Relapsed

[tryingtobestrong]

Almost made it 3 months just shy by a few days. Started a new relationship and went away for a weekend. Found out she had something and lost it Got home and drank. Not sure what today will be like. He said he didn’t want to go back to that. Also mentioned about taking his life but then said how his new sober friends all said he is way to hard on himself and that he is worth something.
I asked what his plan was going forward but since he was intoxicated it was pointless.
Haven’t heard from him.
Last time he drank while taking naltrexone he ended up in the er so we will see...

 

[elizabrary]

I'm sorry. Relapse sucks. I'm in the midst of it with my daughter. It's such a hopeless and helpless feeling. Be kind to yourself and try to do something you enjoy to keep your mind occupied. Sending positive energy your way.

 

[Elsi]

I'm so sorry. I hope this is just a temporary set back. Give us an update when you know something. Big hugs.

 

[RN0441]

I'm sorry to hear this.

He has to take control of his life and find healthy ways to deal with anxiety, anger and disappointment as we all do.

I hope that he is able to find his way out of this.

Hugs to you and please try to take care of yourself.

 

[tryingtobestrong]

So he drank all day yesterday. Text me this morning at 3am that he was not able to stop drinking even though the wanted to.... Said he was vomiting blood earlier.. so I facetimed him... he was leaving a bar!
I suggested detox and he said not after just 2 days.. He ended up calling the girlfriend most likely ex now and wouldn't stop. He redials constantly so she reached out to my daughter and asked her to tell him to stop. I text him then and got told to F off...
Later today he sent me a text that seemed normal and I felt positive that he was able to get back on right... Well that was short lived. Just got a drunk call from him and I couldn't even talk. So disgusted. He said he wasn't going into work until lunch tomorrow... I am sure the boss knows he relapsed again.

SO, what does one do during this time? Just sit and wait until he reaches out to ask for help again? I know it has to be up to him to want help. I was so optimistic that last time because he asked for help and stayed the full 30 days. My heart did sink when he refused sober living and then left IOP early. Like my counselor said, he was on the road to relapse because he refuses to take the recommendations.

 

[elizabrary]

What I do during times like this is focus on living my life and being kind to myself. There is nothing you can do to make him do the things he should be doing. If there was anything that you could do that would work, you would have already done it by now and he wouldn't be relapsing. This is up to him. Focus on healthy boundaries and do things that keep your mind busy. Take a hike, go to a movie, read a good book, talk to a friend, take dumb quizzes online. Anything that keeps your focus on you and not him. I know how difficult this is. Sending positive energy your way.

 

[toughlovin]

Oh this is so hard. The thing is this is his journey not yours. You are on your own joirney and one key in a sense is to untie your journies to some extent. I know all too well that is not entirely possible....but you cant recover for him he has to do it. Your recovery is about finding your own life and finding ways to enjoy it and live it whether or not your son is son is sober or not.

 

[tryingtobestrong]

Called me on Wed. am at 2:30am was sober. Talked a big talk about how he was going to get his life together that day and call about sober living, etc... Seemed good at noon then no word.
Yep, back to drinking . Facetimed me at 7pm and said he hated that he couldn't stop. We told him to go to the hospital and get into detox again... I was not very nice at all. I know I am supposed to be supportive but how many times can I say that same things over and over. I am sick of it. Sick of this life.
He said he was going to go to the hospital have not clue if he did. Text him that all I can do is pray for him and I hope that he will reach out to God as well. I seen he wanted to reply but never did.
Should be a real nice Thanksgiving not knowing what is going on. Not even sure he will be able to get into a detox today. He doesn't want to lose his job but I don't know how much longer they will put up with this.
The job isn't important, his life is more so I hope he will soon see this.

 

[toughlovin]

This is the time to find a good parents alanon meeting and to say the serenity prayer to yourself over and over. It is out of your hands. Try to enjoy your day. I understand I am in a similar situation.

 

[Elsi]

Sending hugs and prayers, trying. I hope your day today is peaceful.