not a professional capable of spotting narcissism. Yes, I known this is the new word for " person whom I feel is not doing it my way," The word will be gone in five years, replaced by another one.

We are all loving parents who are doing our best. Our children are adults. You cant parent a 23 year old the same as an 8 year old. Many of our adult kids are drug users and criminals. Many have been in apartments and rehabs on our dogs mes with no results. At some point we have to pull back and let them do it. whether you think so or not. That is thrle afvice ptofesdionals give. Are they slso N. because you don like what they advise?

As for listening, we do. Often it feels like they dont listen back. A conversation is two ways.

Anyhow, just saying...you know nothing about us or what we have been through or what we have done for our adult children. Have a good day and post again but please try not to name call. We dont do that here.

 

[A dad]

Better said we are humans also we all understand that sometimes they need time to get the will to help themselves and it happens but sometime we are the crutch that keeps them that way and the best way is to remove the crutch. Do not forget depressed people do not want to get help and in USA there is no such thing as forced treatment if you are out of North America there is such a thing but most parents on this forum really have little choices.

 

[rebelson]

Hello friends. I am having a very difficult time coping tonight. My 21 yr old difficult child son recently moved 2 states away to the state we used to live in, and where he went to high school. This was supposed to be the move that would finally improve things for him. He tried living with me, then my parents, burned that bridge, moved back with me. Fast forward 2 years of therapists, never a clear diagnosis since he would not share anything with doctors, but he deteriorated into a paranoid zombie in my home and I finally realized I was enabling him, since he wouldn't get a job, constantly said life wasn't worth living, etc..

It was a living nightmare, I have other posts I have written about the journey. I finally had to tell him to leave. He lived on the streets a short time, then that is when he decided to move back to be with his good friends whom he hasn't seen in years. He seemed hopeful, as did I. I remember giving him a huge hug at the bus station where I dropped him off, wondering if/when I'd see him again. I visualized him driving away with God hovering overhead.

That was 2 months ago. I have rarely heard from him. He never responds to texts, doesn't even reply to my mom's emails or texts either. However, since I am still paying his cell phone bill and can see his activity, have found some strange comfort in at least seeing he is still alive. It is so unhealthy and obsessive, but I check it each day to make sure there is still signs of life. The few times he had replied back to my text, he only sounded worse and worse, saying hes still not in his right mind. He is staying with a kind family that I remember when we lived there. They loved him growing up, as their son was my son's best friend.

So the past couple of months, I have struggled with detaching from him, reading all the advice on this board, and praying that God will watch over him and guide him. Perhaps I lied to myself each morning, saying he was okay, so that I could function each day. Sadly, my parents and I don't have much to talk about, since we used to talk daily only about my difficult child's issues and problems and what to do next, and giving each other full reports when he was either here or at their house. Since difficult child moved away, it's like we don't have anything else to talk about anymore. That's another sad thing, but not what's worrying me now.

I received an email from my mom asking if I'd heard from difficult child and how frantic she is on a daily basis (she worries more than I do, if that's humanly possible), so her email got me all upset thinking about him all over again. I even told myself I could not allow myself to cry because I have a big meeting at work tomorrow and I need to be at my best. So I told her I hadn't heard from him but I would try texting again, which I did. I wish I had not because he replied and realized my worst fears. I asked him if he was still living with the friend's family and he said "not much longer" and then he started calling himself a schizophrenic and how schizos cannot hold jobs or have normal relationships. I asked him where he would be living then, and he said he would go into the woods and went on to say there's no turning back from all the relationships he has ruined and he has become more dissociative. he was speaking intelligently about how he feels he is schizo, and I believe he has some of that, paranoia, unable to be around people the past 2 years. I was getting more and more upset and felt the tears coming but tried to keep it together because I can't miss work tomorrow. So then he asked me to stop paying his cell phone bill, he said "the sooner the better". He said he wants no contact with the world.

