T
toughlovin
Guest
Hi all,
Well difficult child called me on my cell today. I knew when I saw it was him calling something was up because he usually texts me....When I asked how he was doing he said horrible. Apparently they think he is still using and he says he has not used for the last week and a half since he has been in the more restrictive place. Apparently they drug tested him again and he still showed positive I assume for Spice. They said it only stays in his system up to 48 hours. He was adamant that he hadnt used, but said he used a lot before he was caught.
He sounded sincere, and upset, and so a part of me believes him.... and a part of me doesn't because I know he lies... although usually when he screws up like this he doesn't call me... but yeah if that was the only way he thought he could get what he wanted he certainly would. I also know that testing for spice is pretty new so it might be possible it would still show as positive.
They told him something about having to go to treatment..... or leave I assume. We have not yet heard from them. He doesn't think he needs treatment because he didn't use and in fact he doesn't think they will take him because he thinks he will test clean. I suggested going back to treatment as an option and he sort of said why that doesn't make sense.
He was mad at the place and was starting to get heated at me.... although not impolitely if you know what I mean.
I stayed calm and at one point I said I was just brainstorming ideas. I asked him what he wanted me to do. I really think he was hoping I would sort of figure out where he could go. He said he wanted to go to a different place etc. I finally said look I am done trying to figure out where you should go and find the place for you. All we want is for you to be in recovery (if I had read that article maybe I would have said in discovery_... and you need to figure out the best way to do that.
I asked him if he was seeing a therapist and he said he was in the IOP program and he was going tonight. So I said talk to the therapist and figure out what the best thing to do is. You need to be the one to find another place but we are willing to help with the finances.... so when you find something else call and talk to us about it.
So he texted me tonight.... said he has found another place with a bunch of services. I asked him a bunch of questions and now I haven't heard back from him. I may call him before we go to bed tonight.
I did ask him if he now thought he had a drug problem. He said "Sure" in a way that was just agreeing but not meaning it. I called him on it and asked him again. He said I am not sure.
I know I probably sound like I am backing down from my strong stand.... but as I read that book Nancy suggested and thought about it I do want to support him in recovery. I know he is probably not really committed to it, but forcing him on the street when he is still willing to go to a place for help does not seem like the right thing to do. Especially with those 3 deaths i read about, I am feeling kind of scared. I just dont want to indirectly push him into more drug use if you know what I mean.
I do need to know about the place he would go... it does need to be a sober living place. And we definitely won't pay for him to come back here.
So we shall see what happens next and which direction we go on that roller coaster.
TL
Well difficult child called me on my cell today. I knew when I saw it was him calling something was up because he usually texts me....When I asked how he was doing he said horrible. Apparently they think he is still using and he says he has not used for the last week and a half since he has been in the more restrictive place. Apparently they drug tested him again and he still showed positive I assume for Spice. They said it only stays in his system up to 48 hours. He was adamant that he hadnt used, but said he used a lot before he was caught.
He sounded sincere, and upset, and so a part of me believes him.... and a part of me doesn't because I know he lies... although usually when he screws up like this he doesn't call me... but yeah if that was the only way he thought he could get what he wanted he certainly would. I also know that testing for spice is pretty new so it might be possible it would still show as positive.
They told him something about having to go to treatment..... or leave I assume. We have not yet heard from them. He doesn't think he needs treatment because he didn't use and in fact he doesn't think they will take him because he thinks he will test clean. I suggested going back to treatment as an option and he sort of said why that doesn't make sense.
He was mad at the place and was starting to get heated at me.... although not impolitely if you know what I mean.
I stayed calm and at one point I said I was just brainstorming ideas. I asked him what he wanted me to do. I really think he was hoping I would sort of figure out where he could go. He said he wanted to go to a different place etc. I finally said look I am done trying to figure out where you should go and find the place for you. All we want is for you to be in recovery (if I had read that article maybe I would have said in discovery_... and you need to figure out the best way to do that.
I asked him if he was seeing a therapist and he said he was in the IOP program and he was going tonight. So I said talk to the therapist and figure out what the best thing to do is. You need to be the one to find another place but we are willing to help with the finances.... so when you find something else call and talk to us about it.
So he texted me tonight.... said he has found another place with a bunch of services. I asked him a bunch of questions and now I haven't heard back from him. I may call him before we go to bed tonight.
I did ask him if he now thought he had a drug problem. He said "Sure" in a way that was just agreeing but not meaning it. I called him on it and asked him again. He said I am not sure.
I know I probably sound like I am backing down from my strong stand.... but as I read that book Nancy suggested and thought about it I do want to support him in recovery. I know he is probably not really committed to it, but forcing him on the street when he is still willing to go to a place for help does not seem like the right thing to do. Especially with those 3 deaths i read about, I am feeling kind of scared. I just dont want to indirectly push him into more drug use if you know what I mean.
I do need to know about the place he would go... it does need to be a sober living place. And we definitely won't pay for him to come back here.
So we shall see what happens next and which direction we go on that roller coaster.
TL