Just because he is acting badly...you can be better than that. He is not going to get anything you tell him so my advice is to say nothing. If he abuses you walk away, take a walk outside, lock yourself in your room with headphones on playing loud music, and call the police if he starts damaging your property. Or threatening you or himself.
I really feel he needs to leave your home. He is ruining your life and the lives of anyone else who resides in your home. I forgot if he is 18 yet, but even if hes not...maybe foster care. He has no right to abuse you yet have you shelter him.
Your house is your samctuary. He is choosing to leave if he refuses to be a decent person under your roof. His decision to be impossible.
Life isnt fair but we can handle our troubled adult children with grace...few words and actions we know we must take.
Hugs!