carolinwaxhaw
New Member
I have been a member of another parenting group that has disbanded but probably "fit" better in this group. Think I have figured out difficult child - does this equal "Gift from God" and is a euphemism for an adopted child?? If so, I am a single mom (my bio son died on 8/12/04 from a heart attack due to chemo drug for his Stage IV colon cancer; he was not quite 30 years old at the time) I have adopted two daughters from foster care; the oldest one is now 13 and 1/2 years old. She has had some issues with self harm and depression - the first instance was 12/31/10 when she was 12 and texted a friend she was going to "stab (herself) with a knife" and when I learned of this I tok her to a psychiatric. hospital. ER (did not TELL her we were going there - I was panicked, scared she would resist, etc.) and she was hospitalized for 5 days and 6 nights. I never heard "WHY". On 9/17/11 she had a concussion at the first soccer game of the season (note - she had a probable concussion approx age 2 at a new daycare - South Miami Lutheran Preschool - when I picked her up and was given an incident report stating she was found at the bottom of the slide, had slipped through the bars, etc. and they said she was fine and had no had LOC); then Thanksgiving 2005 at Pineville Lake Park, NC she hit her head on parallel bars and vomited in car and taken to ER - no one said she had a concussion or that concussion was even serious but the current therapist (who I love) at the PRTF has gotten research on post-concussive syndrome stating it can cause depression and suicide. My daughter learned about cutting in an adolescent behavioral health ctr as she was given Amantadine (google it - it is bad, I told the neuro concussion expert to check with her psychiatric re: this medication and that is why she got 100 mgs per day and not 200 mgs per day) and she had an attempt (overdose of 25 baby aspirin at school) after a boy terminated their VERY short term relationship) She had 2 attention seeking instances of cutting on her wrist with soft scissors 4 days after discharge; re-admitted to difff. psychiatric unit; then a week or two after that discharge spent the day with us and brought a friend who was supposed to sleep over but got a "better offer" and changed plans and my daughter was then posting on facebook that she was bleeding, etc and I did not know and one of her friends saw and called 911 and back to psychiatric unit; then home for about 2 weeks; cheeking medications!!!!!!! and Friday before New Year's she felt excluded by her TWO BEST FRIENDS and the next night took 6 seroquel and called her friend who called me. Praise God she had cheeked medications for 2 weeks and there were even MORE pills (Celexa and Seroquel) at home that she COULD have taken but did not.. soooo she went to the same psychiatric hospital again and psychiatrist had said at prior discharge if she returned she was moving herself to an out of home placement and even her mother would not be able to stop that (I would not want to stop that as I am terrified that I am inadequate to keep her safe!!!) and the psychiatrist is great and he has been wonderful to deal with. Anyway - PRTF found but could not take her till March 20 so she stayed at hospital till several kids were discharged at once, she felt abandoned, she TRIED to talk with the hospital staff who DID NOT talk with her (my daughter is very low key) and she then tied a shoelace around her neck and walked herself to the nurse's station and I recently learned she had a very brief loss of consciousness. So because of that the psychiatrist had her transferred (a week later) to a state mental hospital and I have been going totally crazy with grief and upsetment through All of this. ANYWAY she spent 5 weeks there and is now at the PRTF and has been there at PRTF since 3/20/12 and is slated to be there thru about August 20th or Sept 20th. She was the 4th child of a cocaine abusing bio mom (no info on bio dad) but she is aware that of the five children - four of them have been placed with the parents of each of their bio dad; and one dad took his son and she is the only one in a non-relative placement. a nurse at the state mental hospital (i absolutely hated that place on several levels) very kindly said - maybe she is the lucky one... aaawww. another nurse there - - who i hated -- said stuff that he was surprised given her history that she had not gotten to the hospital sooner, he implied she needed to be there; he implied it was the best place to have a suicide attempt, and he implied she may be there for the remainder of her life.... none of which was good for me to hear and I did not think ANY of it was appropriate for a psychiatric nurse to tell a parent. My daughter's IQ is about 119; another nurse at the state mental hospital when talking with me about my shock over this and how much my daughter is loved, etc. said - maybe she does not love herself.... which I cannot imagine.