Finally, I had to ask him "Are you having thoughts of harming yourself" and he said "I'm having thoughts of leaving this *ucked up place, yes". And went on to say he can't wait to spit in God's face. I was horrified, as I am a very religious person and he always was also, reading the bible, etc...

I could feel the sense of failure in his words in the text message. He has talked like this before when he lived with me. Every day when I would come home from work, I never knew what I would find waiting for me. It was daily torture. But now it's even worse, he's so far away. Well, I don't know which is worse. When I told him that if he was feeling that desperate, I would have to bring him home or get him help immediately. Then he said "good luck". He's so angry, perhaps because I kicked him out, or it's the mental illness. I don't know what to do.

I ended up crying my eyes out, so now they will be so red and puffy in the morning, but I've had to deal with the looks at work before. My main concern is my son and not knowing how to handle this. I don't even have the address of where he is. Part of me thinks he could just be so angry and saying those things to hurt me, as he obviously holds resentment towards me, although he has said he does not. But I know how he was when he was here, he clearly has something very wrong with him, mentally or psychologically. He used to tell me he thought he was a psychopath, and to an extent I believed him because he was manipulative and lazy, but also genuinely something mentally wrong with him. He used to be a easy child until the last year of high school, then I don't know what the hell happened. He said he experimented with mushrooms and other mind altering drugs, and I have to come to think they did damage to his still developing brain. He has never been the same since. Only gotten worse and now hates people, God and wants to live in the woods.

It's just the suicidal threats that are making me go insane with worry. Even though I should be used to worrying about that since I dealt with it daily when he lived with me. What a fool I have been the past couple of months, pretending he was in a better place with his good friends and just needed his independence. I was so very hopeful, as were my parents. And only to find out it is the same situation, just a different house. I feel he is in a very desperate state, as he always felt going back "home" to his friends, his roots would be the solution to his darkness. He always said that if he couldn't make it back there, then he couldn't make it anywhere. So I'm sure he is feeling like a complete failure now. With no where else to go. And feels he has ruined everything with everyone else, including his family, which I have told him he hasn't, that we love him and will help him in any way, but he needs to WANT the help.

Do something normal with him, not necessarily normal for you but normal for your kids - if you know them well enough to know what that is. If you don't, than i feel sorry for your kid and he 'DEFINITELY has a higher IQ than you and anyone who may be helping you. Sorry for the harshness, but you guys are being harsh behind your kids back. Doesn't that pain you a bit? cause it does to me.

Where are all these "great" parents coming from who are ready to throw their child out on the street? You said it yourself, he was a VERY good kid. Why are you abandoning him all of a sudden? He falls from grace and you feed him to the wolves. It wasn't like he was a bag that didn't get his act together. Why don't you try listening to him and stop force feeding him this stupid medication. People like you make me sick.

Who the heck are these 2 ppl? Trolls? How dare someone, who is not even a parent, come on here and judge. People like us make you sick? Wow. Unless you've walked in someone's shoes, go away with this cr*p.

The 1st quote on this (my) comment, is from WaveringFaith. Her very 1st CD post (not the one above) is how, months ago, I found this site, after a google search.

Since 'Thissiteishopeless' and 'Tyler' have resurrected it, I noticed that Wavering hasn't posted since the day (9/2014) she started her last thread, which is quoted above.

Her comment above, and the ones to follow on that same day, is one that very much concerns me. She was talking of her suicidal son, 2 states away...and then she never posted again after that night. I truly hope that he is ok and that she is ok. I have messaged her to reach out. But, it is worrisome to me, that she posts this ^^^^ and then never again.

Tyler's critical and judgmental comment gave me a sick feeling. Ugh. Hopefully WaveringFaith will not read it.

If anybody talks to her or knows her, please touch base here with an update?

 

[BusynMember]

probably the same person.

