Omg!!

[klmno]

The only thing is that the show-cause is for breaking an order from a judge and I will be in front of that judge before they can schedule an arraignment, and since it was directly because I am the parent of a juvenile that I got the order in the first place, the clerk said I'd probably be explaining my reasons on Monday. I will bring up that if I'm facing jail-time, I want an attny first. I don't mind explaining my reasons to her- it's actually going to lead into the conflict with the PO. She could give me a fine up to $250, 10 days in jail, or both. Let's hope she doesn't do both then still order more of the same with PO. Really- something has to give in that situation- it's toxic for difficult child and myself-individually and our relationship.

As far as Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I'm going to try tomorrow to line up people outside of Department of Juvenile Justice (in other county agencies) to commit to being able to get a county meeting IF difficult child was released from probation. I heard this verbally in Dec/Jan, but I need someone to commit to it. If only the PO can do it while difficult child is on probation and she has always refused, it bothers me that gal didn't even discuss it with the po. Maybe I have the wrong impression about the gal's role, but here, they are all attnys and listened to the most in court. It was the gal who said to the judge that we still might be able to get the county team involvement. Dummy me thought that meant she would actually step in and help.

Then, she told me to do it, I tried, I called and let gal know that I could not. I already knew that I could not. This is exactly why I needed someone with more power than the po involved. So why hasn't the gal done anything? On her message today she just said "she had no idea why the county team hadn't been scheduled yet". Well, HELLO- she has read the letter I sent to the judge in Jan that starts out with the need for the county team and asking her to either order it or release difficult child from probation so I could get it. I hope this gal isn't going to try to make me look bad to the judge because I haven't gotten it. I don't think they will continue the case again. If difficult child was going to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), my guess is that they would hold him in the local detention until he was transported.

Then- the sw called and left a message saying that the reason she hadn't spoken with the gal is because the gal had not returned calls at a time when she was in her office. She said she had left numerous messages with gal. It just looks to me like everyone is going to end up pointing the finger at me because they didn't do anything and there's no way they are going to take responsibility for nothing being accomplished. I wouldn't be shocked to find the gal try to focus the whole court on me not taking the *&%^ test. My gut still tells me that their first choice was to find a diagnosis for me so they could send difficult child with in home therapist along with me having oders to see therapist and psychiatrist, on top of difficult child's psychiatrist. Right. And of course, the ordered tdocs would be Department of Juvenile Justice people who focus only on behavior modification- no matter what they tell you. difficult child needs CBT. And how am I supposed to get a grip on full time work and getting the house in shape like that? And what does difficult child learn from that?

The sw did say that she had spoken with the director of the county team and she had said she would not recommend Residential Treatment Center (RTC) at this point and if I called tomorrow, she'd explain why. Now, the gal had said last week that she had spoken to this same person and she had told the gal that the letter from psychiatrist at current placement makes all the difference in the world. I think someone ought to get that county person into court since she is the one who told me some things in Dec. Of course, I have no weight to get her in there.

I guess the good news in all this is that it didn't sound like the sw had called my bro up here.

 

[timer lady]

k, I've always had to go the county funding route. husband & I paid as much was we could afford; however, the county (due to special needs & such) meets each Tuesday to determine this level of funding. The school paid their share, husband & I pitched in when we could & the county paid the balance. kt's last placement in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was covered by county funding however her CADI waiver was put on hold at that point.

Please, please, please, contact your county case manager (if you have one) & push that. If not, you may have to get an equity line on your home (if possible).

 

[CrazyinVA]

Regardless of the fact you'll be in front of the same judge, they can't charge you with anything, or hear your case, without an attorney present if you want one. They will have to schedule a separate hearing date for your show cause. It's certainly possible they'll bring it up since it's pending, but you can't be sentenced or "heard" in any way on the record.

Hugs. It still sounds like this is all the powers-that-be running around with their heads cut off and not accomplishing anything, and that you won't can't be held responsible for their inaction (the judge here would be ticked at that, I know), and hopefully the judge will see it that way.

 

[klmno]

Thanks, Ladies! As everyone knows, I've spent a great deal of time trying to find another way to get to the county team besides going thru the PO since the PO has always refused to do it and refer Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I heard back from the detention/mental health cm this morning that she had spoken with someone from the county team and they said it had to be the PO.

I'm thinking now this might be the best message to send out there for court, and I've already called and left this message to GAL: "There is no one allowing me to get to the county team and they are all telling me it has to be the PO. This is what I was being told before difficult child committed his last illegal act, which is why that letter to the judge is in his file asking for release from probation (written in Jan), this is what I was told the day of the last court, and this is what I'm still being told. The PO's position through all of this has been that she will not refer it so unless someone can change the PO's mind or difficult child is released from probation so that I can use my parental rights to access the county teaam thru other agencies, I know of no way to get it. This is exactly the same as the situation months ago, which is why I tried to get something done about it before difficult child committed his last offense."

What mother would take parental decisions from someone who refuses to discuss what is in the best interest of a child and follow experts' recommendations and refuse to do something that has been determined to lead to the best chance for the child having effective treatment and being rehabilitated? To me, it just looks like this PO is more interested in proving a point about power than anything and that is not someone I'm going to take orders from regarding my son. I know they are there to make sure the kid and family do what they are supposed to, but they are also there to get neccessary programs in place when determined to be important for keeping the kid out of corrections facilities. This is documented all thru our local and state laws, policies, etc.

It is beyond me why no one is talking to this PO about why she is the ONLY person who is against this. How could I ever view her as someone I should be listening to about parenting?

