Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
- Thread starter Feeling Sad
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Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Feeling. I am so sorry about the death of your brother. I am glad, though, that you were with him at the end. However hard it was, it is a good thing.
You have had too much!!! When is enough, enough?
We went to say goodbye to my mother in the mortuary. I am glad I went because she looked beautiful again, in death. The ravages of living were gone. Erased.
I asked an acquaintance on Sunday, with terminal cancer, how do we survive life? She shook her head.
I don't know. I really do not know.
Is it not the truth?
How are your sons, Feeling?
Childofmine
one day at a time
Feeling, I am so sorry about the loss of your brother. Warm hugs today.
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
Hi. I am sorry that I was away for so long. I am both glad I was there when he coded and traumatized that I witnessed it.
There are beautifully wonderful things in life and some extremely difficult things.
I am still sorting through his things...and he just rented a small room in a house. I feel like 'thining' out my belongings for my sons...which is a very large order.
Thank you for reaching out, Leafy, even though you are going through so much. How are you doing? We are both running on total overload...or rather slowly ambling. Are you working Summer school ir off?
You are a very strong woman.
It has now been a year since my son was served the restraining order. It doesnt seem that long...and yet, like an eternity. I miss both my brother and my ill son.
Take care.
There are beautifully wonderful things in life and some extremely difficult things.
I am still sorting through his things...and he just rented a small room in a house. I feel like 'thining' out my belongings for my sons...which is a very large order.
Thank you for reaching out, Leafy, even though you are going through so much. How are you doing? We are both running on total overload...or rather slowly ambling. Are you working Summer school ir off?
You are a very strong woman.
It has now been a year since my son was served the restraining order. It doesnt seem that long...and yet, like an eternity. I miss both my brother and my ill son.
Take care.
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
I alm I St forgot my other warrior sister.
Copa, how are you doing? Are you walking?
Copa, how are you doing? Are you walking?
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
Feeling, I am so glad you checked in. I have been thinking about you and hoping you were doing okay. We are all going through so much. The loss is immeasurable. The load we all carry is heavy whether our loved ones are with us or not. For everything there is a season. The tide still ebbs and flows, the moon waxes and wanes and the sun rises and sets. And here we are. Life is short and there is much to do. I feel that though we have difficulties and discouragement, the promise of a new day bids us carry on as best we can. We still have great purpose in our own lives. We walk the hardest journey, but do so with determination that despite what befalls upon us along the way, we will go on, one foot in front the other, one day at a time.
I have my moments of despair, but I hear hubs voice urging me on. I am comforted knowing he is no longer in pain, released his ashes in the ocean he so loved. The white cloud of his bones lingered in the water, glistening in the sunlight and deep blue sea, then disappeared along with the current. Though he is no longer here, I hold him in my heart forever and know he would expect me to live well.
We all have such a short time on this earth. What do we do with the time left? Do we languish in desperation of loss, the frustration of our d cs circumstances, or do we boldly go on? It is a mix for me right now. But I want to make the best of what I have. Any other way seems a waste, awash with sorrow, paralyzed with grief, unable to move. I have my moments, and then I am goaded by hubs voice in my head to pick myself up and do something to rebuild myself.
It is hard sorting through possessions, removing his name from accounts, I felt as if I was erasing him. Then I realized that moving forward is what I have to do to honor the foundation of our relationship. I have to renew myself, reinvent myself, draw from his perseverance and strength of character and absorb all I learned from our time together to pick up the pieces of my fractured heart and carry on.
I am thinning out things as well, downsizing and trying to organize as much as can. I have been kept busy looking after my son, making sure he is active and focusing on his future. There is an agency here from the Queens trust that has a program for boys and girls who have lost a parent. I enrolled him there and they have resources for us. I am grateful.
We can do this Feeling. You and I and all of us here can do this. Despite the tragedies in our lives, there is still much to live for. I am urged on by my fathers lesson "Whatever you do, do your best."
Here we are, all of us trying to do our best.
I am off work until the end of July which gives me some time to try to get things straightened out and move forward.