 

[debra mcpherson]

Hello, I am hoping to get some advice as I am at my wit's end and in a state of depression myself over this. I'll try to make this as short as possible.

My 20 yr old became severely depressed about two years ago when he left for college. He did not do well in classes and we could all tell something was not right. One day he completely disappeared, leaving phone and identification behind. He was gone for 2 days on the streets of Philadephia. We made missing person posters and he was even on the local news as a missing college student. I thought I would die from worrying and of course thought the worst. He finally showed up, disheveled and dirty from living on the streets. He never, to this day, explained where he went or why he took off.

That was almost 2 years ago, when we realized the extent of his depression. He came home to live with me and his 10 yr old little brother (I'm a single mother). We thought taking a break from school and being with me and his family (we are all very close) would help. He stayed with me for 6 months. In that time, we saw a therapist and was prescribed prozac. He ended up throwing them away as he didn't want to depend on "big pharma". He seemed to get better (or acted like it) and said he was ready to go back to Philadelphia. I should add his dad's family lives there, he was living with them. In the next 6-8 months he deterierated even worse. He would call occasionally and he sounded so defeated. I begged him to come home and he would not.

Fast forward a few more months, I get a call from his dad that he is admitting him into a mental rehab clinic because he tried to end his life by taking a bottle of pills. I was absolutely besides myself. My son later said he was not trying to kill himself, he was just "being stupid" and to his credit, he did call his dad for help after he had taken them. In a strange way, i was relieved because I thought this was just a cry for help.

He only ended up staying in the clinic for 3 days, he was able to just sign himself out by saying he was better and agreeing to take anti-depressants they gave him. Of course he was not better. I made plans to fly him home here with me and he's been with me now since August of 2013. It has been a living nightmare. He's tried a therapist, different anti-depressants, never sticks with them for even 4 weeks, says he can't be around people, hates to even be around me and his little brother, which he hates feeling that way, he has told me that he has given up completely on life, that this is it. He refuses to go back to the therapist, he had a great job lined up that an uncle was able to find for him and all he had to do was show up for a 4 hr safety training, and he couldn't do it. He had to walk out because he said he couldn't handle it.

My parents brought him a paid off car, he got insurance which I paid the first month's premium and he agreed to begin taking care of it when he starts work. Now he refuses to even go back to the employer to try again. They are calling and calling him and he will not answer them. He says he would have failed anyway. I was at my wit's end and at the advice of my family and friends decided to try tough love (which I never have). I was always catering to his sensitive mental state and feared pushing him over the edge. But I had to try it, I've tried loving and supporting and beint patient and ignoring, hoping he would snap out of it and want to start treatment again. So I finally just told him that he had 2 weeks to find a job and an apartment of his own. This job would pay for more than enough for him to care for himself - he just needed to go to it! He was already hired.

Unfortunately he took it as me wanting him to just not be there anymore. I tried to tell him that I love him so much and I'm trying everything to motivate him. I have a younger son and I'm losing my mind and angry and crying all the time over my older son's mental state. So now he's saying he'll be out tomorrow. He has no plan, no means to care for himself, it was 28 degrees here yesterday, I took the keys to his car away and hid them fearing he would take off. I know he plans to just go away and who knows what. He said his life is over, he doesn't see the point of anything anymore.

What can I do?! Am I supposed to sit ouside his bedroom door like a jailor and make sure he doesn't escape? I have a full-time job and a little boy that needs me to keep it together. This has devastated my entire family, as this is a completely different child that we all knew. He was always the most popular outgoing kid in school, now he talks to no one, never keeps in touch with old friends, is in his room day and night, doesn't shower or eat anymore. He is like an invalid living in my home. I feel like God is punishing me for something I don't know.

Hi there my name is Debra it sounds like I'm reading the same thing about my son it's uncanny and very frustrating. How are things now with your son.
Debra

 

[Frustratedmom]

I have a very similar situation with a son about the same age. I just joined and can't find the start a thread button on my phone. Reading these comments helps me feel that others might understand what I have -and am going through.

