We need to post more to keep this resource.

I have not posted for a while. The reason is I was looking up detachment quotes on Pinterest and came across a whole thread discussion from this site. It had been posted on Pinterest. This really bothered me as I thought our posts were safe from social media.


I have been concerned about this for some time as there is a share button (looks like sideways ”V”) above every post. Probably best to take it up with admin. I have mentioned it previously to admin. when there was a Facebook share icon on every post shortly after the format was changed. That icon was deleted but then this one popped up. I sort of feel I might have made a pest of myself, but it is very concerning to me that there would even be the possibility of sharing anything from what I thought is a confidential site (other than articles, etc.) After all, everyone is encouraged to use pseudonyms to maintain confidentiality. But, there really is none when our posts can be shared all over the internet. For that reason, I don’t post much about my situation.


Well-Known Member
Gosh. I am concerned by this too. I thought this concern had been addressed by RB. I have spilled my guts here on these threads over the years believing that it was confined to this site. I know in the bylaws that we lose control over what we post. That by posting we consent that whatever is done with our posts, we have surrendered the right to consent. But this seems of another order altogether. I don't know what to do.
It was put on Pinterest in 2016. But it is still there and can be accessed still. I actually signed out of my account and went to Pinterest and went into it and could then access current threads from there including this thread just now. Here is a picture I took of it.


Staff member
I removed the copy link symbol which I had not noticed until @Copabanana messaged me about it. Not sure what else I can do to prevent people from sharing links to this site onto privacy disrespecting social media. We do not post real names here so I don't know of any way any of this can be traced back to members participating here. If I'm missing anything please let me know.


Well-Known Member
When I first read this I was really concerned, however when I thought about it, I realised that anyone can access this forum and read the posts here. You don’t have to be a member to read, it’s only if you want to post that you need to join. So it’s up to us to protect our anonymity by not posting any identifying information about ourselves or our families.
I have been posting here for two years and have read hundreds of posts. I feel a real connection to many people here, but I have no idea who they are in real life.
I guess what I’m saying is I don’t think this is as big of an issue as it first appears. I very much value my anonymity (I have a public profile in my home country so it’s important to me not to be identified) which is why I prefer this board to a Facebook group for example. But anyone can see posts here, so (to me) it doesn’t really make a difference if people can access the posts through Pinterest or any other way. They still don’t have access to any identifying information about me, and that’s what counts in my opinion.

No place on the internet is ever completely secure. For instance I’m accessing this forum on my phone. If I wanted to (and I promise I would NEVER do this) I could take a screenshot of this post and publish that photo elsewhere. So no matter what safeguards the admins put in place there’s no way to completely guard against this sort of thing. I guess there could be a specific mention in a pinned post at the top of each forum mentioning that sharing anything from this site is against forum rules.


Well-Known Member
Just my general thoughts... That is why being careful with identity is important. Of course never using your name. I would say avoiding using your city name. State only. Or state and general area of the state...upper side of NY for example. Saying what general field you are in. instead of the specific field or job. It’s not fool proof, but it might avoid a person rapidly zeroing in on your identity. And give you some comfort should in the unlikely event a post of yours is turned into a screen shot and shared elsewhere.


Well-Known Member
I don't post my state and change unimportant details such as ages of anyone. Even when I say Kay (not even one letter in Kay is in her name) am I correct. She is in a state that is in my opinion similar to the state I said she was in. Our business has been deliberately not derailed. Just taking.no chances.

I'm not afraid. I will keep posting.


Well-Known Member
Yes…probably not even saying the state might be good. One might say “central US,” for example to give a very general location. No names. No careers or jobs. One might consider something like semi professional field. A technical field. A minimum wage job. Vague terms. Extremely general. Enough to get some very general background. I think leaving out location and names the top priority….no initials either. No specific age…general there too. But perhaps something like “teenager,” 20’s 30’s , young adult. Middle aged. Just no specific.

We are in the northeast US
My son is a teen
J. (not his actual initial)
Just got a minimum wage job in the community.
The problem is…

Do you all think this would be next to impossible to zero in on?
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Active Member
I am sorry Busy. I believe I am the one who you felt attacked by. I am nobody and in no position to scold anybody. And, I have pulled back greatly from posting.

What I reacted to, and it was wrong of me, was something in myself. A knee-jerk need to deny what is in front of my face. I have a great need to hold onto fantasy and hope, not only because of my son but because of my own past. I seem to have needed to blot out my own feelings of pain and despair. So what we are talking about here is a projection on my part. The need to blot out in others, what is really in me. In the past year especially I am more aware, but this doesn't account for the pain I have caused by my self-limitation.

It's ironic that in the first few years I was here, I reacted to somebody in the same way you experience me. I saw her as critical and overbearing and negative. I am seeing that what I reacted to in her, was the mirror image of myself. I am sorry, Busy.

I will comment now on your observation about the board. I think the board is in transition. I see a number of old members returning and little by little new members coming on. I think for the past couple of years the board has become gentler and more self-disclosive. We are bringing more of ourselves here. For good and ill. Those are just my thoughts. Like you, I believe there is a great commitment to this board, as well as a great need for it. I also believe this board can tolerate honesty and clear voices, and difference--as well as vulnerability. I am grateful to you for your honesty. I would like to believe you appreciate my own.
I always felt your advice & feelings have helped me tremendously over these past 3 years and honestly I look forward to it because it’s put so much in my life in perspective. I needed the honesty from you & everyone else to help me get through these difficult times . Everyone here has helped & continues to help me through this dark times.

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I’m also an older member. This board was a life saver when my son was 5 until about age 17 or so. He is 24 now. I hope for others this group continues. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without it.