I hope you continue to let us know how you are doing, little bird, I have missed you very much.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy
Ironbutterfly
If focused on a single leaf you won't see the tree
FS, thanks for checking in. Hopefully you have a reprieve from the school and can try and regroup for a while at least. Maybe take a mini vacation somewhere...I know your heart is grieving for your son and brother and I pray that peace of heart will come to you soon.
Ironbutterfly
If focused on a single leaf you won't see the tree
Leafy, very profound statements. There is a promise of a new day and new memories, while never forgetting the life you had with your husband. You honor him by trying to pick up the pieces, one foot in front of the other every day and treasuring what was and hopeful of what your life will be for you here on out. He is with you though, always, in your heart and your memories.
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
Leafy, as always...very profound renderings. Awe-inspiring and beautiful.
I find myself still sorting out his belongings. He just rented a small room in a house. What will be sons have to go through sorting my possessions out? I shudder to think...
I am visiting my own stark mortality. I realize how truly precious life is. My things are beautiful, but they are, after all, just 'things'. I am trying to organize and, somewhat, thin things out.
My brother had an outpatient procedure but they kept him over to keep an eye on him. He had his defibrillator repIaced. I was 2 hours early arriving at the hospital to pick him up.
The district had told me that I had to take my nonviolent crisis intervention yearly refresher course, but when I arrived, I was told that I had taken it in September. I had a sub already for my class, so I went to the hospital.
The hospital had told me, on the phone, that he had a rough night and had been confused. He had told the nurses that he must have just been 'sleep-walking'. He does not sleep-walk. The nurses had told me that he was fine the next morning.
When I walked into the room, there were 2 nurses present. He was having a breathing treatment which he had routinely during his stay.
He had the oxygen mask on. He said, "I didn't want them to bother you".
I told him that I called them and that I was free for the day. I told him that I heard that he had a difficult night.
He started to speak a few sentences. I do not know what he said, he had the mask on, but I told him to relax and we would talk after his breathing treatment.
I have to interject something about myself. I have had intuitions or premonitions since middle school. It scares me and I have no control over it. I have tried to accept it, but it still greatly scares me.
I know that a lot of people do not believe in such things. If I did not have it happen all the time, I would feel the same. My middle son, who has witnessed it his whole life, explains it with quantum physics. But, I have nothing to lose, this is a private forum.
A thought came into my head that if he was to pass away now that it would be calm and peaceful and he would have no more troubles.
I quickly chastised myself and wondered why such a horrible thought would pop into my mind. I quickly dismissed it. I was there, afterall, to take him home because he was being discharged.
The nurse gave my brother the medications that they give for the breathing treatment. I had only been at his bedside for 2 minutes.
A moment later his chest started to jerk with heaves and he coded. He was kept on a ventilator for 3 more days, but he had bilateral fixed pupils.
I felt like I might have caused it somehow. I arrived early and he seemed worried that I had been bothered. But, I also had that horrible 'thought'. Was it intuition or a premonition on my part, or was it a message sent to help me to accept his death?
My father had called out for his mother in the hospital and my friend who works in hospice has witnessed many incidences.
I did not want to get overly involved with this, or get into theological or metaphysical discussions, but it has made me think about life and death.
I wish that I had stayed later the night before at the hospital or that I had arrived earlier that morning. I wish that I could have heard what he was saying to me. I wish that I could have had more time with him.
I hope that people don't misunderstand this post. I do not want people to misjudge me. We have all had moments of extreme intuition. I have had many premonitions or strong intuitions, some about death, but this experience was truly life-altering.
One moment a person is here, and the next, they are gone. Life is precious, fragile, and so very fleeting...
I find myself still sorting out his belongings. He just rented a small room in a house. What will be sons have to go through sorting my possessions out? I shudder to think...
I am visiting my own stark mortality. I realize how truly precious life is. My things are beautiful, but they are, after all, just 'things'. I am trying to organize and, somewhat, thin things out.
My brother had an outpatient procedure but they kept him over to keep an eye on him. He had his defibrillator repIaced. I was 2 hours early arriving at the hospital to pick him up.
The district had told me that I had to take my nonviolent crisis intervention yearly refresher course, but when I arrived, I was told that I had taken it in September. I had a sub already for my class, so I went to the hospital.
