Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless

[Feeling Sad]

I need to correct a statement.

The police said that I "just happened to overhear him talking to HIMSELF", not voices. They never acknowledged that he was arguing with voices or that dangerous command hallucination can be followed.

I am so sorry, Pigless, that you went through so much. It must have been horrible to lose both your husband and close friend to mental illness. Yes, one feels very helpless and completely on your own.

We just have to sit there and watch them slowly slip away. Their old selves being slowly replaced by foreign entities. Very often, people lack insight into their illness, especially if they are in an active psychotic state.

 

[pigless in VA]

I'm okay now, FS. I feel for the others out there who have mentally ill people whom they love and cannot get them the treatment that they deserve. I am also not particularly happy with the treatment. The hospitals don't hold the mentally ill patients long enough, and they are forced to try so many drugs before they can find some that work well. The sufferers should not be reduced to walking the streets with little help. They're ill; there should be a way for their families to get them the help that they need. The system we have in place now is carp.

 

[InsaneCdn]

It is nearly impossible to get help for someone if they do not want it.

It's nearly impossible to get help for someone if they do not agree to the help.
Some of them even acknowledge that they need and want help - but the help provided triggers too many other problems, so they are also trapped. The mental illness makes it impossible to agree to get help.

I don't understand why the police aren't more helpful when handling mentally ill people.

FS listed some of them. I would also add... there really is no place to take them. The entire mental health system is broken.

The next day, the police commander laughed at me over the phone and said that they were "not psychologists" and that it is not illegal to be mentally ill.

Not that it changes the outcome but... the Commander laughing at you is so totally unprofessional that he should have been reported to his superiors. Except, they have the same attitude. Yes, police need to know a LOT more about mental illness than they do, because they ARE on the front lines of dealing with the mentally ill, whether they want to be or not.

They're ill; there should be a way for their families to get them the help that they need. The system we have in place now is carp.

There are no easy answers, Pigless. In reality, the problem is bigger than the system. We have lost the excellent supports that used to exist 100 years ago, and which enabled a lot of mentally ill people to actually function on some level. (The ones who couldn't function at all... were not well dealt with back then, and haven't been ever since.) In my opinion, we are a mentally ill society - it's just that some of us manage to function and others don't.

We would all like to see the system "fixed". Except, nobody knows what that fix should look like or whether it would even work. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers. And yes, I'm right up there with you and FS, looking for those same sorts of answers - and we don't have answers for even the more simple cases.

 

[Feeling Sad]

The crux of the matter is that the system wants to give them free will in their treatment.

But, often when you are mentally ill you lack insight. You do not feel that you are mentally ill. Rather, others, they feel, are not in their right mind.

They are not in denial. They are paranoid.

People with hallucinations and delusions are not in touch with reality. How can they be expected to make important decisions in their treatment? People who are paranoid of others will not agree to see a stranger and open up to them. They do not trust people.

My son's violence escalated tenfold when I urged him to seek help.

My ill son told me once that I would be very sad if I "knew the truth". He was alluding to some big conspiracy against him.

Well, I do know the 'truth' and I am sad.

 

[InsaneCdn]

People with hallucinations and delusions are not in touch with reality. How can they be expected to make important decisions in their treatment? People who are paranoid of others will not agree to see a stranger and open up to them. They do not trust people.

It doesn't even have to be obvious paranoia or hallucinations or delusions. It can be subtle warps in thinking and perception.

 

[Nature]

I'm still here, listening and understand. Too many things going on in my head to respond as I feel like I'm nodding my head yes to everything you've written and wish I had the answers. Hugs.

 

[BusynMember]

Schizophrenia may not be fatal (although there is a high suicide rate) but the sick petson can be as impaired as one with Alzheimers. They may have no understanding of what reality is. Its a terrible brain disorder and treatment requires knowing that you are sick (which is not often known with schizophrenics) and staying on medications once medications that help are found (and if they relapse at all they may start to think the medications are poisin and that everyone is trying to kill them)

I think its a pity that schizophrenics have "rights" even when they are not sane and unable to even know they are sick. Their families have nowhere safe to put them, like with Alzheimers. Yes, the severity of thought is the same. Its a pity we dont care for our sickest brain disordered people. Many need care to stay well and monitoring to make sure the medications are still keeping psychosis at bay.

 

[Feeling Sad]

My sister, who passed away last year, had schizophrenia listed has one of the causes of death on her death certificate.

