Tools in the toolbox of CHANGE!

[Scent of Cedar *]

not feeling guilty and to blame for his lifestyle
choices, not regretting what might have been but
just accepting what is

Just lately ~ just very, very lately...I have been wondering what the mothers of spiritual seekers have thought about what their seemingly difficult child children did. Talking to either of my kids, but mostly abundantly, when talking to difficult child daughter (probably because difficult child son only speaks swear language with me these days!)

Ahem.

Talking with difficult child daughter is like listening to someone genuinely unlike anyone I have ever spoken with. She is so generous, sees so well, seems so forgiving. She treats herself and her child exceedingly well when she has money, and they just accept poverty, including begging in the streets, when the money is gone.

husband told her he wasn't giving her anymore money, since she blew hers at the casino. She said, "I know, Dad. It'll be alright."

She always thinks everything is going to be alright.

We talked, one time, about how everyone wanted her to feel vengeance for the male who beat her. She didn't then, and doesn't, now. Fear. That, she feels, in the sense of getting away from where she is before he is released. But not vengeance or hatred.

I have heard that kind of thing so many times, here on the Board. The kids don't really care whether they have homes, or cars, prestige or food.

The Russians used to believe the mentally ill had been touched by God, that they were sacred. In many countries, a spiritual quest, replete with walking away from life, with begging, is something that happens.

Cedar spits a stream of tobacco juice into the dust, disgusted with her capacity for rationalization. But....

. It involves just enough short-term memory loss that I forget what I am supposed to be worrying about, lol

HA!

:O)

Anything you focus on will bring results. (that's OUR focus on OUR lives, not on somebody else's life).

however, as I have gotten older I recognize that that love has to begin with loving myself. The Buddhist guideline of loving kindness and doing no harm includes doing no harm to myself, with judgments, blame, expectations, fears, all of it. It also means turning that compassion onto myself. My observation is that when we are younger our focus is external as opposed to internal. Turning that light inward can lead to a richness and wholeness which can't seem to be accessed well in the busyness of life. We have to make time for that, time for ourselves and time to connect with our interpretation of divinity.

honoring ourselves

This is an incredible thread, COM.

Cedar

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

Music. Music is an incredible tool.

"Although some nights, some profoundly human nights, the ecstasy of music feels more essential than bread, more thirst-quenching than water or wine. It can speak to and inspire one's actual will to live, one's desire for joy.

"'If music be the food of love, play on." wrote Shakespeare."

Mama Gena's Owners and Operators Guide to Men
Regena Thomashauer

***************

Funny movies about family. difficult child daughter is always trying to get me to fall in love with "Failure to Launch". She and difficult child son love that movie, and have watched it together more than once.

Ew.

Christmas Vacation ~ love that, and what it says about family.

Point of No Return. Always makes me think of difficult child daughter.

Jaws, as was discussed here on the site one time. We were comparing the feeling of an addicted child to the music and experience of the shark, coming at the boat.

We had such alot of fun with that one, here on the site.

Recovering concluded that we needed a bigger boat.

Remember, Recovering?

Ha!

That was such a miserable time for all of us. I am so glad we were able to laugh about it, a little.

The Rawhide thing that we just did. Remember that?

That kind of humor can get me through, alot. I feel heard, recognized, spoken to, when I can identify with some of those things to change the way I feel about the situation with my kids.

There is a Melinda Lambert song: Not My Mama's Broken Heart. That is my difficult child to a T.

:O)

I don't think they make one about swearing at your mom, or I would have one for difficult child son, too.

Cedar