Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Hi Feeling
I will be thinking you on my trip. I will check in tomorrow, and hope I can type. (keyboard issue.)
I will be thinking you on my trip. I will check in tomorrow, and hope I can type. (keyboard issue.)
Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
- Thread starter Feeling Sad
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Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
I kept texting my middle son every day. I felt like I was falling apart and found it difficult to carry on.
Friday morning, I texted my middle son, yet again. I spent about 2 hours. I first sent bullet points of all of the symptoms of depression. I researched online so that it was exceedingly thorough.
I then wrote bullet points on traditional and self-help methods to feel less depressed and anxious. I wrote about 500 words.
I was hoping that he would see himself in the symptoms and understand why he was feeling the way that he was. I wanted him to stop kicking himself, see that it was not his fault, and that it takes time to overcome depression.
I also wrote how I stopped going to class in college because I was so sad about my schizophrenic sister. She had been kidnapped by a pimp. She was missing for several weeks. She had just started to live in an apartment. She got on the wrong bus, which took her downtown LA. A strange man told her that she is not allowed on the bus after dark. He must have observed that she was different and naive. She believed him and got off of the bus. He took her to a seedy motel for several weeks and forced her to turn tricks. Between 'Johns', she was locked in a closet. She was 21 and a virgin. Someone reported seeing her go into the hotel. The police finally found her. She still talked of that horrible man and asked if he was "still out there and could get her" until the day she died.
This is why I worry so much about my ill son. People who are schizophrenic are very gullible and are often preyed upon. My ill son, at times, was very child-like. He told me that our dog is a mammal and got excited seeing a firetruck. At other times, his giftedness showed through.
Sorry, I digressed. Back to my middle son. I called him my 'precious son' in my text.
That night I got a text late from him asking if he could spend the night.
He is a broken man. He hardly eats and sleeps a lot. He has had moments that he seemed more like himself. He walked to his friend's house in our tract last night.
He is very polite. He says that he doesn't want to eat and that "he doesn't have much of an appetite these days."
I do not know what his plans are or how long he will stay. I haven't even asked if he had started his antidepressants or if he is still taking them.
I am living in the moment. I have my son back home. He is safe, for now. I still ache for my ill son. I ache, not knowing if I will ever see him again. Every day my heart aches for him.
It is difficult seeing the profound sadness of my middle son. But, he is under my roof. I will do everything under my power to help him. Yes, I know, it is his battle. Hopefully, he will regain a purpose in life and forgive himself. He needs to overcome this depression and shore up his broken self esteem.
I am taking it slowly. I will wait until he wants to talk more. Then, I can suggest counseling or volunteer work helping others. He needs to get better before he can think clearly about things.
Yes, I have a best friend for the last 34 years, since I moved to this town. We both are mothers to 3 sons, the same ages. They went to school together. She lost her youngest at age 10 to Leukemia, after a 4 year battle.
He was my youngest son's best friend. They would play ninja all day long...they were ninja warriors. He would play quiet games and was very mindful when his best friend was weak after chemo or if his heart was racing. I did not have him go to the funeral or the cemetery for his burial. He went to the gathering at the house afterward.
I am into rings. When they were 9 or 10, they ordered matching sets of sterling rings; one emerald, one sapphire, and one ruby. To this day, he still wears the 3 rings around his neck on a chain in his friend's memory every single day. It has been over 15 years. He donates to Cancer research every month automatically.
When his friend passed, my friend told him that he could give her something to put in the casket. He started to carve a fighting stick with his Cub Scout knife. He wanted it to say, "To the best friend a person could ever have". It proved to be too difficult for him. He was only 10. But, he carved, "To my best friend". It is in the casket with him. He told me that he was going to 'fight with him again' when he gets to Heaven.
I tell my best friend what I am going through. At times, I feel very badly. She only had her youngest son for 10 years. He was in treatment and, at times, in pain during the last 4 years of his life.
My ill son lived 20 years before he started to show signs of schizophrenia. He is still alive. But, I probably will never see him again and I have witnessed, first-hand, the sheer torture that he goes through by his delusions and hallucinations.