 

[BusynMember]

Press thank you he new thread button. This is an old yhread. You will get a better welcome if you post your own.

 

[Frustratedmom]

Press thank you he new thread button. This is an old yhread. You will get a better welcome if you post your own.

Thanks for responding, but I don't see how to start a thread.

 

[ksm]

If you are reading this, scroll up to the top and Click on Parent Emeritus... From there you should see Post New Thread...off to the right at the top...

Hope this helps. KSM

 

[Frustratedmom]

Thab

If you are reading this, scroll up to the top and Click on Parent Emeritus... From there you should see st New Thread...off to the right at the top...

Hope this helps. KSM

Thanks!

 

[nynasymone282]

I have the ex

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and reply. I appreciate your thoughtful response. It is so heartbreaking to see my once healthy vibrant handsome popular hilarious boy become a living zombie cooped up in his room day and night. It is the most horrible feeling to never know what to expect when I get home each day from work.

When he was a junior and senior in HS, he experimented with pot and later admitted he also took some hallucinating mind altering drugs (I think like mushrooms). I'm sure there are risks that they can damage your brain permanently, and it was right around that time that, looking back, he started to change. But who knows. However to answer your question, he has never done any drugs or drank alcohol while in my home. I've watched him like a hawk, so I'm sure of it. It's so sad that he has no desire to even see what the future might hold. I've talked his ears off saying that maybe this job is what he needs, to just be busy, using his hands, I mean.. I'm a very happy person (well, used to be before all this), and I would get depressed if I was staring at 4 walls all day and night. And he did try to go, but couldn't sit through the classroom setting of the course.

My mom, who adores him, has told me that it is all in God's hands. I've done all I can do, aside from having law enforcement take him away in shackles and keep in a padded room. He's such a sweet talker, he will say anything and sound believable. It's funny that you mention that he might be manipulating me, my parents all believe he does - to an extent. Thanksgiving and Christmas Day are the single most special days that I love so much and I'm always on cloud nine with happiness during these days with my family, but my difficult child chose both of those days to be the WORST he had ever been, yelling that he didn't want to be alive anymore, etc.. I've had to detach myself, like you, in order to function each day and care for my other son.

I thought maybe I should try and have that affidavit signed where I make decisions for him, since he clearly can't function on his own, can't even shower or get out of bed. But he is so able-bodied and in shape and the very few times he has seemed to come around (never last for more than 2 days), I can see him doing anything his heart desired! So for me to consider committing him to a hospital just seems so extreme. But in the meantime, each and every single moment I'm in my home with him is a living hell. I never smile or laugh or find true joy in my life anymore. I mean, how can I be happy when my child is suffering every moment of every day? I feel so guilty the rare times my younger son makes me smile or laugh. I don't want his childhood ruined because of my older son's issues.

I went home at lunch to check on him and he was still upset and saying he would be out by tomorrow and "out of my hair", as he said. That's when I took the car keys without him knowing. But I know if he's determined, he will just walk out the door, not caring about impending cold weather or how he will eat or the dangers of the city streets. he just won't care, he will just walk out. Like he did last year in Philly, when the whole world was searching for him. I've offered to go with him to the therapist so we can both sit and talk about what to do. He no longer wants to continue treatment or help. He's completely given up. My dad says I should tell him to wait until saturday when my mom comes back from her cruise. I wanted to laugh at my dad, they are so sweet and naive, they do not know what I've gone through and the extreme of the situation. I with I could just say "Ok son, hold on to that thought.. grandma will know what to do on saturday". God bless them.They are both recently retired and instead of enjoying their new retired life, they have been worrying themselves ill over my son.

Thank you all for hearing my story.. I feel a little better reading other's stories and that I'm not alone. I only wish I knew how to help my poor son. I wish I could just shake him straight, or slap the depression out of him!