I have read a few posts here and am comforted that we are not the only family dealing with this repeated stuff!! I cannot bear an out of home placement for her; I do know she is doing relatively well where she is and I CHOSE the place she is at and am somewhat happy - the ONLY thing I liked about the state mental hospital was some of the nurses were kind telling me to call anytime and that no one called about some of their patients; and the only thing I DON'T like about the PRTF is the cottage staff do not seem able to answer the phone Mon-Wed prior to 10 pm..... My daughter's outgoing calls are only 2x per week and are Thurs/Sat and I see her on the weekend but she is 2.5 hours away (one way) and I go up on Friday for family therapy and go back usually on Sunday for the day. She's able to go out on pass with us for about 7 hours at a time but NOT back home yet. Her friends and relationships with her peers are "triggers."
Soooooo - - (also my younger daughter is 9 - their bdays are 11/10/98 and 11/11/02 --- 4 years and 1 day apart and they are not biologically related),
I would love to have some feedback from anyone, everyone; there was a post on here that I cannot find - i went through too fast, and think it is a few years ago about a family who's child was placed in Missouri (??) not sure of the state and the facility had a book written about it. if ANYONE is familiar with that post and that place and that book, please let me know,
I don't know how some of you do this. I am trying to get my courage back - - if I did not mention this I am an older (56) single adoptive mom and do not have family here in NC and do not have close family anyway--grateful we have nice neighbors. I am very religious and trying to make sure we go to church more frequently; trying to go to a local parent support group - - on top of EVERYTHING I lost my job on 3/21/12 (the day after she was admitted to the PRTF!!!) and it is hard to get a job as the last offer I was made was rescinded when I told them I had to go to the PRTF 1x per week for now....
I references WNC Gal as it looks like one of her posts shows she has been through similar stuff with her daughter I really like the new therapist -- they seem to be progressive with DBT, EAGALA (now my daughter thinks this is stupid but it has been tremendously effective with me) and they have EMDR (have not done that with my daughter yet) and she believes a lot of my daughter's problems are post-concussion syndrome.....
Would love to hear from all of you, Grateful for your feedback and support and hope I can support someone too (what is horrific is I was a telephone crisis counselor at Switchboard of Miami about 27 years ago......)
Thanks!
Carol
I have read a few posts here and am comforted that we are not the only family dealing with this repeated stuff!! I cannot bear an out of home placement for her; I do know she is doing relatively well where she is and I CHOSE the place she is at and am somewhat happy - the ONLY thing I liked about the state mental hospital was some of the nurses were kind telling me to call anytime and that no one called about some of their patients; and the only thing I DON'T like about the PRTF is the cottage staff do not seem able to answer the phone Mon-Wed prior to 10 pm..... My daughter's outgoing calls are only 2x per week and are Thurs/Sat and I see her on the weekend but she is 2.5 hours away (one way) and I go up on Friday for family therapy and go back usually on Sunday for the day. She's able to go out on pass with us for about 7 hours at a time but NOT back home yet. Her friends and relationships with her peers are "triggers."
Soooooo - - (also my younger daughter is 9 - their bdays are 11/10/98 and 11/11/02 --- 4 years and 1 day apart and they are not biologically related),
I would love to have some feedback from anyone, everyone; there was a post on here that I cannot find - i went through too fast, and think it is a few years ago about a family who's child was placed in Missouri (??) not sure of the state and the facility had a book written about it. if ANYONE is familiar with that post and that place and that book, please let me know,
I don't know how some of you do this. I am trying to get my courage back - - if I did not mention this I am an older (56) single adoptive mom and do not have family here in NC and do not have close family anyway--grateful we have nice neighbors. I am very religious and trying to make sure we go to church more frequently; trying to go to a local parent support group - - on top of EVERYTHING I lost my job on 3/21/12 (the day after she was admitted to the PRTF!!!) and it is hard to get a job as the last offer I was made was rescinded when I told them I had to go to the PRTF 1x per week for now....
I references WNC Gal as it looks like one of her posts shows she has been through similar stuff with her daughter I really like the new therapist -- they seem to be progressive with DBT, EAGALA (now my daughter thinks this is stupid but it has been tremendously effective with me) and they have EMDR (have not done that with my daughter yet) and she believes a lot of my daughter's problems are post-concussion syndrome.....
Would love to hear from all of you, Grateful for your feedback and support and hope I can support someone too (what is horrific is I was a telephone crisis counselor at Switchboard of Miami about 27 years ago......)
Thanks!
Carol