Happy Thanksgiving?!?

[Copabanana]

I was deep into cooking this morning when M came in the house to tell me the police where outside looking for my son. It seems he had posted on Facebook that he was being followed and that the police might be involved. He is psychotic and believes he is being filmed and followed. The FBI had contacted the local police. They want to interview my son and document this. They said at this point he's more a victim than a suspect.

I explained to the police he's mentally ill, delusional and scared.

They were kind. But still this is a very scary turn.

They will come back at 2 pm when my son is coming here for the holiday meal. Please pray for me. Thank you.

 

[ksm]

Oh, Copa. I'm so sorry this is happening today! I hope things go smoothly, but I know that he might think you orchestrated all this. So sad that he is struggling mentally. Ksm

 

[MommaTried24]

Praying for you and your family today Copa. I'm so sorry this is happening today.

 

[Copabanana]

Thank you both.

My son came. He was fairly calm. I was a wreck. He stayed an hour and the police came after he left. The policeman said that my son had called in, and he

reassured me. I gave him my son's address, so hopefully I am out of it. I had to take half a xanax. Only now 5 hours later do I feel somewhat normal.

 

[Nandina]

Dear Copa, just now saw your post. I’ve been away from internet all day. Thank goodness it wasn’t more serious but just reading your post made me anxious, thinking of how you must have felt. It would take me awhile to get over that. Even with a xanax.

I did not realize the police would intervene in a case like that, where it seems there was no direct threat to anyone, if I understand correctly. There are threats like that all over the internet, aren’t there? I say this in total ignorance because I don’t use any social media and am not sure how closely monitored it is, other than hearing about fb accounts being suspended, etc.

I’m so glad your son was calm. Has this experience had any effect on him, such as any perception or understanding of its seriousness? I’m not sure if it’s possible for him to comprehend that, depending on his level of psychosis.

You’ve mentioned over time that your son doesn’t want to take medication. I’m wondering if he might be more inclined to if the police, in counseling him, suggest that he stay on his medications to prevent this type of thing from happening again? Or maybe they do that already? I’m just wondering.

So grateful it had this outcome, Copa, but very sorry it happened on this day. Wishing you peace and comfort.

Love, Nandina

 

[newstart]

I was deep into cooking this morning when M came in the house to tell me the police where outside looking for my son. It seems he had posted on Facebook that he was being followed and that the police might be involved. He is psychotic and believes he is being filmed and followed. The FBI had contacted the local police. They want to interview my son and document this. They said at this point he's more a victim than a suspect.

I explained to the police he's mentally ill, delusional and scared.

They were kind. But still this is a very scary turn.

They will come back at 2 pm when my son is coming here for the holiday meal. Please pray for me. Thank you.

Praying for your nerves Copa. Glad the police were kind and that you had a meal with your son. I was also glad to hear that he had an address. Thanksgiving sometimes can be stressful just because and then this happened to you. Thinking of you and sending prayers. Also glad to hear that your son was calm when he come over. Much love.

 

[Copabanana]

Has this experience had any effect on him, such as any perception or understanding of its seriousness?

Thank you Nandina. No effect on him. After a flurried few minutes of fear, he affirmed to himself that the FBI was trying to help him to protect himself from the gang members who " follow him."

Much love.

Much love back to you and everybody here.

You’ve mentioned over time that your son doesn’t want to take medication.

He was prescribed an anti-psychotic in the last week or so. I made going for treatment a condition that he stay in that apartment I own. He said he was taking a pill every over day, contrary to the prescription. He is complying partly because he wants the apartment. I doubt if this will work. At least not right now.

My son does seem somewhat changed. He is kinder to me. Which is to say less cruel. He kept reassuring me about the FBI. "Don't worry, Mom." He knows I love him. He knows I stick by him. He loves me the little bit he can. That's enough for now. Baby steps. But I will not go along with HIS WAY OR THE HIGHWAY. He will leave if we seriously ask anything of him. He shines us on. He has his SSI money today, I think. I think he will leave rather than give me money for the electricity which is the only thing I asked for.

 

[Beta]

Copa, I'm so sorry for this scary circumstance. I'm glad your son was calm and I'm glad you got to spend some time with him. I hope you are feeling better. Prayers for your peace right now.

 

[Bettyboo44]

Oh my, no wonder you were a wreck, cooking all morning with the unexpected visit from the police, hearing that upsetting news about your son, the anticipation of your son’s arrival, the police coming back. All incredibly overwhelming and exhausting.

It’s good though your son was calm, maybe the new medication is helping?

Also, think it was a better outcome the police didn’t arrive until after your son left, as this may have changed his mood.

I’ve noticed on a few of your posts the police turning up at your home, this is greatly upsetting for you. I wonder could you request they phone you instead of arriving at your home, unless it’s absolutely necessary or that you have agreed a time that is suitable for you.

I hope you got money for electricity as of course it’s not asking a lot and it would show you he’s respecting your wishes.

But more importantly I hope you’re okay, and that you are getting some well needed peace. You endlessly give so much of your time, energy and care to so many of us on here and to your son, I truly hope you are minding yourself half as much as you do for everyone else.
Sending much love and healing

 

[Nomad]

Thank you both.