Hello, I am hoping to get some advice as I am at my wit's end and in a state of depression myself over this. I'll try to make this as short as possible.

My 20 yr old became severely depressed about two years ago when he left for college. He did not do well in classes and we could all tell something was not right. One day he completely disappeared, leaving phone and identification behind. He was gone for 2 days on the streets of Philadephia. We made missing person posters and he was even on the local news as a missing college student. I thought I would die from worrying and of course thought the worst. He finally showed up, disheveled and dirty from living on the streets. He never, to this day, explained where he went or why he took off.

That was almost 2 years ago, when we realized the extent of his depression. He came home to live with me and his 10 yr old little brother (I'm a single mother). We thought taking a break from school and being with me and his family (we are all very close) would help. He stayed with me for 6 months. In that time, we saw a therapist and was prescribed prozac. He ended up throwing them away as he didn't want to depend on "big pharma". He seemed to get better (or acted like it) and said he was ready to go back to Philadelphia. I should add his dad's family lives there, he was living with them. In the next 6-8 months he deterierated even worse. He would call occasionally and he sounded so defeated. I begged him to come home and he would not.

Fast forward a few more months, I get a call from his dad that he is admitting him into a mental rehab clinic because he tried to end his life by taking a bottle of pills. I was absolutely besides myself. My son later said he was not trying to kill himself, he was just "being stupid" and to his credit, he did call his dad for help after he had taken them. In a strange way, i was relieved because I thought this was just a cry for help.

He only ended up staying in the clinic for 3 days, he was able to just sign himself out by saying he was better and agreeing to take anti-depressants they gave him. Of course he was not better. I made plans to fly him home here with me and he's been with me now since August of 2013. It has been a living nightmare. He's tried a therapist, different anti-depressants, never sticks with them for even 4 weeks, says he can't be around people, hates to even be around me and his little brother, which he hates feeling that way, he has told me that he has given up completely on life, that this is it. He refuses to go back to the therapist, he had a great job lined up that an uncle was able to find for him and all he had to do was show up for a 4 hr safety training, and he couldn't do it. He had to walk out because he said he couldn't handle it.

My parents brought him a paid off car, he got insurance which I paid the first month's premium and he agreed to begin taking care of it when he starts work. Now he refuses to even go back to the employer to try again. They are calling and calling him and he will not answer them. He says he would have failed anyway. I was at my wit's end and at the advice of my family and friends decided to try tough love (which I never have). I was always catering to his sensitive mental state and feared pushing him over the edge. But I had to try it, I've tried loving and supporting and beint patient and ignoring, hoping he would snap out of it and want to start treatment again. So I finally just told him that he had 2 weeks to find a job and an apartment of his own. This job would pay for more than enough for him to care for himself - he just needed to go to it! He was already hired.

Unfortunately he took it as me wanting him to just not be there anymore. I tried to tell him that I love him so much and I'm trying everything to motivate him. I have a younger son and I'm losing my mind and angry and crying all the time over my older son's mental state. So now he's saying he'll be out tomorrow. He has no plan, no means to care for himself, it was 28 degrees here yesterday, I took the keys to his car away and hid them fearing he would take off. I know he plans to just go away and who knows what. He said his life is over, he doesn't see the point of anything anymore.

What can I do?! Am I supposed to sit ouside his bedroom door like a jailor and make sure he doesn't escape? I have a full-time job and a little boy that needs me to keep it together. This has devastated my entire family, as this is a completely different child that we all knew. He was always the most popular outgoing kid in school, now he talks to no one, never keeps in touch with old friends, is in his room day and night, doesn't shower or eat anymore. He is like an invalid living in my home. I feel like God is punishing me for something I don't know.

I’m currently going through the exact thing!!! The only thing is I had to hurry and find him housing which I did. My son did the exact and same thing. It’s like your mirroring my same experience My son is 25 and been going thru this since he was 16!