The hospital had told me, on the phone, that he had a rough night and had been confused. He had told the nurses that he must have just been 'sleep-walking'. He does not sleep-walk. The nurses had told me that he was fine the next morning.
When I walked into the room, there were 2 nurses present. He was having a breathing treatment which he had routinely during his stay.
He had the oxygen mask on. He said, "I didn't want them to bother you".
I told him that I called them and that I was free for the day. I told him that I heard that he had a difficult night.
He started to speak a few sentences. I do not know what he said, he had the mask on, but I told him to relax and we would talk after his breathing treatment.
I have to interject something about myself. I have had intuitions or premonitions since middle school. It scares me and I have no control over it. I have tried to accept it, but it still greatly scares me.
I know that a lot of people do not believe in such things. If I did not have it happen all the time, I would feel the same. My middle son, who has witnessed it his whole life, explains it with quantum physics. But, I have nothing to lose, this is a private forum.
A thought came into my head that if he was to pass away now that it would be calm and peaceful and he would have no more troubles.
I quickly chastised myself and wondered why such a horrible thought would pop into my mind. I quickly dismissed it. I was there, afterall, to take him home because he was being discharged.
The nurse gave my brother the medications that they give for the breathing treatment. I had only been at his bedside for 2 minutes.
A moment later his chest started to jerk with heaves and he coded. He was kept on a ventilator for 3 more days, but he had bilateral fixed pupils.
I felt like I might have caused it somehow. I arrived early and he seemed worried that I had been bothered. But, I also had that horrible 'thought'. Was it intuition or a premonition on my part, or was it a message sent to help me to accept his death?
My father had called out for his mother in the hospital and my friend who works in hospice has witnessed many incidences.
I did not want to get overly involved with this, or get into theological or metaphysical discussions, but it has made me think about life and death.
I wish that I had stayed later the night before at the hospital or that I had arrived earlier that morning. I wish that I could have heard what he was saying to me. I wish that I could have had more time with him.
I hope that people don't misunderstand this post. I do not want people to misjudge me. We have all had moments of extreme intuition. I have had many premonitions or strong intuitions, some about death, but this experience was truly life-altering.
One moment a person is here, and the next, they are gone. Life is precious, fragile, and so very fleeting...
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Childofmine
one day at a time
Feeling Sad I am so sorry about your brother. I can so understand your feelings and regrets. It sounds like to me that you are a very generous and loving person and tried hard to be there for him. I am glad you were there before he died.
Yes life is fleeting and we need to live in this very moment right now...with plenty of compassion for all starting with ourselves. Most people do the best they can do. That is all we can do. Hang in there. We care.
Yes life is fleeting and we need to live in this very moment right now...with plenty of compassion for all starting with ourselves. Most people do the best they can do. That is all we can do. Hang in there. We care.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Feeling sad, I know what you are describing is real. I try to talk to one long distant psychic who seems to really tap into me about once a year. I feel comforted talking to those who have passed. I know then that they are still with me.
I never met this lady (phone only) but she "knows" very specific things about me that would give me the creeps if i didn't know my relatives and BFF, from the other world, were telling her. I dont think you can cause a death. I think you knew it was coming. That is all. My oldest daughter is very psychic.
I just brought this up to reassure the poster, not to cause a discussion. I feel she needs understanding.
im sorry he has passed and wish you peace.
I never met this lady (phone only) but she "knows" very specific things about me that would give me the creeps if i didn't know my relatives and BFF, from the other world, were telling her. I dont think you can cause a death. I think you knew it was coming. That is all. My oldest daughter is very psychic.
I just brought this up to reassure the poster, not to cause a discussion. I feel she needs understanding.
im sorry he has passed and wish you peace.
Albatross
Well-Known Member
FS, I wanted to add my condolences for the loss of your brother.
I wanted to say, too, that the intuition or thought you had about your brother's death did not cause anything. I am glad circumstances happened as they did, so you could be with him in his final moments and give him peace and love and companionship.
I wanted to say, too, that the intuition or thought you had about your brother's death did not cause anything. I am glad circumstances happened as they did, so you could be with him in his final moments and give him peace and love and companionship.