But, he is alive. His bank account tells me this. With schizophrenia, the greatest concern is suicide. That is my constant concern.
My best friend now has a precious 2 year old granddaughter that was born with liver problems. At birth, she a had 50% cirrhosis of the liver. She will need a transplant in the future. She has had several surgeries. My best friend told me that she never thought that this would happen again. A young child's life being threatened by disease.
I saw her this week, before my son finally texted me. She listened and was caring, like she always is. She is a very supportive friend. After I had talked a lot and was done, she told me that her granddaughter is back in the hospital. She is being tested. She might be bleeding internally.
So, right now, I am keeping my problems to myself, except for you guys. Your texts are always helpful to me. I keep my personal problems to myself at work. But, I am feeling a bit less worried. The battle isn't over yet. I do not know if he will leave. I am taking it at his pace.
Thank you for being there for me...
Friday morning, I texted my middle son, yet again. I spent about 2 hours. I first sent bullet points of all of the symptoms of depression. I researched online so that it was exceedingly thorough.
I then wrote bullet points on traditional and self-help methods to feel less depressed and anxious. I wrote about 500 words.
I was hoping that he would see himself in the symptoms and understand why he was feeling the way that he was. I wanted him to stop kicking himself, see that it was not his fault, and that it takes time to overcome depression.
I also wrote how I stopped going to class in college because I was so sad about my schizophrenic sister. She had been kidnapped by a pimp. She was missing for several weeks. She had just started to live in an apartment. She got on the wrong bus, which took her downtown LA. A strange man told her that she is not allowed on the bus after dark. He must have observed that she was different and naive. She believed him and got off of the bus. He took her to a seedy motel for several weeks and forced her to turn tricks. Between 'Johns', she was locked in a closet. She was 21 and a virgin. Someone reported seeing her go into the hotel. The police finally found her. She still talked of that horrible man and asked if he was "still out there and could get her" until the day she died.
This is why I worry so much about my ill son. People who are schizophrenic are very gullible and are often preyed upon. My ill son, at times, was very child-like. He told me that our dog is a mammal and got excited seeing a firetruck. At other times, his giftedness showed through.
Sorry, I digressed. Back to my middle son. I called him my 'precious son' in my text.
That night I got a text late from him asking if he could spend the night.
He is a broken man. He hardly eats and sleeps a lot. He has had moments that he seemed more like himself. He walked to his friend's house in our tract last night.
He is very polite. He says that he doesn't want to eat and that "he doesn't have much of an appetite these days."
I do not know what his plans are or how long he will stay. I haven't even asked if he had started his antidepressants or if he is still taking them.
I am living in the moment. I have my son back home. He is safe, for now. I still ache for my ill son. I ache, not knowing if I will ever see him again. Every day my heart aches for him.
It is difficult seeing the profound sadness of my middle son. But, he is under my roof. I will do everything under my power to help him. Yes, I know, it is his battle. Hopefully, he will regain a purpose in life and forgive himself. He needs to overcome this depression and shore up his broken self esteem.
I am taking it slowly. I will wait until he wants to talk more. Then, I can suggest counseling or volunteer work helping others. He needs to get better before he can think clearly about things.
Yes, I have a best friend for the last 34 years, since I moved to this town. We both are mothers to 3 sons, the same ages. They went to school together. She lost her youngest at age 10 to Leukemia, after a 4 year battle.
He was my youngest son's best friend. They would play ninja all day long...they were ninja warriors. He would play quiet games and was very mindful when his best friend was weak after chemo or if his heart was racing. I did not have him go to the funeral or the cemetery for his burial. He went to the gathering at the house afterward.
I am into rings. When they were 9 or 10, they ordered matching sets of sterling rings; one emerald, one sapphire, and one ruby. To this day, he still wears the 3 rings around his neck on a chain in his friend's memory every single day. It has been over 15 years. He donates to Cancer research every month automatically.
