I am having a hard time with that also.
We see our son on Monday for a family meeting at the rehab he is currently in.
I am very angry that he had this relapse. Why? Because I kept telling him things he needed to do to occupy his time so this would not happen. See a therapist, go to meetings, volunteer at an animal shelter (loves animals), work out, run, go to church, join a church basketball team (loves basketball) etc. etc.
He doesn't listen to any of my suggestions so why do I even open my mouth? Instead he got bored and lonely and used and his life, once again, blew up in his face. He helped himself to money out of a joint account that wasn't his and he bought a $700 Iphone on our AT&T account (don't even ask). Yes we're pretty mad about that also!
How do I show love and support when I'm pissed? Oh and he isn't participating in group last I heard so he still isn't getting it. We are taking away his car and his phone and he has to earn them back. The plan is sober living for one year. If he doesn't do that, he's on his own.