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
I agree. I was very fortunate to be there with him. I could see that his non responsiveness was very quick and all of the staff ran to his aide. They did all that they could possibly do. I would have felt horribly if he had passed alone in his rental room or while driving. I would not want him to suffer.
It all happened just 2 minutes after I arrived. I kept thinking what if I had not arrived until later? Maybe he would not have died. I know that it sounds ridiculous. He seemed a bit upset when I walked in that I was missing my day with my class. That he had bothered me. I hope that it did not cause him stress.
Also, when you have an intuition about a death before a death, you feel like you could have stopped it somehow. I know that I couldn't have stopped it.
There were 2 nurses in the room with us when it happened. They ran to his bedside to try to revive him. He had a blood clot.
Yes, I am glad that I was there with him. I think that I was meant to be there with him.
It all happened just 2 minutes after I arrived. I kept thinking what if I had not arrived until later? Maybe he would not have died. I know that it sounds ridiculous. He seemed a bit upset when I walked in that I was missing my day with my class. That he had bothered me. I hope that it did not cause him stress.
Also, when you have an intuition about a death before a death, you feel like you could have stopped it somehow. I know that I couldn't have stopped it.
There were 2 nurses in the room with us when it happened. They ran to his bedside to try to revive him. He had a blood clot.
Yes, I am glad that I was there with him. I think that I was meant to be there with him.
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
A quick post script...my ill son was served the restraining order a year ago on June 15th. It is a sad anniversary, of sorts.
I was awarded 5 years by the judge, but I do not feel that my son is aware of this fact. His worst paranoia was realized when 5 police were on the scene.
He always stood at the door and peered out before he left the house. If anyone was outside...he would wait, sometimes for hours. Even if I was out in my car already, he would not walk outside.
He just knows that he cannot come back or try to contact me.
I put a small amount of money in a joint account once a month. The blessing is that I know that he is still alive. I can tell by his debit card useage that he primarily stays in a beach town an hour away. He used to like to go there with me for the day.
It feels very permanent to me. He is probably still too caught up in his delusions and controlling voices to reason his way to medical help. He had 1 lab performed and 1 prescription filled that I know of about a month after he was served.
He never wanted to go see a doctor in town because he was very afraid of running into someone that he knew. He went to that town once to see a doctor, but not for his schizophrenia.
I feel like I will never see him again. It is making me feel very hopeless. This situation feels permanent and I am very aware that life is not.
I am trying to find the positives and get something accomplished each day. But, my heart is very heavy.
Leafy, you are very strong. I feel that our healthy sons make us...force us to carry on with our daily rountines. They are trully a blessing. We need to be there and mentally present for them. Yes, life goes on.
I was awarded 5 years by the judge, but I do not feel that my son is aware of this fact. His worst paranoia was realized when 5 police were on the scene.
He always stood at the door and peered out before he left the house. If anyone was outside...he would wait, sometimes for hours. Even if I was out in my car already, he would not walk outside.
He just knows that he cannot come back or try to contact me.
I put a small amount of money in a joint account once a month. The blessing is that I know that he is still alive. I can tell by his debit card useage that he primarily stays in a beach town an hour away. He used to like to go there with me for the day.
It feels very permanent to me. He is probably still too caught up in his delusions and controlling voices to reason his way to medical help. He had 1 lab performed and 1 prescription filled that I know of about a month after he was served.
He never wanted to go see a doctor in town because he was very afraid of running into someone that he knew. He went to that town once to see a doctor, but not for his schizophrenia.
I feel like I will never see him again. It is making me feel very hopeless. This situation feels permanent and I am very aware that life is not.
I am trying to find the positives and get something accomplished each day. But, my heart is very heavy.
Leafy, you are very strong. I feel that our healthy sons make us...force us to carry on with our daily rountines. They are trully a blessing. We need to be there and mentally present for them. Yes, life goes on.
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
My dearest Feeling, what a difficult thing for you to experience. To go from thinking you were visiting your brother who would soon go home from an outpatient procedure then be faced with his passing. It is a shock to the soul.
I am not put off by your writing of uncanny intuition. I think some folks are in tune with the universe that way. Thank you for sharing, it is a blessing, but also a burden to bear.
