Strange ??? -- is there a drug that can stain walls??

[keista]

And yet it is real. You are not going crazy, but you do need to learn a whole new set of parenting/coping skills and QUICK.

Latest cans of compressed air that I purchased have a warning on the front of the can that it "contains a bittering agent to discourage inhalant abuse" I am still waiting for the registers to beep and ask for an age when I purchase whipped cream and Pam, but it's been happening for all sorts of other aerosol products including hair spray.

 

[HaoZi]

Wow. I didn't even consider huffing when I mentioned the whipped cream. I use it at work and know what it looks like when you miss wiping it off the walls now and then and my thoughts on using it in the bathroom were for other recreational purposes.

Time to change the locks at the very least if he gave them access while he was out of town with you.

 

[DDD]

Have you tried asking? You may get a simple answer and then can have the culprits clean it up. DDD

 

[feelinghelplesss]

I haven't asked because I know I'll just get lies. Most likely--"we weren't in your bathroom", or "we don't know anything about it."

Believe or not I just went to the grocery store and bought whipped cream. I actually felt guilty buying the stuff...like the cashier thought I was going to go home and "huff"!! How ridiculous! Hahaha! I went home and sprayed some on my bathroom wall in a different area. I want to see what happens and if it ends up looking like my other walls. If it does, I plan on informing all the parents of the kids that I know were here. Their ages are 18-19 and they all live at home during the summer, so I really don't consider them "adults." I won't be able to say for certain that they were huffing, but it will also give me a chance to inform these parents of everything that I DO know for certain.

If it were my kid and I was clueless, I would want someone to tell me.

 

[DDD]

Good job, Sherlock! You made me laugh describing the purchase. Funny, isn't it, how even as adults we "think" someone may suspect we are up to no good. Shame this generation doesn't get it, lol. DDD

 

[Nancy]

I'll be anxious to hear what this turns out to be. I would change the locks.

Nancy

 

[DammitJanet]

I am completely shocked how unaware some folks my age are as to some of this stuff! Where were you guys in the 70's? Asleep? I know there are parents here who are even older than I am so they were around for Woodstock! I was alive for it but I wasnt old enough to go though I would have ridden my two-wheeler if I could have...lol.

This generation didnt invent this stuff! Like I have always told my kids, they cant get anything past me because I was there long before them and I wrote the book about it...lol.

 

[Hound dog]

Like I have always told my kids, they cant get anything past me because I was there long before them and I wrote the book about it...lol.

LOL Me too Janet. Although I have to admit I didn't know about the huffing part. Well, I did, but not whipped cream of all things. lol My kids will probably never know to what extent a difficult child their mother was.

 

[DammitJanet]

Lisa, I knew about whipped cream but we got even more daring. We simply "borrowed" a tank of dental grade nitrous oxide off the back of one of those trucks that delivers them...lmao

 

[HaoZi]

Like I said, huffing is not the first recreational use of whipped cream I think of.
I had friends that did a lot of different drugs, but I only knew one that huffed and he died from it, so it's not the first thing I think of. I have to remember to pay more attention to that stuff.

 

[feelinghelplesss]

I was about as straight laced a kid as they come. Never drank until I was of legal age (19 back in the day). Never touched ANY type of drug! In junior high I heard about some of my friends sniffing something like glue and declared they were no longer my friends. I guess I lived a "sheltered" life. . . which I am thankful for.

As an adult I've heard of huffing, probably from the Oprah show (LOL), but never knew any one that did it. It's really scary the risks that kids will take to have a few seconds of fun!

 

[DDD]

Is it possible that it was used for sex games? The idea came to my mind last night. DDD

 

[feelinghelplesss]

I'm starting to think it wasn't whipped cream. My test revealed a different result than what I found on my walls. I'm going to stop by the police station today just to describe the "scene" and see what they think.

If it was drug or huffing related, I want to know so I can alert parents to the stupidity. If the cops can't help, I guess I'll have to ask the kids themselves...who will most likely lie. Either way, the messed up my walls doing something. Maybe it was some sort of deodorant spray to mask another smell...though there doesn't appear to be any odor. Very mysterious.

 

[DammitJanet]

It is also possible that your son and his friend have been smoking in that bathroom for longer than you know and he told them to clean it up while you guys were gone. If you try to spray wash smoke from walls with something like 409 it will just drip down the wall and form a brownish gunk. If you could post a picture here we might be able to give you a better idea.

I smoke cigarettes and tried to clean my walls by doing the above and it was just a nasty mess. I should have just left it alone.

 

[seriously]

Some clues that might indicate the possible illegal production or sales of drugs are chemical staining on walls and floors. Given the size of the bathroom I doubt this would explain what you found but I would not go in there or touch anything anymore until you have the police come check it out.

I read up a little on illegal drug production damage to walls and it looks like the most typical damage is reddish stains/coloring.

Since the walls are a dark brown (right?) you might not have noticed that.

Hopefully this is not the issue and there is some other "dumb kids" explanation that fits better and doesn't involve life threatening activities like huffing.

Please tell us that you are kicking him out today?? Did you at least change the locks and refuse him a key so he (and his friends) can only come and go when you are there?

