Need help!

[rejectedmom]

Whew! I am so glad you were able to support her and get her to seek professional help. Unfortuntely the admission process for psychiatric is long and protracted. My son's last admit took 11 hours (Including transport) before he was settled at the psychiatric hospital. It was a long and exhausting day for both of us. I selpt off and on for two days afterward. The emotional stress is so draining for us parents. Take advantage of this time to rest up, she will need your continued support after she is released.

 

[Schwt1]

Again everyone, I can't thank you enough for listening and offering advice from your own experiences.

Tonight's visit was better than I anticipated. She voluntarily went to group. Only three people, which made it not so bad to her.... but on the flip side, there were only three in group because only the high functioning attend group. I don't know if the floor is full, but capacity is 20. SoooOOoOoOoo

When I got there she was in one of the sunrooms, drawing.. so we chatted and doodled together. We talked a little about how she's feeling but I think I started asking too many questions. She, of course, still doesn't want to be there but handling it much better.. even mentioned maybe not going back to school before mid next week. We'll just play that one by ear. I hope she heeds whatever advice she's given by the therapist(s) and doctor(s). We played a few games, Yahtzee and Jenga, one of the other patients that was in group earlier in the day joined us for a game.

I was able to bring her some of her books, clothes, and they let her email her professors today... yayyy! Progress! Makes her feel better, which in turn makes me feel better.

*hugs*

 

[Tiredof33]

I am so happy for you and her that she did admit herself, I was scared just reading your post. I know you have to be exhausted. It's an age where we don't think about the future-only that we have problems that are too much for our inexperienced lives to handle and we feel like we will have them forever. I was in an abusive marriage and they can completely make you feel worthless!!! so hopefully it was the relationship and he is gone and she can get on with her life - with help of course.

My sister told me that after her 22yo husband (she was 20) walked out of the hospital and never returned when they were told the baby was Downes, threw her into a depression and she thought suicide was the only way out. I remember also thinking of suicide in my 20's. It is just a hard time for many and they feel like there is no way out.

in my opinion she is making plans for the future - also a very good sign was that she reached out to you. Sounds like she wants help and she will be honest and cooperate with the counselors. Another positive was that she told of the attempt.

Getting counseling is not held against you like it was 20 years ago - we had people on the 'do not promote list' because of mental and emotional instability problems going through things like a divorce, so sad they could not get help without fearing they would lose their jobs.
(((blessings to you and yours)))

 

[Schwt1]

Argghh! I must not have hit the 'post' button... this morning wasn't great.

Please tell me this roller coaster ride is typical in the beginning? She called me this morning... she was pretty upset again...

She told me that last night, after I had left and she didn't have anything else to do, she started feeling like she just wanted to die.
I told her to continue talking, making sure they know how she feels both physically and emotionally/mentally.

Anything anyone can add greatly appreciated. What can I DO FOR MYSELF to stay positive (kinda freaked about how easily my mind and heart let me feel like everything was okay last night).. kinda silly I know.. now I'm back to DESPAIR.. WORRIED SICK..

 

[Hound dog]

((hugs)) Schwt1

This is fairly typical at the beginning of treatment. medications are not instantaneous and take time to build up blood levels to work properly, then often doses have to be adjusted for the individual, or medication changes have to be made to find the right combination that works best for her. Therapy will be a huge help, but it will also be a roller coaster ride as she works through things and lets herself feel the emotions.

As for you, you need to let yourself continue to enjoy your own life as much as possible by continuing to do things that interest you and are fun. You have to remind yourself that this is your daughter's journey and that you can't walk the road for her, only she can do it. You can only support her and give her encouragement. It's not easy to learn to detach, it's a process that takes time. Even detached you still worry ect.

Right now, she is safe. While she is in patient, make sure you're getting plenty of rest and taking time out to do things for yourself, maybe a girls night out, dinner and a movie with hubby......something to help you forget even if for just an hour or two and to let go of the worry. Otherwise the stress alone will knock you off your feet in no time. And if you're down for the count you won't be able to even maintain a supportive role for her.

This may be a long haul. Your daughter may stumble and fall many times, she may make 20 strides forward only to go ten back. So you have to prepare yourself in case it is and put stress relievers into place and learn the detachment process to keep it from consuming you. I *think* we had that sort of listed here somewhere, maybe one of the mods can remember and repost it. I dunno.

For Nichole, I put on the front that I was certain if she wanted it bad enough, she could do it. I refused to waver regardless of what she did. Now that she is stable, she says that my never wavering in my belief in her helped her more than I could ever know. Because I always believed in her, she eventually began to believe in herself. Everyone had pretty much given up on her, everyone but me.

Be kind to yourself, hon. You're doing a great job.

((hugs))

 

[Nomad]

I didn't see your recent post, and just finished typing that these threats are serious!

I am very glad that she got to a hospital for treatment!

You asked...what you can do for yourself? That is a question we ask ourselves here A LOT! It is a hard thing to process, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to detach from the drama involved with all of it. Let most, if not all of it, GO. It is sometimes (especially at the beginning) impossible to understand. But, you must preserve your health and happiness. You can help her (speak with doctors, fill out paperwork, etc.) but at the same time refuse to allow the frustration, stress and loss that comes with all of this to get the better of you. True, it is painful, unfair, heart wrenching and frightening. But, honey, take it from me...you have little if ANY control in any of this. This is her battle and she has to go through it. Eat well, exercise if you can, take your vitamins, read uplifting literature, tap into your spiritual faith and turn it over to your Higher Power and keep a good thought that down the road your daughter will indeed find her way again. If the pain gets too great, consider counseling for yourself. A good counselor can help you get through this difficulty.

 

[Schwt1]

Hi everyone... sorry I haven't posted a follow up. Again, I can't thank you all enough for your support!

I just wanted to let you know that my daughter is doing well. I picked her up Friday, she went to a meeting and hung out with a friend Friday night, and she, I, and her brother did fun stuff all weekend keeping us all busy. She went to school yesterday, claims to have gotten a little anxious but got through it. Stayed at school through the evening doing some studying, but came home last night. She's been offered an RA (Resident Assistant) internship, so she's going to have to 'shadow' a current RA this week, sometimes they're on call 24/7 and they're required to do rounds so she's going to have to stay on campus several nights this week. Hopefully she'll come back home for a little while when she's done with that.

So as I said, for right now, all seems well. And I really can't thank all of you that posted enough for being my rock when I was sooooo scared and lost!

Love to you all!

 

[buddy]

Anything anyone can add greatly appreciated. What can I DO FOR MYSELF to stay positive (kinda freaked about how easily my mind and heart let me feel like everything was okay last night).. kinda silly I know.. now I'm back to DESPAIR.. WORRIED SICK..

Keep talking, keep posting and DO something.... my stress situations are different but when my son was in the hospital I forced myself out for walks and went to my sisters' houses and we even went to play bingo (of course I got a call there that my son was being put in a secluded room at the time but I had my family with me!)... I had sleepless nights, swings from hope to sadness, etc. Really so hard. It is normal to go through that, who on earth plans for a parenting journey that includes this kind of thing?


You sound not silly, but typical/normal to me... (maybe we both are silly, LOL). How could you not go through all of those emotions, she is your daughter afterall.

Let us know how you are... and what your plans to do for yourself are today, OK?? HUGS

 

[buddy]

oh funny, I read this in reverse and didn't see the update... glad she is home, I hope she does not push too much too soon. What are the follow up plans for her mental health??? I have never heard of anyone being cured in the hospital and by your post I can tell you are still guarded, so just curious if they arranged for follow up care for her???