How could you know that you were spending last moments with your brother? Life is a mystery in this way. Though it must have been a horrible ordeal for you (words cannot even begin to express), you were a great comfort to your brother in being by his bedside.
Yes, life is precious, fragile and fleeting. It seems the older I get, the faster time goes. It is reminder to live as best we can and treasure each moment.
I am so sorry for your loss, Feeling, and all of the hardship you have endured. Yet, still you have found the strength to carry on. There is much to live for in spite of all the challenges we face with our situations.
Thank you for being here and honestly expressing yourself, sharing the journey with us. Though we are traveling together through cyber space, anonymous....... there is this connection and bond between us that helps tremendously to lighten the load of the circumstances we face.
I am here with you, going through all of the stages of grieving, the hard reality, sorting through the necessities that have to get done, drifting in and out of times when it all hardly seems real, thinking that hubs will call, or be home when I get there. A lifetime of memories unfolds before me. But, how I wish there would be more to build on.
I am trying to focus on all of the wonderful moments we spent together, count those blessings and be thankful for what we were able to share.
It is all I can do to muster the strength to go on and work at renewing myself, cutting through the jungle of emotions to find a pathway of my own.
Life is a series of adjustments and sometimes we are faced with seemingly insurmountable adversity. Especially so for us, as we struggle with the profound issues of our beloved adult children. There is no reason or rhyme to it, but here we are putting one foot in front the other. We have no control over unforeseen circumstances, but we do have control of our attitude and how we carry on. This day, this moment, I am thinking that to honor the bond I have with hubs, I shall go on. I think your brother would want the same for you, little bird.
I see your strength shining through your writings, even as you express your sadness. You are a wonderful human being who has been beset with much turmoil throughout your life, and yet, you continue on. It is a great testimony to your ability to weather the strongest storms and I am very grateful to know you through this site.
Feeling, I wish you peace. I will be thinking of you as I go about my way and hoping for the both of us that we are able to grab a hold of our lives and live to the fullest.
The word of the day is "onipa'a".
Go forth with humility, strength and grace, hold your head high and carry on.
Much love dear warrior sister
(((hugs)))
Leafy
These are my wishes for hubs as well. Those shoulda, coulda, wouldas that we go over and over, but who could know? There was no indication from the doctors that hubs would not be coming home. We did not get to talk either, it all happened so quickly and at the same time so slowly.
I am not put off by your writing of uncanny intuition. I think some folks are in tune with the universe that way. Thank you for sharing, it is a blessing, but also a burden to bear.
How could you know that you were spending last moments with your brother? Life is a mystery in this way. Though it must have been a horrible ordeal for you (words cannot even begin to express), you were a great comfort to your brother in being by his bedside.
Yes, life is precious, fragile and fleeting. It seems the older I get, the faster time goes. It is reminder to live as best we can and treasure each moment.
I am so sorry for your loss, Feeling, and all of the hardship you have endured. Yet, still you have found the strength to carry on. There is much to live for in spite of all the challenges we face with our situations.
Thank you for being here and honestly expressing yourself, sharing the journey with us. Though we are traveling together through cyber space, anonymous....... there is this connection and bond between us that helps tremendously to lighten the load of the circumstances we face.
I am here with you, going through all of the stages of grieving, the hard reality, sorting through the necessities that have to get done, drifting in and out of times when it all hardly seems real, thinking that hubs will call, or be home when I get there. A lifetime of memories unfolds before me. But, how I wish there would be more to build on.
I am trying to focus on all of the wonderful moments we spent together, count those blessings and be thankful for what we were able to share.
It is all I can do to muster the strength to go on and work at renewing myself, cutting through the jungle of emotions to find a pathway of my own.
Life is a series of adjustments and sometimes we are faced with seemingly insurmountable adversity. Especially so for us, as we struggle with the profound issues of our beloved adult children. There is no reason or rhyme to it, but here we are putting one foot in front the other. We have no control over unforeseen circumstances, but we do have control of our attitude and how we carry on. This day, this moment, I am thinking that to honor the bond I have with hubs, I shall go on. I think your brother would want the same for you, little bird.
I see your strength shining through your writings, even as you express your sadness. You are a wonderful human being who has been beset with much turmoil throughout your life, and yet, you continue on. It is a great testimony to your ability to weather the strongest storms and I am very grateful to know you through this site.
