Yes, my youngest is doing well. He is a bit stressed with a new house and a new mortgage. But, he also has a new girlfriend and he is very happy. He has 3 renters to help meet the morgage, but he is stressed because they have some financial issues.
Copa, I didn't make a call to 911 for my middle son because I called a suicide helpline once before for him. He came down a year and a half ago after I told him about the restraining order against his brother. He told me just because you feel said, it doesn't mean that you did the wrong thing...before he came down.
He was very despondent and suicidal when he came down right after the restraining order. He told me that if his brother died while he was "out there", that "his blood would be on my hands". He was very upset and suicidal. I went into my bedroom and privately called the suicide prevention helpline. In essence, she asked me if he was presently trying to kill himself. I said, "No, but he is discussing it". She then asked me if he had concrete plans about how he was going to do it. I said, "No". She then said that they was nothing that they could do at this time.
I understand this. I worked on a helpline in college. I saved a man's life but, he had taken drugs and I was able to get his weight, what he took, and his address. This was before 911. Then I called the backup police and doctor. His mother had called the helpline from Colorado and told me that he had taken pills. It was difficult to get his address because he was speaking very slowly and kept saying that he wanted to "lie down". That was my first call.
On his visit last Christmas, he had started an almost finished bottle of antidepressants in order to do better on his finals. This was a prescription that he had started and then stopped taking, that he was prescribed down here awhile before he left for school. I took him to the hospital because he was going through withdrawals because he had run out. They would not give him any because he lived up north and he would have to be monitored. They gave him 2 ativans and sent him on his way.
On this visit, I told him that I wanted to take him to the hospital because he is suicidal. He told me that he did not want it on his record and that, if asked, he would say that he is not suicidal.
The police would do nothing if I called 911. I have a lot of animosity towards the local police after how they refused to come in with my schizophrenic son and then lied about it. They do not take people in unless they are actively harming themselves or saying that they are going to kill themselves right then.
My son needs medications, or at the very least, therapy. Being a biologist, he knows too much about how antidepressants permanently alter your brain. Also, he, unlike myself, is not into talking and would never consider going to a stranger to discuss his feelings.
I am just trying to be a good listener and to get him on medications. A few months ago, he went to see a doctor up north. With his new coverage, he went to a house and saw a woman doctor. She told him that he seemed fine, but said that they would call him with another doctor or information about a follow up for medications. He never received the call back. But, I was just thinking, his mailbox is always full due to his number is advertized as belonging to a psychic. He should get a new number. He just texts me...
I told him that he needs to call the doctor back and tell her that he needs medications still. He lacks initiative and has poor memory now because of the depression.
With antidepressents, doctors won't prescribe them to you if you do not live locally. They need to monitor you. I couldn't do anything. He refused to go to a hospital with me.
But, like always, he texts back, once he is home, that he is very sorry and should not have treated me that way.
I wish that I had not told him about his ill brother. He went downhill after that with his academics and not wanting to be with people. He feels embarrassed about his grades and says that he is now undeserving of the internship.
He never came to visit when my ill son still lived at home because his brother would become very violent because they had a falling out. The computer line ran through my ill son's room and he would disconnect the internet. This happened while my middle son was taking a final online and he said that he was not doing it. My middle son smashed in his door in because he didn't want to fail the class. Then, a few days later, my ill son kicked his door in. After that, my ill son hated him. I do not know if he stopped the Internet or if there was a problem with the Internet itself. I will never know.
I am gently urging my son and listening to him. I want to keep the lines of communication open. He told me once that he felt like throwing the phone away. I do not have his current address. I just send him supportive texts that he seems to appreciate.
He is struggling with grief, like I am. He is also angry about things, like I am, as well. I do not know if he received his grades yet. He feels that his professors are disppointed in him now and he will not tell them about his brother's illness or homelessness. He feels that he is somehow at fault for his depression and that he can stop it. He doesnt want to give excuses. Remember, he was the one who, on his own, told me that he would always take care of his brother when I was gone.
I do not know what he will do if he does not pass or where he will live. He doesn't want his inheritance from my parents to help to rent an apartment. He said that he would just give it away...
The backyard story was sad, but my middle son is right. It was a 'better' time that I should have appreciated, looking back, because my ill son, at that time, was not trying to inflict damage or distress. He truly, in his disorganized mind, thought that he was making the yard better and cleaning it up. He soon became much, much worse, so my middle son is correct.
Yes, it was bad, but it is all relative. It was not as bad as it was going to get...
