I too tend to give to shelters and the like. ONe time a woman who works for a place that feeds the homeless put on the neighborhood APP a call for a need for food. I contacted her and she literally came to my house and I literally handed her bags of canned goods and such from my pantry.
Two things that stand out in my mind. Years ago I went to McDonalds quickly after exercising. I needed a little milk for a recipe and bought a small carton of skim milk. A woman came up to me and asked me for help claiming she was sleeping in her car with her children. I handed her literally everything in my hand, which was the milk and the change I had left from the purchase. She then proceeded to scream at me that I was stupid for buying skim milk.
There was a homeless family that was pitching a tent in a shopping center parking lot in my area. People did all they could to help them INcluding offering to take them to the grocery store and they could buy whatever they wanted. This would invoke screaming from them. They wanted cash, but would also accept gift cards to a nearby nice restaurant as a second choice. It was a little weird and very upsetting on a number of levels including the fact that this shopping center was in an interesting location that served neighboring residences but also one close enough that tourists used it too. Tourists would feel terrible seeing a family with children in a tent while they were having a great time and fork out the big bucks. On that same app, people reported seeing tourists handing them $100 bills. Even the director , a minister, of the local homeless shelter came out to see them offering to move their tent to the shelter and help them get off the street (or in this case, parking lot). As a side note, the children were not going to school and the family claimed they homeschooled them. The children were often seen running around the parking lot, sometimes the street, sometimes begging. Eventually, our Gov. made this tent pitching in public places illegal.