Feeling, I wish you peace. I will be thinking of you as I go about my way and hoping for the both of us that we are able to grab a hold of our lives and live to the fullest.
The word of the day is "onipa'a".
Go forth with humility, strength and grace, hold your head high and carry on.
Much love dear warrior sister
(((hugs)))
Leafy
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Feeling sad, my condolences to you on the death of your brother.
I believe among the important things in our lives, is being with our people when they die. However much this was hard, it seems to be your place, as it is mine, to be there.
I wish you and I could both accept how little control in our lives we have really had. And the grace and commitment and responsibility you have shown despite this.
This was a good story, a hard one, but a good one. You did your job. Well.
This is the bottom line.
I believe among the important things in our lives, is being with our people when they die. However much this was hard, it seems to be your place, as it is mine, to be there.
I wish you and I could both accept how little control in our lives we have really had. And the grace and commitment and responsibility you have shown despite this.
This was a good story, a hard one, but a good one. You did your job. Well.
Ironbutterfly
If focused on a single leaf you won't see the tree
Feeling sad, you are probably an Empath, you sense things, deeply. I too am an Empath, I get a sense of uneasiness, my stomach feels funny, I can sense something, but not sure what it is that is wrong.
When middle son was in Marines for Iraqi Freedom, it was a Friday night, I told husband, something is wrong, off but I don't know what. The feeling was all night. On Sat morning- phone rang it was son, calling from over-seas. He said Hi Mom, I need to talk to Dad I said sure, handed husband phone. It was then he told his Dad that he and his buddies were out on patrol and hit an Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) and they got blown up in the air and landed upside down. No one was hurt, walked away with some contusions, etc. He knew I would cry and so he wanted to tell his Dad and have Dad tell me. He had only 5 min to talk and had to go.
This is one of many things that I have sensed. We don't cause things to happen, we just have a sense that something will or has happened.
I am sorry about your brother, but take peace in the fact that he saw 'you' before he passed. YOU were there and he left this world knowing that you came to see him. You both were blessed with timing to be able to see one another before he passed. Lot of folks don't get this- I didn't get it with my mom and grandma.
When middle son was in Marines for Iraqi Freedom, it was a Friday night, I told husband, something is wrong, off but I don't know what. The feeling was all night. On Sat morning- phone rang it was son, calling from over-seas. He said Hi Mom, I need to talk to Dad I said sure, handed husband phone. It was then he told his Dad that he and his buddies were out on patrol and hit an Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) and they got blown up in the air and landed upside down. No one was hurt, walked away with some contusions, etc. He knew I would cry and so he wanted to tell his Dad and have Dad tell me. He had only 5 min to talk and had to go.
This is one of many things that I have sensed. We don't cause things to happen, we just have a sense that something will or has happened.
I am sorry about your brother, but take peace in the fact that he saw 'you' before he passed. YOU were there and he left this world knowing that you came to see him. You both were blessed with timing to be able to see one another before he passed. Lot of folks don't get this- I didn't get it with my mom and grandma.
Night Owl Mama
Member
Interesting. I am an empath too. I have had premonitions since childhood and am keenly aware of the emotional states of others, absorbing them even if I am not careful. It makes living with angry, anxious people intolerable for me. Not that anyone enjoys it!
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
I am trying to gain a sense of peace that I was with him.
I had a premonition when he had his cardiac arrest 10 years ago. I was riding in my car and kept picturing my car hitting something. I was concerned that a shovel or a piece of wood would fall off of a car and hit mine.
At that exact moment, my brother had a cardiac arrest while driving in another town and he went up onto a median and hit a post.
When my grandmother died, I felt a profound sense of sadness all night. I kept thinking of the song, "Meet Me In St. Louis, Louie". My mom called me the next day. She had passed away during the night. She grew up in St Louis and had recently moved back there.
When I was driving 7 kindergartners as a parent on a field trip, I kept imaging a blur of a car and an impact. That is not something that you want to see while driving other parents' children. Right then, my ex husband had a car run a streetlight and hit him in a different town. He had to be taken to the hospital.
