Big long post that I just erased. I mean... details don't really matter, do they? A mentally ill difficult child with utterly delusional expectations of life. He wants what he wants, NOW, without work or effort. Impossible to reason with, but then... when has it ever been possible? How many years did I preach to just JUMP THROUGH THE DARN HOOP??? He's still incapable.
I think the hardest thing is the "appearance" of normalcy, the drastic improvement from the violent child who lived in our home 14 years ago. He's not violent towards others anymore, can be charming, but cannot hold a job because he's just different. There it is.
I hate mental illness. Really and truly and with every fiber of my being. And I really hate that there are adult children who are out there, incapable of functioning without supervision, yet are unsupervised because that is their "right." Self-determination is total BS when it comes to thank you, because there's not a single solitary rational goal in his head. Never has been.
And I hate what 9 years of institutions did to him. SSI is his right. Why should he work a minimum wage job, to just continue to struggle as he is now, when he can struggle without an effort? It's an affront to husband's and my hard work over the years. It sickens me. And yet the alternative would've been 2 pcs more damaged than they already were by thank you's violence. Truly a no-win.
I wish drugs *were* a part of the picture now. Then there might be hope, something fixable - not easily fixable but fixable nonetheless. This.... funky wiring in the brain and a total disconnect with anything approaching logic? No fix whatsoever.
Sigh.... lather, rinse, repeat. Ever feel that way about your adult difficult child? husband and I are there right now.
I think the hardest thing is the "appearance" of normalcy, the drastic improvement from the violent child who lived in our home 14 years ago. He's not violent towards others anymore, can be charming, but cannot hold a job because he's just different. There it is.
I hate mental illness. Really and truly and with every fiber of my being. And I really hate that there are adult children who are out there, incapable of functioning without supervision, yet are unsupervised because that is their "right." Self-determination is total BS when it comes to thank you, because there's not a single solitary rational goal in his head. Never has been.
And I hate what 9 years of institutions did to him. SSI is his right. Why should he work a minimum wage job, to just continue to struggle as he is now, when he can struggle without an effort? It's an affront to husband's and my hard work over the years. It sickens me. And yet the alternative would've been 2 pcs more damaged than they already were by thank you's violence. Truly a no-win.
I wish drugs *were* a part of the picture now. Then there might be hope, something fixable - not easily fixable but fixable nonetheless. This.... funky wiring in the brain and a total disconnect with anything approaching logic? No fix whatsoever.
Sigh.... lather, rinse, repeat. Ever feel that way about your adult difficult child? husband and I are there right now.