Hello all, so sorry for the long hiatus, thank you Copa for your message and loving concern. Hoo boy, where to start. It’s been one heck of a summer.
Son completed his college prep program and came home for a week or so then felt that dorming would be much better for him. He received some more scholarship funds that paid for it (phew!) and met with the school and despite the late decision was able to get a room. Yay son! He had a scare experimenting with vaping marijuana, had shortness of breath, and decided that it was not for him. It was hard for me not to go into lecture mode and is extremely scary considering his sisters track record. I asked him to go see a doctor, with all of the recent news on vaping pot and severe lung damage, even death, I hope he learned his lesson. GULP.
He seems to be enjoying school. I miss him. He asked to go to lunch this weekend so hopefully we can catch up.
The grands are settling down a bit. Counseling is helping, but is also traumatic as they purge and process memories, it effects them all over again. At first there was some complaining, but I explained to them that holding in all of the things they went through is like having a bad stomachache and needing to vomit, but trying not to.
Those memories come out in bits and pieces when we have one on one time, and it is hard for me to hear. They have gone through so much in their young lives.
We had our second conference and Dad did not show. So, to court we go. Sigh.
Tornado made an appearance at the house, the kids saw someone outside and were saying “Who is that just walking in the yard?” I looked out and after a bit, realized it was their mother. She was dressed like a gang member, red bandana hanging from her back pocket, hair dyed pink, wearing a beanie in 90 degree heat. She walked into the house nonchalantly, the kids have not seen her but for Instagram selfie posts, for three years...... She was distracted as I explained to her the situation and that the goal was still for parents to take steps to get well enough to be reunified with the kids. That otherwise they may be looking at terminating parental rights. No reaction. Just “I need time to digest all of this.”
Huh.
Of course, the weekend was hell, as the kids acted out after the encounter.
Rinse, repeat.
Next week, I go for training classes for my foster license. Been fingerprinted, background checked, home inspected, interviewed, Hoku commented that if only the kids parents were so intensely reviewed and examined years ago.
My hope is that my grands can recover and grab their lives back. I keep telling them that they don’t have to repeat the cycle. They don’t have to yell and scream, we discuss. It is a Herculean effort at times to keep up my invisible force shield and not absorb the angst that comes out of their pores.
The interviewer asked me “And how do you discuss finances with the children?” I told her that that hasn’t happened yet, the immediate goal is to get them to live peaceably, be kind to one another. It’s hard to discuss allowance when putting out fires, settling multiple conflicts daily. Identifying triggers, the whole nine yards, I mean this is not regular sibling rivalry we are dealing with.
The last question was, “In one sentence explain why you are doing this.”
Answer.
Because I love them.
I hope that is enough.
Thank you all for your support.
One day at a time.
Hugs and love,
Leafy
