Why is life so hard for some of us?

[Dollhouse]

Everyone's responses are so well crafted -- it's nice to read!

At this point, this moment -- I wish I could see things for the positive and feel that all will be well. I've tried to help my son so many times and nothing seems to work. I also have to note that there are things I didn't do (follow-through, boundaries, etc) so -- I do take the blame for 'some' of the things that I could have controlled.

This is where I'm at with my journey; and yes, things may work out in the end, but right now, I can't see that. Things are so bad, it's hard to have a positive prospective. But alas, I'm still here and hanging in and can only take one day at a time and keep praying!

 

[Nomad]

Doll/JJJ/others...
The issue of mental illness is such a "big" issue for me. The idea of free will and all that. I'm still sorting it all out. I just hope that my difficult child will do the best she can with what she's got. Certainly, entitlement wont serve her in anyway. Look at people like Stevie Wonder. Blind. From a poor background. It takes inner strength and determination to get through great difficulties and it is frustrating and sad to know that for many of our difficult children, their opportunities are limited. But to do the best they can is the value we should enourage. Sadly, we can only encourage it. That decision is a personal choice. I do wish our difficult children did not have to overcome great obstacles. Did not have to make a decision to overcome their burdens as best as they can. But we can wish this until we are blue in the face and that wont change a thing. It is what it is. It wastes time. We can provide comfort for one another. But unfortunatley, we also waste time when we think about our losses in all of this excessively.

 

[Star*]

Had to share this with you.......

Someone I know was going on and on about their "problems" and why life was so so so hard for them. Believe me, I wouldn't want anyone elses' life, but to me on the outside it's a do-able life.

So after going on and on and on - she looks at me (and I really must admit I was bored at this point) and said "Well Star, how do you feel about that?" and I said "I'm the wrong person to ask really - I've felt like a modern day Job since I left home."

There was stunned silence and then I added - "Except for the boils? Yup - Job."

I don't think I'll be having to endure her version of "My life is soooooo much worse than yours." for a long time.

Hugs & boils
Job

 

[DammitJanet]

None of us did everything perfectly. We did what we thought was right at the time and when we figured out that something wasnt working we tried something different. Sometimes that thing helped...or maybe it didnt. A lot of things that happened with our kids can be placed squarely back on the kids. If they didnt buy into what we tried to help them, it probably didnt help. Sometimes nothing works except growing up.

 

[AnnieO]

in my humble opinion...many folks out there have difficult children in their home...they are just denying it to themselves or lying their butts off about it. (Excuse my "French").

Do you know my difficult children' biomom? She swears the kids are perfect and that husband is the problem.

...This is why difficult child 1 has decided to tell the courts that she wants, and I quote, "Supervised visitation [with biomom] at most." And why difficult child 2 has no interest in visiting biomom. Right?

We are all suffering. I get so wrapped up in my own pain, my own "WHY ME?!" and then I come to this board, and sometimes I see myself in you all, and sometimes I see people who have it so much worse than I do. When I feel I can't take it any more, I come visit my new virtual family (you guys). I can cry or laugh, whatever, and I always feel better when I walk away again.

I "chose" my difficult children, not knowing at the time that they were such, but I wouldn't give them back for anything you offered. I didn't give birth to them or change their diapers, but they're mine. Warts and all.

HUGS - 'cause I've got LOOOONNNNNGGGG arms!