Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Nature, Sep 19, 2018.

  1. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    Apologies for the lousy title of my post but after a few days of bliss I'm left upset at ....I'll tell the story.

    After many years of my son being an addict I feel this time he's really trying to change his life.

    After his hospital stay - he and his friend are staying in a home close by. Slowly he's changing and I have not seen that person who resembled my son for many years. I'm still walking on eggshells and being guarded as I know it can change at any time.

    Last week, I picked up my son and his friend and took them to a job fair where 100 employers took part. Not only did I see smiles when I picked them up a few hours later but I was happy to see they put a lot of thought in their appearance and had given out their resumes to aprox 20 employers. Both were successful in their job search and my heart had not been this happy in a long time.

    The new jobs mean getting up at 6 am, preparing their lunches, clothing , ect for the work day. It means stopping at the pharmacy to get their daily methadone before they head off to work. So far so good. They feel pride at this new lifestyle which is a far cry from living homeless for so long. He's been visiting the methadone clinic for aprox 3 months now.

    Here's the REALLY? part in my title. I stopped at their clinic today to speak to the drug addictions worker and she as well as all the others in the office were thrilled that the two were able to get jobs. I explained there is a problem as they are required to visit the doctor in order to continue their script but as their work hours are 8-4:40 and it's a new job could the doctor call in the new script? The clinic closes at 1:30. The drug addictions worker and other staff thought there wouldn't be a problem. However the doctor did not agree to continue the script unless they come in personally on Friday. The clinic does not open until 9:30 and they are supposed to be at work at 8 am. So frustrating! They both are doing so well but this may potentially place their job in jeopardy as they now will have to ask their boss if they can both arrive 2 - 2 12 hours late for their new jobs. They both work on the same landscaping crew as a 4 man team. I am now feeling scared they may lose their jobs. One step forward ...2 steps back.
  2. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    The next day.....
    Okay the best possible thing happened today. I arrived at my son's place at 6:30 am to find them ready, packed lunches and work clothes prepared. We were able to speak at some length over what to do regarding the prescription and they both agreed that their recovery is the number one thing. This is a good sign as it's what the drug addiction counsellor said although the job is important in giving them purpose.

    I was somewhat surprised that my son said he was going to tell the truth to his boss although it may cost him the job. (This was not my drug addicted angry angry son talking) but the calm son I haven't seen for 10-15 years.

    He was going to call his boss on his break but just mins before had been informed that their work day will be cut short today as the supervisor has an appointment. They will be able to visit their clinic! This was the best scenerio and I thank god for answering my prayers.
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  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    So happy to hear this great news.

    Glad that your son and his friend are staying on task!


    I hope and pray for their continued success. It's kind of good they have a buddy system. No one can do this alone...
  4. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    Thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
    I managed to get them to the clinic in time only to have the staff inform my son he didn't have to see the doctor until next week and she left a prescription for him. Urg! My son's friend had to see the other doctor on site and was given a 2 wk prescription since he's working...double Urg! All I can do is shrug my shoulders and smile as on the grand scheme of things this is not something to get upset over. I'm just glad they are both doing well at the moment and am grateful for what's happened so far.
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  5. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Wow I think that is great news. Great they are so clear that their recovery is their first priority and really good it worked out.

    I do think its nuts that the clinic would put their job at jeopardy as it would seem that would be key in helping them stay in recovery.
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  6. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    Thank you. I'm almost afraid of enjoying their success so far....there are a lot of obstacles to overcome in their recovery so I had a sleepless night worrying about them losing their jobs. My personal counsellor who I've just started seeing gave me heck as she kept reminding me it was not my problem but theirs. Yet, I fully understand what the repercussions are if they fail. I also know that Recovery is the most important but their jobs are giving them satisfaction and purpose, keeping them busy all day and keeping them on a schedule which they haven't experienced in a long while.

    I admit I've also taken on the mom role with my son's friend . His drug addicted parents got him hooked on heroin at 15 and most of his life he has spent in foster care or he has been homeless.His parents had 5 children who all ended up in custody he lived temporarily with his grandma who adores him she could no longer care for him as she's disabled. I admit I experience joy at his awe of things that most of us take for granted. All he wanted for his birthday was a visit to the Aquarium which he hasn't been to since he was a little kid. He gets excited when he sees food in the fridge or cupboards and he really enjoys learning how to cook. He is the one that cooks daily now and does the dishes, while my son does other chores. After both living in a dirty junk filled van which left no room for them to sleep but curled up into balls they are taking pride in keeping this home clean and are excited about their jobs. While he is child like in many ways he is far more independent than my son.