Once, I saw on the news that a man had killed a woman in a small college town. They said that he had disappeared. Texas popped into my head. Two days later, they found him in a tent in Galveston, Texas. It was several states over from where he had last been seen. This instance really upset me. It scared me to know where a murderer was hiding.
It is usually something trivial like knowing that I am going to run into someone shopping or seeing something break. I feel that we all have this ability, some more than others.
I had a benign tumor removed in 2007. After my surgery, I was hoping that I would no longer have this ability.
I was home for one day and I struggled to stand up from the couch in the family room. I said to my son that we have to fix that window. There was nothing wrong with the window. When I came back and sat down, the doorbell rang. I leaned forward and the wind blew the large window out of the sill and it flew across the room. I had never had a window do that. The metal corner impaled itself into the vinyl flooring. It just missed my recently placed titanium plate in my head by inches. The window cracked upon impact.
Yes, I still had the ability... I had a premonition that something was wrong with my health. That is how my tumor was discovered.
I do it all of the time. I have done it hundreds of times. It really bothers me.
I have read that if you are traumatized growing up, you can possess highly attuned intuition. My schizophrenic sister growing up, my first husband who was a Vietnam vet, and my schizophrenic son all threatened my life numerous times. I needed to be highly aware.
My biologist son said that quantum physics and the string theory explains why it happens. Everything is on a continuum. One action causes another action and so on.
Growing up, my family was religious and I felt that it was evil. Perhaps it is a guardian angel, deceased relatives, or picking up others' emotions. I am always awake when it happens. I do not know what causes it.
For whatever reason, I have it. I do not share it with people, except my sons and my best friend, but I am safe here because it is anonymous.
There are a lot of things that do not have a scientific reason.
I had a premonition when he had his cardiac arrest 10 years ago. I was riding in my car and kept picturing my car hitting something. I was concerned that a shovel or a piece of wood would fall off of a car and hit mine.
At that exact moment, my brother had a cardiac arrest while driving in another town and he went up onto a median and hit a post.
When my grandmother died, I felt a profound sense of sadness all night. I kept thinking of the song, "Meet Me In St. Louis, Louie". My mom called me the next day. She had passed away during the night. She grew up in St Louis and had recently moved back there.
When I was driving 7 kindergartners as a parent on a field trip, I kept imaging a blur of a car and an impact. That is not something that you want to see while driving other parents' children. Right then, my ex husband had a car run a streetlight and hit him in a different town. He had to be taken to the hospital.
Once, I saw on the news that a man had killed a woman in a small college town. They said that he had disappeared. Texas popped into my head. Two days later, they found him in a tent in Galveston, Texas. It was several states over from where he had last been seen. This instance really upset me. It scared me to know where a murderer was hiding.
It is usually something trivial like knowing that I am going to run into someone shopping or seeing something break. I feel that we all have this ability, some more than others.
I had a benign tumor removed in 2007. After my surgery, I was hoping that I would no longer have this ability.
I was home for one day and I struggled to stand up from the couch in the family room. I said to my son that we have to fix that window. There was nothing wrong with the window. When I came back and sat down, the doorbell rang. I leaned forward and the wind blew the large window out of the sill and it flew across the room. I had never had a window do that. The metal corner impaled itself into the vinyl flooring. It just missed my recently placed titanium plate in my head by inches. The window cracked upon impact.
Yes, I still had the ability... I had a premonition that something was wrong with my health. That is how my tumor was discovered.
I do it all of the time. I have done it hundreds of times. It really bothers me.
I have read that if you are traumatized growing up, you can possess highly attuned intuition. My schizophrenic sister growing up, my first husband who was a Vietnam vet, and my schizophrenic son all threatened my life numerous times. I needed to be highly aware.
My biologist son said that quantum physics and the string theory explains why it happens. Everything is on a continuum. One action causes another action and so on.
Growing up, my family was religious and I felt that it was evil. Perhaps it is a guardian angel, deceased relatives, or picking up others' emotions. I am always awake when it happens. I do not know what causes it.
For whatever reason, I have it. I do not share it with people, except my sons and my best friend, but I am safe here because it is anonymous.
There are a lot of things that do not have a scientific reason.