 

[CrazyinVA]

Let's hope that all of this really ticks off the judge and he/she lays it all at the feet of the PO. Seems to me that is where the biggest problem lies. I like your message, keep practicing that. All roads seem to lead back to the PO .. SHE is holding up the bus here.

 

[klmno]

Yeah- I doubt it will happen just because it would shake the pretty picture of how well the system works, but really, what do you expect from someone who told me that I was wasting my time to get difficult child a MDE from the state experts after his psychiatrist said he thought he was probably bipolar- the PO told me I shouldn't take difficult child, it wasn't court ordered and I was wasting my time. I should only concentrate on doing what the mst guy said. Funny- the judge seemed to be quite interested in the MDE report and recommendations after I had them in hand.

I know the judge wants to be able to monitor compliance but she never looks at anything unless/until difficult child ends up in court again anyway. I don't see why there can't be another way besides probation to meet everyone's objective. Why can't he be released from probation and have Residential Treatment Center (RTC) submit a copy of the monthly review to the court? It would verify compliance, family therapy, progress, etc. I just can't see what purpose probation was serving in this situation. She was never focused on doing anything to prevent difficult child going into dept of corrections. Obviously, we both have deteriorated individually and in our relationship (difficult child and I) and I know her undermining my authority and not having any goals in place for difficult child to be released from probation had a LOT to do with it. I just don't see how I can prove that in court- especially when they are all just pointing the finger at me as being the ccommon denominator.

 

[klmno]

I still have not rec'd a return call from GAL. I left her a message yesterday, one this morning and another this afternoon. I have apologized oon my message for calling again and made sure I was using a nice tone of voice. The one this afternoon was to say that I'm not an atttny so I'm not sure about this but that I have heard that a judge can order Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for a child in need of services who has offended again and can refer county team involvement, although the judge might have to order it through probation or dss. And I asked if she could check on that just to be sure, since I don't know the law or county policies in these matters.

I wouldn't have done that as it could be seen by some like I'm questioning the judge, however, several times the judge asks the gal what the law says about something and if probation or dss can do something, so I think I'm ok. I also have a call into sw from dss and of course, she hasn't returned my call either- even though she left me a message yesterday saying she would be in her office this afternoon. She leaves about 4:00-4:30.

Are you starting to see why I get so angry with these people after they do this knid of carp then go to court and try to make it look like they know more about difficult child's best interest and parenting and I might be the problem?

Now, I just got another call from an "anonymous" caller. This is the third this week and they always hang up after I've said Hello 2-3 times. The only people who have ever called while blocking their number has been the GAL (probably calling from home), my bro (I have his home number blocked), and the kid that wouldn't stop calling difficult child after I told him to. School isn't dismissed yet, so I don't think it's that kid.

Edited to add: It was the GAL- she called back shortly afterwards. She is saying that it is everyone else that won't return her call. Now I don't buy that, given that she was including the psychiatrist as well as sw and county team director. But, she said she was not happy that none of these other people had done one thing to make anything happen. I updated her on what I knew and threw in a reminder a couple of times that this was the same thing that I was dealing with 3 mos ago and it has never changed and that as long as difficult child is on probation, I basicly have no parental right to do anything more. She said it's all a matter of funding- no one wants difficult child in their system because they don't want to have to deal with it and have money coming out of their pot.

I said correct- and I have been told that they would rather have him turned over to state so that it comes out of state money. I also said that as long as he's on probation the access is to crime prevention money and that money does not cover the mental health treatment that he needs. She said she knew. She said she was still going to recommend the same thing for difficult child in court and let the judge know that dss did not return her calls or pursue anything. I explained, again, some things about the PO being a major problem and contributing so much to this deterioration yet refusing to refer us to county team. She said she didn't think judge will ever let difficult child off probation because PO can order things to prevent difficult child getting into detention. Well, what about the fact that she refuses to do that though? I asked if she had tried to talk to PO because I knew PO would never listen to me. She said she had tried but that "well, you know, there are people who just don't believe that mental health issues exist". I asked if she thought there would be any way the judge would order the PO to refer this to the county team. She said she didn't think so but she could bring it to the judge's attention that the PO could have done this but has not. I also told her again about PO trying to lie about things that I know she knew about.

She aslo said it was going to be a problem that I didn't do that test. I said I know and I explained part of why I didn't and told her I had been seeing a therapist. I figure I'll just explain the best I can to the judge.

I may have to leave her another message before court. I want her to think about the fact that the judge wants difficult child kept on probation because the PO has authority to access community supports to prevent detention- but so far, it is the PO who not only refuses to do that, but is standing in my way of it. Also, I did tell GAL that when difficult child was in psychiatric hospital in Jan, they immediately recommended Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but I told them I couldn't put difficult child there because he was on probation and they started trying to contact PO and she never returned their call. I would like to ask the judge (or make the obvious question in court)- "Is this probation officer meeting your objective for having difficult child on probation"? Is it even possible for someone who doesn't beleiev in mental health issues to take neceesary interventions and preventative steps for a difficult child whose illegal activity results from inadequate level of care for a mental health issue?

I hope the GAL shows up in court showing 1/4 the stress that I have felt after trying to sort thru all this and get something done. LOL!! She also seemed frustrated over this local mental health person not doing a certificate of need. Anyway, after talking to her today, I feel like some of the things being thrown out to me that scared me to death were thrown out to manipulate me into doing things to keep difficult child from costing others more money.