My son came. He was fairly calm. I was a wreck. He stayed an hour and the police came after he left. The policeman said that my son had called in, and he

reassured me. I gave him my son's address, so hopefully I am out of it. I had to take half a xanax. Only now 5 hours later do I feel somewhat normal.

I missed all of this. How sad. I’m so sorry to read of this. Any update? (((Hugs))?

 

[Copabanana]

Any update?

Hi Nomad
Nothing new about the FBI but I presume my son now has a file. We tried (yet again) letting my son come back and live in the apartment. This time alone. A complete fiasco. But no discord or police. He's gone again, homeless Oh well. How are you?

 

[lovemysons]

Copa you are always in my thoughts when I come to check on yall. I pray someday your son will get the help he so desperately needs.

Love you my friend,
Lms

 

[Beta]

Copa,
I'm so sorry it didn't work out for your son to live near you in the apartment. That's so disappointing. Lots of hugs to you. I pray for God's mighty work in his heart and mind. He loved your son long before you did, and He always will love him. I'm sorry for the heartache in your mama's heart today. Praying for comfort and peace to strengthen you.

 

[Bettyboo44]

Copa, you have said to me before I don’t mean to be harsh and I definitely don’t either, you gave your son a home, handed to him, yet he decided he’d rather leave when suits him than deal with that responsibility. So many people don’t have the luxury of having this as a choice.
Was the last time you saw your son after you spent all morning making dinner and hearing that upsetting news from the police and having your son there and then the police again?
You had asked for him to simply pay electricity in the apartment you gave him but anticipated he would leave rather than doing this..is this what happened?
You said you presumed your son now has a file, are you entitled to know….i would think so with how many times the police, etc have contacted you. If that’s something you want to know….either way I hope you’re okay

 

[Nomad]

Your story is so sad and maddening. These aren't exactly the right words...but it's as close as I can get. Similar (if not the same) as how I feel about my own situation.
A little update: Our daughter has been moving constantly. For a long time, it was various states. Of late, it is within the same state. And very recently, between two cities within the same state. One city, is the one we live in and she is currently in our city. She has been diagnosed with a concerning health problem. Although, we are not certain, we suspect she will stay put for awhile because she is concerned about this and needs our help making doctor appts. with specialists. Which we did and she has one coming up in a month or so. We haven't invited her for Christmas for a few years due to a few things: a giant horrible fiasco about three years back and she is 100 percent of the time extra problematic on Christmas. However, due to the fact that some time has passed, she is currently in our city , has been a bit more pleasant recently and she has this concerning health problem, she has been given an invitation. My husband told her if she brings drama to us on Christmas (like usual) she will be UN invited for two years...possibly more. Her coming here has caused me much angst. 100 percent is a horrible statistic. Last year she spent Christmas with her bio family and we think that went more or less ok...although we don't think she got an invite this year. Perhaps she can go every other year? It is on our minds. We do not help her with her living conditions and they have been difficult for her. We do help her in a limited way with medical needs. She has been on and off respectful/appropriate...but more "on" the last month...best guess, again, incentivized by her health issues and the holiday.

 

[Copabanana]

You had asked for him to simply pay electricity in the apartment you gave him but anticipated he would leave rather than doing this..is this what happened?

Yes. That and he had said he'd get a drug test. That requires a State ID. I think it's all three of those things and more. Bottom line, we're not offering the place to live totally without conditions. We want him to be able to live better. It's for him to improve. He wants the place to live. But he wants it for privacy, comfort and to live as he wants, which is to use marijuana, smoke, hide out, and to be paranoid.

I am glad we did it. Because it is clearcut. He can't do it or won't, at this point. He is also blocking me on his phone. This irritates me. In his mind I deserve being cut off, punished. Tha annoys me.

 

[Copabanana]

Was the last time you saw your son after you spent all morning making dinner and hearing that upsetting news from the police and having your son there and then the police again?

I did not see him again. If I think at all deeply about my situation, my heart breaks.

 

[Beta]

If I think at all deeply about my situation, my heart breaks.

Yep. Sometimes I have to push the thoughts and images right out of my mind for my own sanity.

 

[Bettyboo44]

Bottom line, we're not offering the place to live totally without conditions. We want him to be able to live better. It's for him to improve.

To do so without basic conditions, (I.e pay for the electricity your son uses, don’t use drugs in there), would be doing him no favours at all.
Like you said, it’s for him. If he was living in an apartment anywhere else he would have to follow these requirements, along with many more.

He is also blocking me on his phone. This irritates me. In his mind I deserve being cut off, punished. Tha annoys me.

My eldest son (26) does this also to me quite often if I don’t give him what he wants or agree with things being done his way.
I agree it’s done as a sort of punishment, but also think it’s a way of controlling me and my emotions and feelings.

I did not see him again. If I think at all deeply about my situation, my heart breaks.

Not seeing him again after that dreadful ordeal and the hurt from him blocking you is heartbreaking. I’m sure he’ll unblock you again when he decides. So I hope in the meantime you can mind your heart, be kind to it

 

[Nomad]

I did not see him again. If I think at all deeply about my situation, my heart breaks.

Im so sorry. (((Hugs)))