A question if he never stole from you 2 but your son still remained how he is now will you have have still kicked him out at some point? It connects to the topic here I swear on something that I do not care about.
Well that's hard to say Dad. We put him out originally when he was 18 or so. The short story was that he stole and pawned things and smoked a lot of pot and had melt-downs and left school - graduated because he had enough credits - but was out early. Even after we discovered the thefts, we sent him to college and he sold everything of value we gave him and never attended classes - about $10K of our money down the drain. Even then we took him back in and at that point we told him that if ANYTHING was stolen, he was out. He stole. He was out. We never let him come back until the apartment fire.
Oddly, he seems to think he's been kicked out multiple times, but it was only the one. He was out a few days here and there before that, but it was always his choice to go.
So...clearly we didn't kick him out for anything else. Would we have? Eventually? Maybe.
His coming back this time was dependent on him maintaining employment and saving money to get back out. But we also had other requirements. He was supposed to go to therapy. He hasn't. He was to NOT have these awful meltdowns - he has. After the last one, we told him, "You have enough money. You need to look for a place and be out by the end of October." He said he had a place and took the money he'd saved to pay the deposits, etc. He was warned that if he took the money, he was out. It was saved or spent on housing. Anything else, and he'd be out. In fact, I told him that the day he took it...if he didn't pay a deposit and rent with it, I better have $850 handed back to me, or he would be out.
So...even if he decides not to go to Colorado, he's going to have to move out. There's been no stealing this time, but he has to live by the rules or go. Those are his choices to make. By spending $200 of the $850, he made that choice.
I'm going to throw in here that even now we paid for his train ticket. He did not expect us to, in fact told me not pick an expensive train because he needed as much money as he could keep. So we're still giving him assistance, after everything.