Oh SUSAN...

[Hound dog]

Susan

Right click on your mouse. Choose print screen. Another screen will pop up. Click OK. That ought to do it.

 

[standswithcourage]

Thanks Daisylover. You made a lot of sense.

 

[donna723]

Susan, when you cannot or will not do what you know is best for him, what he desperately needs, because it makes YOU feel bad and because it will worry YOU, then yes, I do consider that being selfish! You already told him that he absolutely could not come to your home when he got out of jail, but then you let him anyway - because you would worry too much if he were "out on the streets"? Why will it be any different on August 13th? Even though it's heart wrenching for you, the most loving thing you can do for him now is to force him become self-reliant and to help himself. He has no reason to do anything the way it is. And if your husband is determined to follow through on August 13th, maybe it's not such a hot idea if you "will be right by his side and when the day comes ..." Maybe that would be a really good day for you to spend a nice leisurely day at the mall, go to the library, have a nice lunch, get your hair done ... and come home when the dust settles.

And Daisy ... "If you didn't live in tennessee, I'd swear one of those sons is my husband".



Your husband wouldn't happen to be chubby and red-headed with a huge sense of entitlement, would he?

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Susan, may I point out that if you were "sticking to your guns", as you put it, you would NOT HAVE LET HIM COME HOME IN THE FIRST PLACE.

You JUST frickin told me in a PM that he was out getting high and you were not letting him home.

The very next day, he is home. Are you KIDDING me?

 

[Suz]

he will go - I am sure of it.

Prove it.

Suz

 

[trinityroyal]

So telling him he is going to have to leave Aug. 13 is selfish? Is that what you mean?

Susan, telling your son to leave on aug 31st isn't the selfish part.
What is selfish is:
-- forcing your easy child to live in the same house with your difficult child, where his safety can no longer be guaranteed
-- not letting your difficult child stand or fall on his own 2 feet and be a man
-- subjecting your family to the constant drama of difficult child battles
-- coming here and asking for help just to stir up everyone's emotions, time after time after time.

We are sticking by our guns.

No, you're not. Sticking by your guns would be saying that you're not letting difficult child come home, and then not letting him come home.

By giving him one more chance one thousand times, you have ruined your credibility, not just with your difficult child, but also with your easy child son who knows that he can't rely on his mother to protect him from theft of his belongings or abuse by his older brother. Not to mention with those of us on this board who have tried and tried to help you

I told my sister to let it be daddys decision based on what she knew he was doing here - also I gave my son another option of a transitional housing from ex inmates

difficult child should be doing all of this for himself.

 

[witzend]

So telling him he is going to have to leave Aug. 13 is selfish? Is that what you mean?

She means giving in to your worry and letting him come home at all was selfish.

he preys on me with his emotion and I feel like i want to scream

The very simple solution to this is to cut off contact with him. Hard to do with him in your house. Easy to do if you get a pedicure instead of letting him into your head.

 

[donna723]

" ... also I gave my son another option of a transitional housing from ex inmates"

If you're talking about some kind of half-way house, you can't just check in to those places like a hotel. Usually they have to have recommendations, put in an application and be accepted, and then wait for an opening to come up. And if it's a legitimate half-way house, they won't put up with any nonsense of a resident using drugs, etc. - he'd be out on his keister! Most of the people living in the real half-way houses have jobs and are sincerely making an effort to turn their lives around.

 

[Hound dog]

Your husband wouldn't happen to be chubby and red-headed with a huge sense of entitlement, would he?

OMG!! He most certainly is!!! They MUST be related somehow.

 

[flutterbee]

704 views and 48 replies because she did what we knew she would anyway. Did anyone really think that since we hadn't heard from Susan that her son wasn't home?

People, stop. Let's spend this time and energy on someone who really wants the help.

 

[Suz]

Good morning.

This topic is exhausted so let's move on, shall we?

Suz