When his friend passed, my friend told him that he could give her something to put in the casket. He started to carve a fighting stick with his Cub Scout knife. He wanted it to say, "To the best friend a person could ever have". It proved to be too difficult for him. He was only 10. But, he carved, "To my best friend". It is in the casket with him. He told me that he was going to 'fight with him again' when he gets to Heaven.
I tell my best friend what I am going through. At times, I feel very badly. She only had her youngest son for 10 years. He was in treatment and, at times, in pain during the last 4 years of his life.
My ill son lived 20 years before he started to show signs of schizophrenia. He is still alive. But, I probably will never see him again and I have witnessed, first-hand, the sheer torture that he goes through by his delusions and hallucinations.
But, he is alive. His bank account tells me this. With schizophrenia, the greatest concern is suicide. That is my constant concern.
My best friend now has a precious 2 year old granddaughter that was born with liver problems. At birth, she a had 50% cirrhosis of the liver. She will need a transplant in the future. She has had several surgeries. My best friend told me that she never thought that this would happen again. A young child's life being threatened by disease.
I saw her this week, before my son finally texted me. She listened and was caring, like she always is. She is a very supportive friend. After I had talked a lot and was done, she told me that her granddaughter is back in the hospital. She is being tested. She might be bleeding internally.
So, right now, I am keeping my problems to myself, except for you guys. Your texts are always helpful to me. I keep my personal problems to myself at work. But, I am feeling a bit less worried. The battle isn't over yet. I do not know if he will leave. I am taking it at his pace.
Thank you for being there for me...
pigless in VA
Well-Known Member
I think since your middle son has come to stay with you, that he understands how sick he is. I think he will allow you to lead him to some help. If he isn't eating, he sounds severely depressed, but there is hope. He came to you for help. He sought you out.
I'm sorry that your friend's granddaughter is so sick. It's beautiful that the two of you have such a long and enduring friendship. I'm sure that she will continue to be supportive. Your life struggles may be different, but to find a caring and loving friend is a true gift.
I'm sorry that your friend's granddaughter is so sick. It's beautiful that the two of you have such a long and enduring friendship. I'm sure that she will continue to be supportive. Your life struggles may be different, but to find a caring and loving friend is a true gift.
Feeling Sad
Well-Known Member
My middle son is returning to Monterey to be homeless. I am in the depths of despair. He said that he just came home for a visit. I am very sad. I cannot handle not knowing where 2 of my sons are or that they are living in their cars.
My middle son has a large inheritance from my parents. He doesn't want it. I want him to have a bed. He says that it is his choice as a adult and that I shouldn't make him feel guilty.
He says that he is better, but he is not. He got upset and said that he might not ever see me again.
I understand that as an adult, he doesn't want to live with his mom. But, he deserves a bed. He has been on antidepressants for about 3 weeks. He just tells me that being homeless isn't bad.
I can't handle having little or no contact and worrying constantly. I am sad enough about my eldest son. I cant handle more. I still have to teach about 35 more days. I want to fall apart.
My middle son has a large inheritance from my parents. He doesn't want it. I want him to have a bed. He says that it is his choice as a adult and that I shouldn't make him feel guilty.
He says that he is better, but he is not. He got upset and said that he might not ever see me again.
I understand that as an adult, he doesn't want to live with his mom. But, he deserves a bed. He has been on antidepressants for about 3 weeks. He just tells me that being homeless isn't bad.
I can't handle having little or no contact and worrying constantly. I am sad enough about my eldest son. I cant handle more. I still have to teach about 35 more days. I want to fall apart.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
You are truly surrounded by mental illness. I am so sorry about your middle son. So very sorry.
As far as your oldest, can you not meet with him in crowded public places? I know there is a restraining order but who is going to report a meeting if you want one, say, in a Starbucks? Would it not be pretty safe in public? I may be ignorant by suggesting this but you sound so sad. And for now I suppose middle son needs his space...but he will be back...I believe that.
I am worried about you. Can you see an actual psychiatrist? Maybe other methods of treatment rather than medications can help alleviate your depression. I know about EMDR for PTSD and anxiety. A professional guides you with rapid eye movements. It is supposed to be very effective.
