tryingtobestrong, I can imagine your level of intense emotion right now, it is hard to know what to do......I'm so sorry you are struggling so with this choice. It feels awful to feel hopeless.
I am
not in favor of you choosing to go take care of your son right now, however, I want you to really know that whatever you ultimately decide to do, it is YOUR decision. None of us can stand in your shoes and truly know how you feel or what the right thing to do is, we can only offer you our own feelings about what you are doing......if this feels like your "final" rescue of him, then please, by all means, go. Very often we parents have to go to a certain length in helping our kids to really know, deep down, that we did everything possible......and then we can let go. I don't want to dissuade you from your plan if that is how you are looking at it.
Sorry for being emotional. I love him so as you all love your children too. I'm just so exhausted from all of this over the years.
Don't apologize for being a mother who loves her son and wants to help, we are all emotional when it is about our kids......loving our adult children so much is what makes this so difficult.....
I feel as the others do, however, we may be confusing you and making this more difficult.....you have to ultimately trust yourself to do what you believe is right. There will be other moments down the line where you can exert your detachment skill, this may not be the time for that, I don't know........ but you do. Dig deep and discover what it is you truly want right now.......and what you don't want The beauty of this site is you can read the responses and keep what makes sense to you, and discard what doesn't.
We're trying to protect you from the heartbreak of losing yourself in your son's addiction, however, none of us truly can know what is right for you and your son......all we can do is offer you our experience, our understanding and our compassion. This is devastatingly hard, so if now is not the moment for you to begin detaching from your son, you'll know. If it is, you've got a tribe of parents here to support you. And, if you go, no matter how it turns out, we'll be here to support you then. There is no right way or wrong way,
only what your heart can bear.
Take a couple of deep breaths. I know what it's like to feel the fear you're feeling.....it can be overwhelming whether it's real or imagined......if it feels right, check out this guided meditation for inner peace, it's helpful to relax and let go of feeling overwhelmed.
Guided Mindfulness Meditation for Inner Peace and Calm--Voice Only Version