A question about holidays

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Triedntrue, Oct 25, 2018.

  1. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    This is so true. You have never turned your back on your son TL. Your relationship with him from what I know of you has always been whole. You have given him your whole self. That is all anybody can do. We cannot promise anybody else.

    Your son has to work to repair that relationship with his sister, if it is important to him.

    But at the same time there is work that your daughter can do, or put a better way, life will work on her. Life can break us down. Break down our sense that we are together or that we know anything or even, if we are whole. Life breaks us. Maybe someday she will experience something in her life that makes her understand son's experience and that allows her to open to him, and step outside of the limits of their current relationship.

    Your son to me sounds like a very sensitive and good person at heart. And I am impressed at how much he has stayed in the game, and kept trying for himself. He touches my heart and he has my admiration.

    I am hopeful that their relationship can heal. But in the heart's time. I would feel bad too.
  2. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Thanks Copa. Both for your hope for my son and your wisdom. Yes with time and experience my daughter may see things differently. Its funny we had dinner with her tonight and we were talking a bit about him..... I have to laugh. I kind of feel like I am in the middle between my husband who is the eternal optimist and doesnt see him realistically and my daughter who regarding my son is a total pessimist and sees no hope. I am hopeful but also realistic.... time will tell.
  3. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Tl. That would give me whiplash between those two.

    I have the same deal. Except between two sides of m. With my son he is infinitely giving and responsible. And at the same time he can be like running into a brick wall.
  4. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    This is a tough one. It’s a running joke in my family - the time alcoholic father threw the turkey in the fireplace, cussed us all out, and headed back to the bar.

    I say, go on a cruise, enjoy yourself, and let the dysfunctional family wallow.
  5. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Well-Known Member

    I have good memories of holidays as a child which makes it difficult. My younger 2 both live about 6 hours away in different directions but are close emotionaly. I am not sure of their plans yet. I hope you enjoy your 3some.
    Thank you for your honesty. Right now my son is trying to be nice so I want to do something that includes him but have been where you are now. He used to have a job where he worked holidays for extra money and that worked but is close by now. I hope you are able someday to reach a point where you can be with him if you choose.

    I will most likely do the same and it is sad. It makes holidays much less pleasant. It is wonderful that your daughter offered to be there for you. That is a blessing.

    I am sorry that your daughters repay your kindness this way. I have used Uber for my son to get him to court and it has worked well.

    Tired out

    Have wished for the same many times. He has a new girlfriend now but due to his past relationships i do not want to get to know her. He may choose to go there.


    I am happy that you are able to have a pleasant holiday with your other kids you deserve it.

    Despairing mom
    I think you should have a peace filled holiday without the dram your daughter and her psycho boyfriend bring.