Please try to help yourself. I have read all this. I know how far back this sadness goes for you (others and mental illness) then on top of it brain surgery. But even with all this on ypur shoulders, I believe you can feel better. And there is hope for your sons, even the oldest, if he is ever stabiized on medication and maybe in a group home where somebosy can give him medications. He could end up in a safe place one day if people notice he is sick and want to help...
I send you light snd love and the hope that you can find a way to cope with all you have gone through snd are going through. Sometimes a therapist, while very helpful, is not enough.
Do care for yourself. Please. Good night.
As far as your oldest, can you not meet with him in crowded public places? I know there is a restraining order but who is going to report a meeting if you want one, say, in a Starbucks? Would it not be pretty safe in public? I may be ignorant by suggesting this but you sound so sad. And for now I suppose middle son needs his space...but he will be back...I believe that.
I am worried about you. Can you see an actual psychiatrist? Maybe other methods of treatment rather than medications can help alleviate your depression. I know about EMDR for PTSD and anxiety. A professional guides you with rapid eye movements. It is supposed to be very effective.
Please try to help yourself. I have read all this. I know how far back this sadness goes for you (others and mental illness) then on top of it brain surgery. But even with all this on ypur shoulders, I believe you can feel better. And there is hope for your sons, even the oldest, if he is ever stabiized on medication and maybe in a group home where somebosy can give him medications. He could end up in a safe place one day if people notice he is sick and want to help...
I send you light snd love and the hope that you can find a way to cope with all you have gone through snd are going through. Sometimes a therapist, while very helpful, is not enough.
Do care for yourself. Please. Good night.
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ColleenB
Active Member
Feeling sad,
I see you are a teacher also... I'm laying awake wondering how to cope with school tomorrow (today) on so little sleep.... so I feel your tiredness and your pain.
We are lucky in our district we have unlimited counselling for teachers with our own full time counsellors, we pay them with our union dues, it's an invaluable service. I hope you find some help.
I can't imagine having two sons with mental illness. We are almost broken with just one.... I am worried about oldest son becoming homeless, as he is with us right now, but his mental health is deteriorating quickly.
Please know I am thinking of you.
I see you are a teacher also... I'm laying awake wondering how to cope with school tomorrow (today) on so little sleep.... so I feel your tiredness and your pain.
We are lucky in our district we have unlimited counselling for teachers with our own full time counsellors, we pay them with our union dues, it's an invaluable service. I hope you find some help.
I can't imagine having two sons with mental illness. We are almost broken with just one.... I am worried about oldest son becoming homeless, as he is with us right now, but his mental health is deteriorating quickly.
Please know I am thinking of you.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Feeling. I read your first message *when son arrived and felt so heartened. I could not respond but when I came to check in, felt crestfallen, too.
I agree with pigless, that it is highly encouraging that he came home. Even though he left. That shows he has hope and he knows he can and will find refuge. I do believe he will come back soon.
I do not know why he wants to be homeless except for the reasons we have already speculated about. But he has to work this through.
It is very, very safe there. Beautiful and safe. It is like he is camping. When my son was homeless I tried to think of him like a cowboy, out sleeping under the stars with his horse nearby. For eons of time young men have left home and gone into the wilderness to work out their lives. This is what middle son is doing. He feels he has to do this to get to the next stage of his life just like I felt I had to go on the train 3 days to Philadelphia. Think of yourself as womenfolk in a western movie. Barbara Stanwyck, maybe. You come out the door in your homestead cabin onto the porch. You descend into the garden. You watch as middle son returns, crossing your land. You have just gone through the hardest part, when he leaves and you are standing there waving as he goes into the sunset, weeping.
I am not being trite here feeling. Why not start binge watching old westerns? They are my favorite movies.
How many mothers have gone through this for eternity? The difference is we put a word on it now, homeless. It feels horrible, but he is working this out in his own way.
I will check in as I can. I am sick at heart for you feeling, and I wish this was different. I know you feel you cannot handle this but you have been through way worse. Take heart, feeling.
