Hi Eryn, welcome to the forum, so sorry for your need to be here.
Very early on in my sons addiction to heroin I went to an alanon meeting and the first thing a member said was "you've gotta kick him out now" without any explanation why this person was saying this to me I left and haven't gone back in 8 years of my sons addiction.
I am sorry you had this experience. I think people are all at different places on this journey, and folks hit various stages along the way, and may forget how it feels to be at the start. I remember sitting at the counselors and telling my woeful story. The therapist looked at me and point blank said "You are an enabler." I swallowed those words down hard. It was not what I expected to hear, but she was right. I was just not ready to hear it. I am sorry for the shock of what you heard. When I was first posting here, I hit a stage of anger at what I had gone through with my two. I learned to try and put a filter on my posts after writing a couple of strong ones. I was not meaning to be hurtful, just responding through my own hurt and misery.........
As he is still using, now threatening suicide every other day.....he told me yesterday that I have no choice he either gets to move back home (after ANOTHER rehab and only a month at a sober house) or he's killing himself.
I know that others have written about suicide threats from their d cs, calling police every time it happens. It is not fair of him to do this to you, or himself. If he continues, please call 911. Some have even said after they did so and police responded, their kids did not try that again.
I'm still waiting for my 26 year old son, who's fathered 2 beautiful children during his addiction to choose his kids over drugs.
Your son is making terrible choices, like my two. It is a hard thing to witness. There are many comments here about the maturation of our brains and how males mature at around 27. Your son is almost there. Hopefully, reason will kick in and he will see his purpose and meaning, and pivot to a new path.
My eldest is 37, on the streets. I still hold out hope for her. People can change, no matter what the age or circumstance, but they do have to
want change.
I am glad you have posted Eryn, though it is sad that we are here, it is a good place for parents dealing with these issues to be. I hope you stay with us and keep sharing your story. We are all going through similar trials, and try our best to encourage others. When I post or respond, I am writing to myself as well, working through the challenges and pain of this.
Welcome, and I am so sorry for your aching mommy heart.
(((HUGS)))
leafy