    My partner and I treat him like our own and also purchased work boots, clothes and take him to appointments just as I do with my own son. I know kinda sounds like we're taking on more responsibility but rather than enabling each other they keep each other focused and cheer each other on. I keep thinking it's like watching that old movie starring Robert Dinero called Awakenings ...anyone watch that movie before? They are experiencing things as if they've been in a fog for the past many years which is what drug addiction is like isn't it? Thank you for your positive comments friends.
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  7. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    I think this is wonderful Nature, for everyone. Helping one another in active recovery, what a good thing. Prayers going up it continues. Although your post describes some frustrating glitches, the blessings are shining through.
  8. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    Thank you so much Leafy. All the individuals spoken about here are part of "our family" we cheer in their success and are sad at their misfortunes and setbacks. It may be my child this time but next time it might be yours. Hugs
  9. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I am unclear. Will this be a problem every week? I mean. Did they dodge a bullet for the first week only to have to deal with it in a week or two?
    This is marvelous.

    Your son's friend/roommate sounds darling. What a great story.

    Look. All the rest of us are only getting by one day at a time. Except for us we can forget how precarious things are, because we have accrued some chits that guard against the rainy days that could come our way. They are too. I agree with you: To applaud their focus on recovery. Everything else can be replaced by another chance.
    I am thrilled for them. And for you.

    I think any mother in your situation would be hard pressed to NOT feel these bumps in the road. Which is an argument to back off a little. But on the other hand, you are able and willing to give support, for which they sincerely seem to be grateful. Take care.
  10. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    Good point Copa. Yes, they will have to figure this out. This clinic is open until 5 but the doctors leave a few hours earlier. My son and his friend hadn't realized this as previously they visited the clinic doctor at 9:30 am every Thursday. They hadn't expected to get hired so soon after the job fair. When they did receive their schedules they thought it wouldn't be a problem getting to the clinic by 5 but then discovered the doctors leave early. They visited the day before to see if they was anything they could do and were told by staff that the doctor may allow a 2 wk prescription but the doctor said no but then changed her mind again and did allow it but only when they showed up there.

    There was a panic they would leave their new boss in a bind the first week of work and hoped the doctor would give them an extension on the prescription which they often do for clients that visit weekly if they manage to find a job. Hope that clarifies a bit of my previous muddled post.

    My son is going to call around to see if there are clinics that are open earlier or later but that would be a shame as they've made a connection with the addictions councelor and staff. If that is impossible than he will have to discuss possibly leaving early on Thursdays - not the best case scenario but his recovery is the most important thing. Sometimes if a client has been attending a clinic weekly the doctor has the discretion to ask them to check in monthly after a period of time. This will be their 3 month attending weekly so hoping that he can convince her of the importance of his job. Here's hoping it will all turn out.
  11. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Sometimes roadblocks in life are put there for a reason even though at the time it seems like it's the most horrible thing that can happen.

    At least that has been our experience. It's good that the boys are trying to figure this out.

    This is what life is all about and a learning experience for them that will serve them well into the future.
  12. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    RN you are 100% correct. I think I was taking too much on of THEIR problem. I was worried this would be a set back in their recovery but then have to remind myself that without the appointments at the clinic ...they would not be able to handle a job so the clinic appointments are a priority while the job comes second.

    On a brighter note the owner of the company dropped by today to check out the work crew and my son was able to get permission to leave early on Thursday for a doctors appointment. So he bite the bullet for another two weeks and I decided not to say anything other than "that's good". I didn't ask him what he discussed. He's grown and again I have to remind myself it's his problem and not mine.

    Thank you everyone for your input and advice.
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  13. Elsi

    Elsi Active Member

    Nature I’m glad he’s got it figured out for now! I think at this stage all you can do is take it one day or one week at a time. Every day he gets through successfully he’s a little bit stronger and a little more ready for the next challenge. I think it’s good to step back and let him handle it. Prayers for his continued success!
  14. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    Thank you Elsi I appreciate your kind words.