I agree with pigless, that it is highly encouraging that he came home. Even though he left. That shows he has hope and he knows he can and will find refuge. I do believe he will come back soon.
I do not know why he wants to be homeless except for the reasons we have already speculated about. But he has to work this through.
It is very, very safe there. Beautiful and safe. It is like he is camping. When my son was homeless I tried to think of him like a cowboy, out sleeping under the stars with his horse nearby. For eons of time young men have left home and gone into the wilderness to work out their lives. This is what middle son is doing. He feels he has to do this to get to the next stage of his life just like I felt I had to go on the train 3 days to Philadelphia. Think of yourself as womenfolk in a western movie. Barbara Stanwyck, maybe. You come out the door in your homestead cabin onto the porch. You descend into the garden. You watch as middle son returns, crossing your land. You have just gone through the hardest part, when he leaves and you are standing there waving as he goes into the sunset, weeping.
I am not being trite here feeling. Why not start binge watching old westerns? They are my favorite movies.
How many mothers have gone through this for eternity? The difference is we put a word on it now, homeless. It feels horrible, but he is working this out in his own way.
I will check in as I can. I am sick at heart for you feeling, and I wish this was different. I know you feel you cannot handle this but you have been through way worse. Take heart, feeling.
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pigless in VA
Well-Known Member
Feeling Sad, you can handle this. I know it is devastating, but you will survive it. I can't remember if you see a therapist. Please find one. You need a safe place to talk about the mental illnesses of your sons.
I've survived the mental illness of Lloyd's entire family. All freaking four of them! I know I mentioned somewhere that my father in law was the first to try suicide, way before my husband became ill. He drove in front of a logging truck. Fortunately/unfortunately he walked away without a scratch as the Lincoln continental he was driving was too tough. Then my husband and his brother both died by suicide. My mother in law drank herself to death a few years after her only two sons died. My father in law was the last to pass of natural causes.
You must insulate your emotions from people who are mentally ill. They want to suck the emotional life out of you. They clamor for attention and want company in their misery. Please, please, please, save yourself. I have to get ready for work but will write more later. Your friends here care about you. Your youngest son needs you. Please take care of yourself. Many warm hugs for your deflated heart.
I've survived the mental illness of Lloyd's entire family. All freaking four of them! I know I mentioned somewhere that my father in law was the first to try suicide, way before my husband became ill. He drove in front of a logging truck. Fortunately/unfortunately he walked away without a scratch as the Lincoln continental he was driving was too tough. Then my husband and his brother both died by suicide. My mother in law drank herself to death a few years after her only two sons died. My father in law was the last to pass of natural causes.
You must insulate your emotions from people who are mentally ill. They want to suck the emotional life out of you. They clamor for attention and want company in their misery. Please, please, please, save yourself. I have to get ready for work but will write more later. Your friends here care about you. Your youngest son needs you. Please take care of yourself. Many warm hugs for your deflated heart.
wisernow
wisernow
Pigless said "You must insulate your emotions from people who are mentally ill. They want to suck the emotional life out of you. They clamor for attention and want company in their misery. Please, please, please, save yourself. I have to get ready for work but will write more later. Your friends here care about you. Your youngest son needs you. Please take care of yourself. Many warm hugs for your deflated heart."
Feeling Sad I concur. I do not think things will get better until you get better however that may be. Please see a therapist, take a trip, find back you! Show your sons that you can rise above the challenges and they may too follow. Many hugs for you and your broken heart. My wish for you is that you start to repair it as only you can.
Feeling Sad I concur. I do not think things will get better until you get better however that may be. Please see a therapist, take a trip, find back you! Show your sons that you can rise above the challenges and they may too follow. Many hugs for you and your broken heart. My wish for you is that you start to repair it as only you can.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
I agree with piglets and with wiser. I never believed that I would. But here I am in Philadelphia 3000 miles is it from my home and my son. Before I left I had distanced myself from my son somewhat who treats me badly. If I need anything from him he uses it as an opportunity to keep me dangling, while taking swipes.