This is the kind of thing that sends chills up my spine.

When our difficult child 1 was home, we drew the line at ever letting him be home alone after we came home and found that someone had been exploding cherry pits in our microwave. Given that he is in a wheelchair and could never under any circumstances have reached the over-the-stove microwave, someone else was doing it "for" him.

I speak from experience - please take the threats to your entire family's well being seriously. Your son's choices could rob all of you of a home through fire or poisoning of the premises for drug production, all your good memories not to mention stuff if there was a fire, and there is no doubt that it could mean the loss of a life.

He is NOT accepting the fact that these kinds of things can happen as a result of his choices.

He is addicted so of course he is blind to these things which can happen in the blink of an eye. You can go from a beautiful morning to the nightmare of your life in a matter of an hour.

Please take action to protect yourself and YOUR OTHER CHILDREN.

 

[donna723]

Could it be residue from some other product that comes in a can with the propellant that kids use to get high? I've seen powders like foot sprays that come in the same kind of can.

"Huffing" is one of the most dangerous things a kid can do and the damage is usually irreversible. When I worked at the prison we had an inmate that was a fairly clean cut guy and halfway intelligent. But then he got hooked on sniffing chemicals that they use for furniture refinishing and it wasn't long before he was virtually unrecognizable! He was wild and dissheveled looking and made no sense at all when he talked. He had severe neurological damage that was permanent. The other inmates gave him the nickname "Seaweed" and it really fit!

 

[feelinghelplesss]

UPDATE--

Talked to the cops, they have no idea what could have happened in the bathroom. I give up. I will ask the "ring leader" of the party, but don't know if I'll get an answer.

I found out how the kids got in...my difficult child left a window open. Probably the one in his room. It's basement level and I didn't go in his room before we left to check things out. The air conditioning was on and I just naturally figured no one would've opened a window. Stupid me! Unfortunately, $300 cash was stolen. $200 of my daughter's babysitting money that was in her dresser drawer and $100 that I had in a drawer that was next to my bed (that I had set aside to send to a local family in need of financial help because of the father's terminal illness). Extremely upsetting. I've reported it to the police and they will investigate. But I have little hope of getting it back.

The good news is all the keys are accounted for and no one that shouldn't have a key has one. Including my son. He never did, so couldn't have made a copy.

I haven't kicked him out yet. It's the next step. One more issue and he'll have to leave. I've told him so. Please don't beat me up for that. This whole situation is new to me and I'm taking it one step at a time. My son can't drive our cars and I've turned off his cell phone that I pay for. He's feeling the hurt. I've challenged him to stop smoking pot for a week. He says he can do it. I told him that I'll ask him at the end of 7 days if he was able to do it. Only he will know the truth, because of course I can't trust him. He'll know in his heart if he's successful. Also, I found a LADC who is a former addict that I'm going to send him to.

THANKS SO MUCH for ALL the help and ideas that were thrown around. I do know that no one has smoked pot in my bathroom. If you knew the layout of our house, you'd understand...it wouldn't make any sense to risk doing that.

 

[HaoZi]

Only he will know the truth, because of course I can't trust him.

You can buy a test kit for home use. Just don't let him know in advance so he can't cheat it.

 

[feelinghelplesss]

Too late, unfortunately, I just caught my son getting ready to smoke in his bathroom. I heard the fan start and I knew something was up. There was a towel under the door. I walked in and BINGO!
Now I have to kick him out. He's going to live with with his dad. I'm taking him tomorrow morning. He does NOT want to go, so it's good. His dad is (my ex) is being very supportive and I think he'll stay on top of things. This is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, but at least I'm not having to put him out on the streets. He's begging and pleading. He's crying. He's saying he'll quit. He says he'll prove it. I told him he can't prove it. He said "drug test me!" I said it stays in your system for several weeks. He said 'test me next week.' I tried to explain that it doesn't work that way and he's not seeming to get it. I hope it's just desperation and not stupidity.

I hope and pray that this is the kick in the ass he needs to wake up. He has no friends where is dad lives and no car. He'll be pretty isolated. It's going to suck for him. GOOD!

 

[seriously]

He will tell you whatever he thinks he has to in order to get you to do what he wants.

The fact is that he had a choice and he knew the consequences depending on what he chose to do.

Good job following through and I sure hope Dad is going to be tough on him too. It would not be a good idea for him to bounce back and forth between you two.

Sometimes, as harsh as this may sound, it is best to put them out on the streets from the very start. I say that because it seems like a lot of the time they don't really get it until that happens. In the meantime they may spend years growing more and more entrenched in their addictions, broaden the type and seriousness of their addictions and gradually destroy every relationship they have to the point it is nearly impossible to recover.

I think it would be really helpful for you and your X to have a discussion where you lay out the nitty gritty details of how things will be at Dads. For example, what are going to be the rules at Dad's house? What is Dad going to require that difficult child do as a member of the household (i.e. chores, job, etc.)? What will happen when/if difficult child screws up and gets caught doing drugs there?

If you both know what to expect and are on the same page then your difficult child cannot play you against each other.

Hugs - it's very hard to stand firm but you have to do it for your son's sake.