She was in board and care facilities and convalescent hospitals for the last 40 years of her life and on medications for her entire illness from the age of 13.

 

[BusynMember]

That's sad. I hope she had a chance to do things she enjoyed as well.

 

[Feeling Sad]

They have a much higher rate of smoking.

Their medications often cause weight gain which contributes to obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and cancer.

Their doctors often do not check their health the same way that they would for 'normal' people and do not monitor them as well.

They can have constant stress and anxiety due to delusions which is bad for their health.

Yes, there is also suicide, 10% per year.

My sister, a few years ago, almost died because she stopped eating because she thought that people were poisoning her. She was weak and could not walk.

Her kidneys shut down.

But, schizophrenia was listed second cause of death.

They often die sooner.

The hospital where she died told me that if she dies, "she will no longer be in a mental prison". They saw death as a good thing!

 

[Feeling Sad]

I seem to be at a stand still. I go to therapy twice a month, but I am still feeling sad and as if I am just going through the motions. I have always just carried on since I was a child.

I know that I had no choice in removing my son from the house. I am profoundly sad and ache every day.

The most difficult to bear is not knowing if I will ever see him again. It is grief that has no closure.

I have had to evacuate my class 8 times this year due to a disruptive and violent student. I am so tired. I truly need a rest. One more month...

 

[InsaneCdn]

Feeling Sad, I wonder if maybe you're "going through the motions" partly because of the situation in your class. You can't relax there, either. Maybe the summer break will leave you more free to work through some of the thoughts and feelings.

 

[BusynMember]

Feeling Sad, my heart aches for everyone here, but especially you. I understand schizophrenia. I have no family members with it, but I knew schizophrenics in the hospital I was in and have been studying about it all my life. It is truly the cancer of mental health because so many people who have it dont know they are sick or are certain those who are tryiing to help them or the medications that make rhem clearheaded are hurting them. They think the world is plotting to kill them. The medications are poisin. Many lay people think they can choose to get help but they dont understand. Unlike other mental illness, they dont know they are sick and their hallucinations, so real to them, prove they are targeted by others. They usually get help oinly if they are forced to in court and are held mire than 72 stupid hours...it is barely long enough for a diagnosis.
I know that nicotine helps the symptoms of schizophrenia. The medications cause forever hunger not easily controlled (to a point most psychiatric medications do this). I have not lived through this with a loved one myself, but I get it. Ive seen it. I am angry that there is no real help for a psychotic person.

You are in my thoughts. I wish I had a way to help.

 

[Feeling Sad]

I wanted to touch base. My baby brother who had a heart condition since birth passed away Sunday. I was picking him up to take him home from the hospital after a simple procedure the day before. I had been there 2 minutes that morning. He was talking...and the next moment he became unresponsive.

I am glad that I was there to know that he became unresponsive quickly and peacefully. He had a stroke. He was on a ventilator for 3 days before he passed.

I will never be the same. I cannot write about it now. I am sorry. I will touch base later...

 

[InsaneCdn]

Hugs, Feeling Sad.
Nothing prepares us for these things. It's always a left curve.
Take all the time you need. But know that we are also here for you.

 

[Nature]

Dear Feeling,

I'm so sorry you are in deep pain at the loss of your brother and previously your son's illness. The grief you are feeling probably seems unbearable and although we (this group) can't be there with you in person please know I wish we could all be there to embrace you in warm loving hugs. Thinking of you.

 

[RN0441]

Feeling Sad
So sorry for your loss. I'm glad that he died peacefully. It doesn't make it any easier I know. But he is in a better place and his body is healed.

 

[BusynMember]

Sending warm thoughts at this difficult time...

 

[New Leaf]

Oh Feeling, I am so sorry. Hugs to you my friend.
Leaf

 

[Ironbutterfly]

FS- I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and what you are going through with your son. I pray you find some solace with time.

It's sad the way society now deals with mentally ill- institutions were closed decades ago and folks were thrown out on the street to allow them free choice, to seek treatment or not. This resulted from in the past, folks who were mentally ill were placed in institutions that often abused, mistreated, tied to beds, left to die, etc. In trying to correct and protect mentally ill persons- they over- corrected and just gave them freedom. Unfortunately, the families are the ones who are left to help their loved ones; often without success. System is over-whelmed, over-worked. We spend billions on other countries but yet, no billions spent on our own people who suffer from mental illness. There should be a million man/woman march to Congress for help with mental illness, homes, support systems, etc.