Feeing, there is the same cruelty in what middle son is doing to you. I know, we forgive them and we understand on some level, but we are our own little flower. We are precious too. We must save and protect ourselves too. We are somebody's children too.
OK. I get it. On some level each of us was sacrificed and got the message that our job was to endure and to take care of others first, to keep quiet and to not ask for more. Most of all to take the hits and more hits, always looking first to those we love.
G-d did not mean for us to be sacrificed and destroyed. Not by others and especially not by ourselves.
I did not say goodbye to my son before I left and I left knowing something could happen to him or myself….during the trip. I left in place the stupid "special needs trust" that insulates my son from whatever money I have…so he will not use it to hurt himself. I have subsequently decided, better that he lose the money…so I will let him inherit directly. But there was no time to change the trust before I left.
I accepted that should I die on the trip, with the ill-fated trust in place, and he out in the woods, he had to bear the results and deal with it. That he has responsibility for his life story and not me. I am only responsible for my own. That I have loved him with all of my heart and soul and energy, and it is time to love myself, as best I can.
Feeling. You have options. You CAN afford to self-pay therapy. You will easily find somebody good willing to take $100. Or a spiritual director in your faith, (or mine.) I have gotten so much from the Rabbi with whom I speak every week, and this blessing costs me one third of the cost I was paying the psychiatrist. You need support. We all do. Me, too.
These are adult men, Feeling. We are the children now who need protecting. And care. I believe this with all my heart, Feeling.
There is significant survivor guilt going on here for middle son and FOR YOU. There is no judgment here in what I write (because if there were I would be indicting myself): Your obligation as a mother is to model to your sons surviving and thriving. We do not control our lives, that is true. But we can believe we deserve to survive and to thrive. Somehow we got a faulty version of this mental map, Feeling, of manifesting belief in our deserving of care, and hopefulness for ourselves. There is renewal for us, too, Feeling. We can reboot and correct course. Every single second there is another opportunity to reboot. I know this.
Feeling. You have been with me this whole trip. As I can I will check in. I am praying for you. Because you are really, me, and all of us. We are treasures, Feeling. Our own lost treasure. Right here. Take care.
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Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Sorry pigless, autocorrect turned you into piglets. I like it.
pigless in VA
Well-Known Member
Feeling Sad,
Copa is trying to get you to reframe how you think about your sons. Homelessness is not an inherently bad thing. Life is a journey. Each one of us has a different journey and there are positives and negatives to all the decisions we make. I agree with Copa that you can think of your middle son as out there finding himself. His life was stressing him too much. He needed to discard everything in order to find his place in the world. I believe he will figure it out.
Your oldest son is beyond your help. You did your absolute best to help him. It didn't work. Mental illness is like that. It takes away people that we love and destroys them. We don't have to allow it to destroy us, too.
My SO lost his eldest son in a house fire. No one else volunteered to light their house on fire and perish with him. It's terrible: a child dies too young. I try very hard to view mental illness the same way. Some people succumb to it. It's tragic. No one is helped by everyone succumbing to mental illness.
I had a friend long ago tell me something very important. She said, "You're a survivor." I hold onto that idea. Friends the other night were horrified when I was telling them about Ferb's suicide attempt. I've had to reframe how I view his life. He may continue on and thrive, or he may nosedive and opt out. Either way, I have to accept there is little I can do to influence his life. I hope he makes good decisions. I want him to make good decisions, but I accept that he may take his own life tomorrow. I will survive it. It will be horrible, but I will survive it.
Take care of yourself, Feeling Sad.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Ladies. Hi. I am home.
Most important, Feeling: where are you? Please check in.
My computer keyboard is broken. I cannot write much at all.
My trip was amazing. Exactly what I needed and sought. There were harrowing and exhausting moments, and hours, but I am still here.
I asked M if I looked tired when I got home. M said I arrived home looking defeated. I can see how that could be.
I am wiped out but in the sense of cleansed. It is like all the tears there are to shed have been wrung out of me, like a wash rag. And now I am hung out to dry in the sun. It feels like a turning point.
