He's been kicked out of the shelter

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Lil, Dec 26, 2014.

  1. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    I completely agree with you on what he is thinking. We aren't paying his rent beyond the fact that we did pay the deposit and I'm on the lease (had to be or he couldn't have gotten in). The cell contract is in our name, he was still a minor at the time of the last upgrade so we are stuck with it. We bought him the food because his first payday isnt until Friday.

    That being said, if he choses to not pay the rent, I'm obligated for my credit ratings sake to do so. My current plan, if he choses to not pay in February, is to inform him that in order to pay the rent that he is ignoring I will be forced to cut off his cell. He has already been warned that I, not Lil as its my name on the lease, I will take it VERY personally if he screws me over on this. Well, Lil will too! For those that haven't figured it out yet, I have no problem whatsoever with telling him no.

    We actually looked in to what it would cost to cancel his contract along with about a dozen other options as our phones are almost 4 years old and getting very twitchy. We are also considering switching companies for better coverage. To maintain his line by itself will be around $140 per month. To pay the penalty and cancel the contract early will cost $100 this month with the cost going down by $20 each month. But to keep the line as it is will only run about $30 per month so strictly from a financial point of view, keeping his line makes sense for us.

    Now if he....upsets me....I will seriously consider paying the $100 or for that matter, will take an old flip phone in and have his number transferred to it. We have purchases all the food for him that we are going to and have no plans on giving him rides either. Lil will have to work out her offer of giving him a ride in extreme weather herself. We have discussed it and she is aware of my views on it.
     
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Lil, He is not hearing that. You are on the hook for the rent. He knows that. No consequences until June. They do not connect the dots with that much of a time gap. If his thinking is immature, this truly does not compute.
     
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    You do not have to cancel the contract. You can suspend service for as long as you want or need to. I did this with my son and it worked. You can suspend it until the contract runs out. Yes, you are on the hook for the rent,that makes you his landlord. You could decide whether or not he should stay for the 6 months. If he has other people staying, they need to be paying rent, electric, and food.
     
  4. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately, that's not how it works. I'm on the hook for the rent but have no control. I can't kick him out, only the property owner/landlord can do that. As long as he pays the rent, could care less about the food and electric as they are COMPLETELY on him, I don't care if he lets a dozen other people stay with him just so long as they don't trash the place and cost me money.
     
  5. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Well then I guess he's screwed come June. There really isn't anything else to discuss - It's done. We can't take Jabber's name off the lease. If we have to pay then we have to pay, but as of June 1, he's the only one who'll suffer. We're DONE.


    That's not cost effective. We looked into that with J-1's phone. (Yes, he was on our plan for a time - he lived with us and we stupidly added him instead of buying him cards for the Walmart phone.) I don't remember if our carrier charged for that or if it lengthened the contract, but there was some reason we just let it go and kept paying and it wasn't out of the goodness of our hearts. He broke the phone and we just paid for nothing for two years.

    No, we can't decide that. He's the primary on the lease. Jabber is simply on there to guarantee payment. But he's the lessee, not us, and we're certainly not his landlords. Legally, we can't do a thing if he doesn't pay his rent. As to other people, I could not possibly care less. The electric is in his name. Food will no longer be provided. Whether there's 1 or 5 packed into that little place doesn't affect the rent. Of course they should pay...but I don't care.

    Sorry Honey, but this bothers me, mostly because it strikes me as untrue. We told him that paying the rent would result in cutting him off completely. We never hinged his phone to it and that seems wrong. We told him we'd keep it to June, unless J starts using it again.
     
  6. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    You are right that you still have to pay, but they won't have the use of it.
     
  7. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I assume you are talking about the phone still? It's all academic I suppose. We told him we're keeping the phone on until June - so we're keeping the phone on until June, unless J-1 starts using it again. (J-1 has been out of the picture since Xmas. Hopefully he'll stay out.)
     
  8. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Sorry Honey, we did give our word.

    No it wasn't, it would extend the contract during the "dormant" period and we would still have to pay like $10 a month. Not really an option.
     
  9. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    There are cell phones for the needy, which he will be if he does not live up to his contract to you. In our neck of the woods, anyone can apply for a flip phone, for emergency access to others. Cost is nothing other than you don't make more than $XXXX. You may want to look into that. I'm kind of a planner. I have my ducks in a row before the fact. Plus, being a realist, I play the odds. I hope for the best, but, if I have been let down before, I plan for the worst so that it's not a shock and I am prepared.

    That was just a FYI :)
     
  10. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    LOL! We are both hoping for the best while planning for the worst. As far as checking into that, if he wants a phone after this and isn't making enough then he can look into it. While he's looking into section 8 housing, food stamps, and whatever other government assistance he might want to apply for. I think we have a similar plan here but not sure of the details never having needed it. Lil is a planner too but the whole point of this exercise is for our son to either step up or fall on his face. Safety net is stretched tight and will break as of June 1!
     
  11. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    MWM - difficult child applied for one while living here and got it...I was shocked...
     
  12. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    That's pretty much my motto. :)


    Oh yes, the Obamaphone! lol Please, please, don't let me make this political, because it totally isn't intended to be, I hate politics, but I found out about these when there were all these Republican ads - I think in the internet - with stereotypical "welfare recipients" talking about how Obama was giving them free phones. What they didn't bother telling anyone is the program started under Reagan. Of course, back then it was land-lines. Cells make more sense, given the transient nature of a lot of low-income people.
     
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I agree, Lil.
    It's not so much about exactly where you draw the line, as it is about sticking to it.
     
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  14. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    LOLOL! Obamaphones! Well, I won't get political either, but the only people I know who have them are seniors who don't make a lot and don't care about the internet. I know plenty of less well off kids, my own included, who have smart phones. But certainly it is not a necessity of life for us or them. If your son is making not a lot of money, he qualifies for all sorts of Republican-hating entitlements. He can even get rental help. There is actually no need to fund him. Since he doesn't have a fruitful job, he can get assistance. This is not a joke either. It's true.
     
  15. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    That's what the section 8 is I had mentioned earlier. The ONLY reason we helped him get a place was because he would never have been able to get a lease without us co-signing or using assistance which, if I'm not mistaken, takes a bit of time to get on. He has until June 1 to arrange these things for himself now. Whether he does it or not is up in the air and COMPLETELY on him. I'm sick to death of giving help that is completely unappreciated and advice that is completely ignored. If he asks, I will answer but no more advice is forthcoming from me unless he asks. If he asks for help, it will entirely depend on how well he does over the next few months.
     
  16. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Our waiting list here for section 8 is three years at least. Wait. That's if you're ON the list. They stopped doing a waiting list because they already had too many people.

    If your son is not disabled, he'll wait a long time for Section 8. But maybe he can get into low income housing.
     
  17. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Not sure what other types of low income housing are available but if he has any sense whatsoever he will be researching them SOON!
     
  18. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I so know this one!! It's like, should I give advice or just go bang my head into a brick wall as the result is the same, pain and a headache. I too gave up giving any advice to my difficult child years ago. When I do converse with him I keep it very simple, I say as little as possible and I never volunteer any information either.

    :hammer:
     
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  19. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I did the same after difficult child moved out. I will sometimes make a comment about something that could be an option but unless she picks up on the comment and asks for help I just let it go. I had to learn a long time ago to listen to what people were saying and follow up on the things they said that might apply to me. I figure my difficult child needs to learn to do the same.
     
  20. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I admit, I'm a nag. I find it real hard not to remind him to do things, from calling on his student loans to saving the money from his last paycheck in January to pay the rent in February to get to work on time.

    I'm working on it. :rolleyes: