Hi there. I've been reading this board for some time and decided that maybe writing my story might help, since there's a real depository of wisdom here. My story is similar to many of yours. My son, now 19 years old, started heading downhill when he was 15. At first it was just smoking pot. Then came the lower academic performance, behavior changes, talking back, aggression, verbal abuse, etc. etc. He got arrested once for possession of drugs at school and got sent to an alternative school. That seemed to help for a while, but then it started all over again. Fast forward to present day... he is enrolled in an online school, but he's not making any progress. He had a few part time jobs but quit each a few weeks after starting. He sleeps most of the day and spends his nights out with his friends. We had him in therapy but he stopped going once he turned 18. No goals or plans whatsoever. He talked about joining the army for a while but did nothing to actually achieve that goal. Right now he talks about moving in with his friends, who are all unemployed druggies. He got arrested again and is on a diversion program. He left home for a few days a few weeks ago after another tantrum, but came back a few days later. We drew some inspiration from this board and made a list of our expectations of him - finish school or get a full-time job, no drugs, therapy. He started yelling and threatening to kill himself because he "can't work" (if you're asking me it's not that he can't, he just won't). Every time I bring it up, he threatens to kill himself and storms out. I was terrified of him actually going through with it until my 16-year-old walked over to me after son stormed out, and said very calmly, "you know, people who really want to kill themselves don't announce it for the whole world to hear, they just do it". I was stunned. She was totally right. He's just manipulating us all over again. I am sad. I'm worried he'd never snap out of it. I used to doubt myself and my functioning as a parent, but looking at my other two kids (who are both successful, one older than him and one younger)... it takes two to tango and it's not just us. But we are part of the equation. I look at his siblings - older brother's about to graduate from a good college, works part-time and has a job lined up. Younger daughter in a dual-enrollment program (she takes courses at our local university instead of high school courses). I don't know what to do. I'm just worried that two-three years from now, we'll find ourselves at the exact same spot.