I flew home. I did write my son a long email before I left, recommitting to help him more, if he helps himself, including helping him get treatment for Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), a brain injury he ignores except to claim a loss of smell. But I will not allow myself to be battered by him. I will try as best I can to choose myself. I think this is a practice, like piglets and wisernow have been guiding us.
Feeling. You are not meant to be sacrificed. These were not your crimes. Your sacrifice of yourself helps nobody. You are a gifted woman who creates good and love in her life. You always have. We all need you. I hope you check in soon.
Feeling. I have learned that grief is hallowed ground. We can rise anew from the embers.
Oh. I almost forgot to comment on the above quote from piglets. I think that is what I did when I was in bed 3 years after my mother died. I needed to discard everything about my real life. I have only lately been able to see, that during this time I was able to reconnect with myself on a deeper level, claiming parts of me, and a spiritual life from which I have been alienated.
When piglets talks about surviving...I do not see her only talking about our physical musculature and skeleton and vital organs. I see her talking about our soul lives. It is very hard to put it into words, but I believe in your work and with your sons you have lived from this place. It is a selflessness that operates independent of conditions or rewards.
What both of them are telling us, is that we have, and should have the same capacity for and commitment to selfless devotion to our own spirits and well-being. It is an obligation Feeling. What did Willie Loman say, in Arthur Miller's play? Attention must be paid.
Please check in Feeling.
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wisernow
wisernow
Copa I am so happy you had a good trip. I have been thinking of you the past few days. Pigless I think you summed things up perfectly in your reply. Feeling sad I think reframing some of what is happening may be good for you. I remember growing up many young people would leave for the west to find themselves. Maybe its not the west anymore...but still a journey to figure things out. Please allow some time for them to grow into themselves and for you to reclaim yourself.
Ladies I have started on a new spiritual journey. I have purchased some "Soul Cards" which are cards with beautiful artistic drawings on them. You can use them in many ways. I have shuffled my deck and then pick one from it. I then focus on the image on what it means to me in my life right now. I then think about it and write about it. So far I have pulled two cards in 7 days. I don't want to pull cards until I am ready for the next one. Somehow I feel myself opening up more to the universe and seeking guidance from it. and with that more peace of my own spirit. Thought I would share. Hugs!!!!
Ladies I have started on a new spiritual journey. I have purchased some "Soul Cards" which are cards with beautiful artistic drawings on them. You can use them in many ways. I have shuffled my deck and then pick one from it. I then focus on the image on what it means to me in my life right now. I then think about it and write about it. So far I have pulled two cards in 7 days. I don't want to pull cards until I am ready for the next one. Somehow I feel myself opening up more to the universe and seeking guidance from it. and with that more peace of my own spirit. Thought I would share. Hugs!!!!
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Wisernow, I am on the same spiritual path you are. Exactly. It has truly changed my life and existinquished fear that we die. I know in my heart we dont and that we are here to learn...for our soul to evolve. Each lifetime is. So i see everything, good and bad and even earth death, as a learning experience and often ask my spirit guide for advice.
I am sitting in nature now, soaking in Mother Earths healing and peace. I need to learn cards. I do meditate at least a half hour a day.
I am happy for your spiritual awakening. I know how soothing it is, for me at least. Thank you for not being afraid to share this.
I am sitting in nature now, soaking in Mother Earths healing and peace. I need to learn cards. I do meditate at least a half hour a day.
I am happy for your spiritual awakening. I know how soothing it is, for me at least. Thank you for not being afraid to share this.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I'm later in the game so you are farther ahead but this has made me calm and stable. You know what I mean.
If you live in WI or the Chicago area send me a PM
Coffee would be great.
I am willing to meet anyone who lives there. And zieould bring my daughter who abused drugs once with me so you could pick her brain about addiction
If you live in WI or the Chicago area send me a PM
Coffee would be great.I am willing to meet anyone who lives there. And zieould bring my daughter who abused drugs once with me so you could pick her brain about addiction
pigless in VA
Well-Known Member
Rats. I wanna come to the hen party. Y'all are too far away for me. 
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BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Oh pigless you are always welcome!
