Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless

[Copabanana]

Spice

Scholarship
Projects
Intelligence and
cooperation are
encouraged *by these same mothers.

Please.....?

 

[New Leaf]

Stupefyingly
Perpetrating
Insensitive
Coagulating
Energy

 

[New Leaf]

Simply
Perpetuate
Intrinsic
Cultural
Education

 

[New Leaf]

Spice

Sadistic
persons
in
caecal condition
eject now!

Are there two more competitive persons on this board, NL?

I don't know Copa, but this is fun...........and you are good........

 

[Copabanana]

Stupefyingly
Perpetrating
Insensitive
Coagulating
Energy

Are you referring to me, NL?

 

[Copabanana]

SPICE

Some
people
including
certain
educators (and allied professionals)

named New Leaf and hopefully Feeling,
need to go to bed. And I will.

COPA

 

[New Leaf]

Are you referring to me, NL?

Of course not my dear Copa. I am referring to the caecal condition.......

 

[Feeling Sad]

I missed this competition. I was watching Ghost!

I declare it a tie. Boy, you guys are great.

Severe
Participants
Incessant
Competition
Engulfed

Or

Sisterly
Pastime
Icredible
Comraderie
Engaged

I declare it a three way tie! Yay, go girls!

 

[Feeling Sad]

I am down. The joint account that I keep a small amount of money in for my ill son for survival shows that he went several times to an auto parts shop.

I feel better that he has his almost 20 year old car. If it stops running, he will be in the elements. I keep picturing him alone in some dark alley being preyed upon.

I hate this helpless feeling. I truly hate it. It is getting more and more difficult to play Pollyanna...always trying to see something...anything positive.

I went into his room, which is now a storage room of sorts, and I saw his shoes. His sad, large, velcro Walmart shoes and I choked up.

He had asked for this white ceramic phone bank from Ross. Yes, it is a kid's item, but he wanted it. It is in there, as well.

My heart is breaking. His easel is still in their. He was a gifted artist and a Math major.

I still can't even go into his room...

Yet, conversely, if the door is left ajar, I still startle as I walk by.

It is all too sad.

 

[RN0441]

Feeling Sad; I so hear your heartbreak and feel it too for my son and how he used to be.

Nothing to say but you're not alone and hugs and prayers.

 

[InsaneCdn]

He is still using that account - which is good.
And having to get parts for the car forces some level of interaction with others - which is also good.

Not that the situation is good. It isn't. We all know that. But in the midst of it - he is on some level finding his way.

Parenting challenging kids should not be this difficult.
I'm glad you at least have a bit of support for yourself here - because that is important too. At least he still has you looking out for him from afar.

 

[Copabanana]

Feeling, this will happen. You search for your son throughout your days and nights and find trails of crumbs instead. Nothing can be made really from the crumbs, where he is or will go. Should his car break down altogether it will be a challenge. But you will not know if it propels him to get treatment or something else. That is the hard part. The only control you have, Feeling, is to stop yourself as quickly and best you can from going down dark roads in your own mind.

I am sorry this is so.

 

[New Leaf]

HI Feeling,
You are so brave to share your true Feelings, so I will try to be brave too. Truthfully, I am feeling scared. I am thinking of us holding hands and that helps.
We're going to be okay Feeling, one day at a time.
(((HUGS)))
leafy

 

[Feeling Sad]

Yes, if I did not have that joint account, I would have fallen apart by now... It is truly my lifeline.

How do I not go down that dark road of worry?

I know that he is alive. If activity on that account stops...I will have to call hospitals, jails, and...morgues.

 

[pigless in VA]

I want to find my son. I want my son brought back from the 'dark side' of schizophrenia. I do not want him to be dangerous anymore. I want him to understand right from wrong.

I understand that feeling. I have a deep seated, almost instinctual fear that my son will become mentally ill in the same way his father did. Feeling Sad, I, too had many frustrating encounters with police where they didn't understand or really help me. I continue to have dreams where I am asking for help and no one listens to me.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I continue to have dreams where I am asking for help and no one listens to me.

I know.

 

[Feeling Sad]

Our system is so very broken. I knew 3 years ago when I called the police when he was threatening to cut up my face and they did nothing. They said they only thing that I could do was file an eviction, and then they could serve him.

I knew then, that I was on my own.

My sister, who was 2 years older than me, was mentally ill in the 60s. I spent many weekends at a major mental hospital visiting her with my family. It was very sad. People tried to walk out with us when we left. Some looked very over-drugged. Some were in stupors. Some screamed. One always flashed my brother. He was 9.

I am not saying that the old system was better, but we have swung way over the other way. It is nearly impossible to get help for someone if they do not want it. The lack of insight into their illness and the voices telling them that they will die if they go to a doctor prevent them from agreeing.

I told a friend of mine once, before my son was as bad, about my 2 sisters having schizophrenia. I was worried that I would also become schizophrenic.

I asked her if she would tell me if I became mentally ill. She said, "I will, but you won't believe me!"

 

[pigless in VA]

No, you probably wouldn't. I had one dear friend who was the person on the end of the phone telling me what to do when my husband was the most crazy. She would tell me when to call the police, when to leave the house and when to stand up to him. She saved my life and kept me sane. But, she struggles herself with mental illness. After my husband died, my friend had a period when she was hallucinating. I went over to her house and her roommate and I attempted to talk reason to her. She couldn't hear us; she was too ill. I had to end our 30 plus year friendship, because yet again someone I loved was mentally ill and I couldn't find a way to help her.

I don't understand why the police aren't more helpful when handling mentally ill people. Why won't they listen to the family members? Why don't they listen when we beg them for help for someone who is out of his or her mind? Why do the family members have to leave the house in order to stay safe? It makes no sense.

 

[BusynMember]

They cant help unless they are breaking the law or actively homicidal or suicidal. If so, then they can admit them for a 73 hour observation period. The police arent the ones who should be dealing with the mentally ill, but they are.

 

[Feeling Sad]

They have to be in immediate danger of harming someone or themselves, or gravely disabled.

They would not come in that first night for me because they told me that I ,"just happened to over-hear him talking about killing me with his voices".

It did not count as a viable threat because he had not told me to my face.

Three years earlier, he HAD told me to my face that he was going to cut my face up. They still did nothing. They just said that I needed to get an eviction and "did I have a place to stay" that night?

The crisis mental health team will not go in unless the police are they so that they are safe, which makes total sense. The police never came in so the mental crisis health team was never called both times.

Six days later, he was found not to be in immediate danger of harming me or himself. I was in a hotel the entire time...for my youngest son's and my safety!

The mental health crisis team told me if they have a plan to "dig in the dumpster behind McDonald's" that is a viable plan and they will not be considered gravely disabled! My son had not seen friends, worked, or gone to school in nine years!

In California AFTER the incident, the law was changed to allow past history from family members. I will believe it when I see it. I tried that day. I told them that 3 weeks earlier he had held a jagged bottle to my throat, but it did not count because it was not right then. It was in the past.

The next day, the police commander laughed at me over the phone and said that they were "not psychologists" and that it is not illegal to be mentally ill.

Often, they are released once they get to the hospital because a second evaluation us done by a psychiatrist. The police told me that they often "beat them back to town".

If they are admitted, it is usually only for 72 hours. They cannot force medications unless they are extremely violent. Even if they are given medications, it is too short of a time in their system to affect a change.

They usually throw away the medications in the parking lot, when they are released, and do not go to the follow up appointment. My eldest sister did exactly this! They are also, now, extremely angry at you!

Now you are at even MORE risk of danger!