Hi Copa,
I have done it by phone. When I did it, here is how it worked. You dial the number and then there is a code that you will be prompted to put in. (It is listed right with the phone number) They will have a leader and then to speak you have to press a number (#6 for instance) and the entire group will be able to hear you. You then press it again to have your phone silenced and others respond to you. It sounds awkward, but it works. I used it at night when I don't like to go out as the meetings then are in another county and too late for me.
I have the 3 Al-anon daily readers and read them every morning. Sometimes if I miss a morning and read it at night I kick myself because there might have been a situation I would have reacted differently to if I had seen the reading. I also look at their indexes and will pick out a topic that's eating me....resentment, worry, fear and will read on that topic. It helps bring me down off the ledge. Another book that has been particularly helpful has been Opening our Hearts/Transforming our Losses. Very good for people in our situation. All of these are available on the Al-Anon website and some are on Amazon.
I am sorry you are struggling. Recovery for parents in our situation is ongoing and certainly in no way resembles a straight line. This is something my Al-Anon sponsor gave me when I was in the depths and was really struggling. God is my higher power so it applies to me in its current form, but you could easily substitute gratitude, love, spiritually, nature. I hope it helps you. Here it is.
"Be on guard against the pit of self-pity. When you are weary or unwell, this demonic trap is the greatest danger you face. Don't even go near the edge of the pit. Its edges crumble easily, and before you know it, you are on the way down. It is ever so much harder to get out of the pit than to keep a safe distance from it. That is why I tell you to be on guard.
There are several ways to protect yourself from self-pity. When you are occupied with praising and thanking Me, it is impossible to feel sorry for yourself. Also, the closer you live to me, the more distance there is between you and the pit. Live in the Light of My Presence by fixing your eyes on Me. Then you will be able to run with endurance the race that is set before you, without stumbling or falling."
It jars me back on track because of the self-pity part. I have it on my nightstand. It's a good tool for me. Another thing I have been doing since my grandson has returned home is before I do anything...turn on my computer, go to the grocery store, do laundry, I make myself do 2 things FOR MYSELF. My readings can count as one. Working out can be one. Taking my dogs for a walk, another. Phoning a friend, another. It's hard for me to do it, but it has helped. Let's keep talking Copa. I am pulling for you and hope I can help you the way you have helped and supported me so much in the past. I'll check out the online meetings and see what I can figure out or will ask my sponsor on Tuesday. xoxoxo