he has been abusing xanax off and on.
Oh no. RN has a son and Littleboylost, too, I think, that used this. Both young men are recovering now. They went to treatment and they both have been clean from drugs for a significant amount of time.
How did I let this happen to him?
You did not "let" this happen to him. We do not control all of the influences and the circumstances that our adult children encounter. You know this. He chose badly. He can change.
And I can't help him no matter what I try
Welcome to my world, Exhausted sad mom.
My son has done this, the
leave me alone. It is very painful. And it is a lie.
Right now I think you need to find ways to respond to yourself and to your own needs. I would post and post and post and post. That is one coping mechanism for me. I would post on other peoples threads, from your heart and your wisdom and your experience. When you show up like this you become strong. You represent yourself as strong, and you build strength this way. It is kind of a work out. In this way we come to know our strong voice, and to make it stronger.
But at the same time we feel helpless, hurt and desperate. This voice needs to be heard, as well. And that is what we reflect in our own threads. We hear each other in our greatest vulnerability.
I think over time we are able to fuse the two. Our strength and our vulnerability. Which allows us to give over the need to control the situation. We have no control. We just have love and hope and need.
I am sorry this is happening. But this is one moment of time. And there will be a future. For now, I would read other old threads about how others dealt with this. I respect both Little Boy Lost and RN. Using the search function you can find their threads and those of others.
Take care.