This is very sad.there is a little boy in the house. So someone must be aware. I think it will only be a matter of time before someone takes action.
I hope somebody calls soon.My daughter told me that if it gets any worse that she would make the call for me.
I know it is a concern and you may not agree with my decision to not act now. But can I just say. The police already know the situation and that there is a little boy in the house. They have been called there many times. And every time they have seen the little boy. So they definately know the family and the problems there and that there is a little boy there. Now that I have had a couple of days to settle down and think clearer, I believe they would be the ones to report this, which they probably already have. The probation officer and the solicitor also know, so I guess when it comes down to it I have already inadvertently reported it. I now need to calm down and get control of my extreme anxiety and distress over this and wait and see what happens next. Which is what I am now trying to do. And I thank you for the support.This is very sad.
I hope somebody calls soon.
Thanks I replied below, just getting use to this site.Hey HOPEFUL,
Be easy on yourself. You can only do your best and that is good enough at any given time. Forgiving oneself along the way is key to a better life. Like others have said in this forum many a time: there is light on the other side of the battle.
I write letters to my son. He does not get them. I keep them here, on my laptop. They are letters about his boyhood and the choices I made as a dad when he was younger, and later when the addiction and all hell kicked in. They are letters of love and hope, but also letters that let me place myself where I belong; spell out my values and my view on the world. let me see that I have done alright as a father and forgive myself. Perhaps one day, when I think he is ready and mature enough, I will mail them to him. But mostly they are for me. Because it is sometimes so so hard to remember what actually happened. Why do we do what we do? A good thing to put it down on paper. I sometimes look at the pages I wrote when he was living with me, and it is a crazy but necessary read.
It helps in the healing process and it helps as a place to go when things go crazy. It very much helps to strengthen detachment.
It certainly helps to post here and read other´s stories, and know that we are many who struggle but can support eachother.
I remember an insident back when my son was younger. He and two others had stolen a car from a friends parent. All the parents wanted to talk to the boys and let them understand that it was wrong. I wanted to report them to the cops. Not for jail time, they were too young. But to show them that actions have consequences. I was downvoted and it never came to fruition. Still to this day I think they should have had the lesson. Over the years his mother and I have fought on these issues, to little avail. My son has never been able to understand consequence and learn from it; and for this he pays now, in much larger amounts.
What is helpful for me to remember is that I am not walking away from my son. When I get off the merry go round I am stepping outside of the circle that is the drama and the craziness. Especially that part of the craziness and drama arising from my attempts to control things that are not my business.It's time for me to get off the merry go round and walk away.